


Tell Me Your Tragedies

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Levi, Crave, Depression, Doctor Eren, Eren's super gay just doesn't know it, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gay Love, Gay Sex, Gayness, Green Eyed Prince, Grisha's Nice, Help My Girlfriend is Dying AU, I'm so sorry, Levi stop being a little shit and kiss Eren, Levi's Depressed, Levi's Hella Gay af, M/M, Mikasa's Dying, Neglect, Oh my god Levi, Rainbow, Reiner's Hella Gay, Slow Build, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Top Eren, Writer Levi, Yaoi, ereri, gay babies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 15:26:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 69,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3614907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My life is nothing special. My parents died when I was only 2 years of age, forcing me to live with my drunk of an uncle. I'm fucking 5 feet 2 god damn inches, and I only have 2 shitty friends.</p><p>Him on the other hand, his life is so perfect and wonderful. Happy family, adored by everyone, beautifully tall, a wonderful and caring girlfriend, and eyes that look more like Gems.</p><p>It's not fair...<br/>But what can I do, Kill him? I can't kill the only person I actually like.</p><p>Life is so unfair. Whoever is watching my fucking short ass is doing a terrible job. They put me in almost all the same common core classes as the gem eyed prince. What makes it so much worse is that his onyx haired girlfriend is in a lot of the same classes as him as well.</p><p>Maybe that's why I want to die so badly. Who knows. There's a lot of shit in the shitty world and frankly it's getting really damn annoying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I know I haven't finished True Colors but when I was converting my files to my computer everything got deleted and messed up. I've been trying to fix it but my computer is being an ass and won't let me get them onto my computer. So sadly True Colors will not be continuing. I'm super heart broken and I was so excited to write it but after everything that went down with my computer I don't have the heart to rewrite the chapters that I lost.
> 
> Anyways, I'm starting up a new Fic (this one obviously) and I really am falling in love with it. 
> 
> It's going to be really angsty and feelsy but it will all turn out fluffy and adorable in the end. Just bare with all my trash guys! I am in love with the Levi my mind came up with. Weird because he reminds me a lot of myself and I'm not to found of myself. Maybe because my personality mixed with Levi's is actually good for a Levi AU. Who knows?! (Obviously not me)
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and this fic!

  
My life is nothing special. My parents died when I was only 2 years of age, forcing me to live with my drunk of an uncle. I'm fucking 5 feet 2 god damn inches, and I only have 2 shitty friends.  
  
Him on the other hand, his life is so perfect and wonderful. Happy family, adored by everyone, beautifully tall, a wonderful and caring girlfriend, and eyes that look more like Gems.  
  
It's not fair...  
But what can I do, Kill him? I can't kill the only person I actually like.  
  
Life is so unfair. Whoever is watching my fucking short ass is doing a terrible job. They put me in almost all the same common core classes as the gem eyed prince. What makes it so much worse is that his onyx haired girlfriend is in a lot of the same classes as him as well.  
  
Maybe that's why I want to die so badly. Who knows. There's a lot of shit in the shitty world and frankly it's getting really damn annoying.  
  
  
  
"How's my short baby this bright and wonderful morning?" Hanji's voice was the last thing I needed to hear right now. The weight of her arm around my shoulder was very unpleasant as well. I tried to shrug her off but she just clung onto me more. The damn four eyes.  
  
"Would you get off of me Shitty Glasses. I already have a headache and I'm so god damn sore. I don't need your weight on me." I attempted to glare at her during my demand but it was too early in the morning to do any emotional damage. Plus Hanji is practically immune to my glares. Foey.  
  
She just giggled, still not removing her arm from my shoulder. "Why is my favorite grumpy pants even grumpier this morning? Hmmmm?"  
  
I let out a sigh before giving her an answer. "Kenny kicked me out of the house this morning, after he woke me up and threw my bag at my face. Said I'm not allowed to be late this week or the school won't let me graduate."  
  
"Wait! You actually fell asleep!?" Hanji removed her arm off me. Thank God. Only to spin me so I was facing her and placing both her filthy hands on my shoulders. Fucking God. Her glasses were practically falling off her face and she wore a shit eating grin on that shit eating face.  
  
"Could you not yell in my face. I wasn't joking about my headache. And Yes. I was actually able to sleep for more than two fucking hours."  
  
Hanji quickly pulled me into a tight hug, squeezing the last bit of life out of me. "I'm so proud of you!" Thank whoever was watching my ass because the damn glasses released her death grip she calls a hug. "We should tell Erwin! And get a Cake!"  
  
I was to busy wiping Hanji germs off of my nice clean black cardigan that I didn't notice that the four eyes left. I shrugged, fixed my bag, and headed off to my first period of hell.  
  
  
  
There I was, staring off into space, daydreaming about a certain gem eyed prince when my fucking teacher decides to call on me. "Levi, the answer?"  
  
I let out a very audible sigh before crossing my arms over my chest, "Sorry but I don't know I wasn't listening to the stupid lesson."  
  
"It amazes me how you made it this far in life."  
  
"It amazes me too," I murmured before my shitty teacher could speak again.  
  
"Eren, can you answer for Levi?"  
  
It didn't even come to my mind that Eren was also in my Algebra 2 class. I mentally smacked myself several time in the face. How could I be so fucking stupid not to know that the guy I have feelings for is in the same god damn class as me. It slipped my mind and now I just wanted the sun to burst and kill the whole Earth. Or for someone to just kill me and take me out of my misory.  
  
"Y is 28 less than 16 multiples of X, so Y would be 56.2 repeating."  
Eren said the answer like it was meant for him and only him to say. His voice was so smooth and beautiful it made me not want to die for a few seconds.  
  
The rest of the day I either spent my time thinking about how I completely embarrassed myself in front of Eren or about how beautifully he spoke.  
  
  
  
  
Walking home has never been my first choice but my uncle is always out with his hookers so I can never drive his car. And public transportation is so out of the question. Busses and trains are just moving compartments filled with disgusting germs. Luckily I don't live far from the Hell Hole society calls school and where I live has really nice weather. It's never too cold or burning hot. Perks of living by the ocean, the weather is practically the same year round.  
  
The trees were budding around me, birds were coming back, spring couldn't be more obvious. I can't really complain really, I graduate in May and I don't even have to go to college. Well if Erwin doesn't force me to go to college by paying and packing me up, I'm not going. You don't really need to go to college to be a writer. Sure it would help you get an editor but some how I managed to pick one up.  
  
When I saw my house I let out a deep sigh. I don't live in a grand house. It's just a simple two story small family home, with two bedrooms, and one and a half bathrooms. Well we do have a simple kitchen and homey living room.  
  
I honestly don't know why Kenny doesn't get a better house. He has the damn money. The idiot is so rich he practically shits out money but he doesn't buy a nicer house. It doesn't make sense. Then again, I don't understand half of the shit my uncle does. He becomes a drunk after making millions of dollars on his company. The damn man doesn't even have to work, he just hires people to do the work and he collects profit.  
  
I reached into my bag pulling out my house keys while I walked up to the porch of my house. Swiftly I unlocked the door and put my keys back in my bag. I walked into the kitchen, pulled out the kettle to started boiling a pot of water.  
  
Electric Kettles are to modern for my ass. I rather have a kettle on the stove.  While the water boiled I pulled out my mother's old tea cup and plate, the black tea leaves, and the loose tea leaf holder. By the time I put the tea leaves in the holder the water was finished boiling. I placed the holder in my mother's cup and poured the water in. Steam raised from the white and gold tea cup on the counter. I placed the cup on the plate and walked out of the kitchen and up to my room.  
  
Like everything else in my house, the rooms were small and homey but had expensive and comfortable as fuck furniture. I placed my tea cup on my dark wood desk before walking to my bed. Slowly I removed my messenger bag off my shoulder placing it on my bed. I opened the bag, pulled out my journal, my cigarettes, lighter, phone, and pencil pouch before taking the items back to my desk.  
  
My desk was always kept neat. I had shelves to place my books, drawers to keep my supplies, and a brand new Mac Book Pro laptop.  
  
I turned my laptop on and opened up my journal but not before pulling out my favorite black ink pen. Yes I have a favorite pen, get over it. I'm like a pen addict. I quickly typed in my password. I was welcomed with 6 new Skype notifications, no surprise they were all from Hanji. I ignored them, changed my status to "Do Not Disturb" and opened my browser.  
  
That's how I spent my evening. Sitting at my desk, in my comfy chair, watching stupid YouTube videos while drinking tea.  
  
  
  
  
I didn't sleep that night. Instead I spent half my early morning hours either in bed looking up at my ceiling or writing more of my book, Eternity.  
  
The staying up all night thing wasn't unusual. I normally only get maybe 2 hours of sleep if I sleep at all. It's always been like that, ever since I was little. I would go to sleep late and wake up early. Kenny never cared when I would tell him that I wasn't able to sleep, he was only concerned about which whore he was going to fuck in some hotel room.  
  
The fact that one night I got 5 hours of sleep and then the next night I don't sleep at all is pretty normal to. When I sleep for double the normal amount of hours I can't sleep the next night. It's truly annoying, but then again most things in this fucked up world are.  
  
When my shitty alarm went off, I quickly turned it off before walking to my closet. I stripped down and pulled out new underwear and socks. After putting them on I pulled out some black ripped skinny jeans, a plain black t-shirt, and a baggy black zip up jacket. I inspected how I looked in my full body mirror that hangs on my door before packing up my things. I lit a cigarette before walking out of my room and out of my house.  
  
There was a chilly breeze going on, making the budding trees move. I walked along the sidewalk slowly enjoying the nicotine and smoke burning the back of my throat. I wore a bored and dead look on my face the whole way to school, slowly smoking my cigarette.  
  
  
  
  
The whole day, everything at school was off, really off. Eren wasn't talking to his blond coconut friend, or his horse face friend, or really anyone. All his friends and him were down and seemed really depressed. I didn't care that his friends were sad but seeing him all sad was terrible. He didn't have that light in his eye and him not being engaged in classwork was strange.  
  
Several times through out the day I tried to talk to Eren but chickened out every time. I was such an idiot. Why in God's fucking name would Eren want to talk to me about his problems. He knows that I don't pay attention in class so why would he tell me his problems when he has doubts that I would even listen.  
  
I hated myself for being so stupid. That I couldn't find the damn motivation to at least not look like a fucking worthless idiot with no life.  
  
Every time I would look at Eren my heart would drop and I felt like dying. Well more than normal. He was that little bit of light that was always in my life. He was constantly happy and seeing him being sad was something I don't think anyone could get used to. It just doesn't happen. He's to strong minded and brave to let people see his weakness. Unlike me who wears my depression like a giant sign that is stapled to my forehead. I am weak and worthless, I deserve the suffering and pain that he was feeling. Eren did nothing wrong, he doesn't deserve the pain.  
  
  
  
The rest of the week went the same way and I was really starting to worry. Eren's friends were less depressing but Eren every day got more and more sad. But my little socially awkward ass couldn't go up to him and ask him if he's okay.  
  
Eren just kept ignoring everyone and always looked like he was about to cry. It was really heart breaking.  
  
After Algebra 2 I finally choose to stop being a little shit and to just go up to him. Luckily Eren didn't leave until the rest of the class was gone and he just stood against the wall outside of the classroom. He was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't notice me standing next to him. He looked so sad, leaning against the wall, hair all messed up, eyes puffy from crying, shirt all messed up. He looked so gross and covered in germs but he was Eren, the gem eyed prince that I really cared about.  
  
I took a deep breath, fixed my bag, and walked up to Eren.  
"Why are you so depressed?"  
  
It didn't hit me what I said until the words left my mouth. I was hitting myself mentally and hating myself even more. I became so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't realize that Eren was hugging me. His arms wrapped about my small waist and face buried in my hair. Once I was able to process what was going on I wrapped my arms around Eren's torso, gently rubbing my small pale hands up and down his back.  
  
Eren was so warm, like a personal heater. I've never loved the heat as much a I do now. I buried my face in his chest, taking in his sent. He smelt of the ocean and I was falling so in Love with him.  
  
I was disappointed when Eren pulled away from me.  
  
"I'm sorry. I really am, I barely even know you and I'm sure that was awkward for you-"  
  
I cut him off before more shit could fall out of his mouth. "You have nothing to be sorry about. It wasn't awkward, I was just worried about you. I've never seen you sad before and it was just very uncomfortable for me to see."  
  
The look on his face was so confusing, it was about 7 different emotions but all so passionate and radiant.  
  
"Thank you...." he held out the last word almost like he was trying to remember my name. I let out a sigh before finishing his sentence.  
  
"Levi."  
  
"Levi, Thank You."  
My whole body shook. The way my named just flowed off his tongue was heaven. Eren must have noticed my reaction because he let out an airy chuckle. "Hey, we're already late for the next period and there's only a few periods left in the day so how do you feel about ditching the rest of the day. I really don't think I can handle being here any longer today and I don't want to be alone right now."  
  
I couldn't trust my own voice so I slowly nodded my head up and down. Eren gave me a reassuring smile that made my stomach do gymnastic performances.  
  
We walked out of school side by side, in a comfortable silence. I wanted so bad to hold his hand or cling onto his arm but he was the one that needed comforting.  
  
Eren still seemed like he was stressed and worried. His eyes were still gloomy and dark it was hard to think that he was once happy. The way that he was acting, you would have thought he's been depressed since his mother and father conceived him.  
  
  
  
We continued to walk out and off of school property. I had no idea where we were going but I really didn't care, I was just happy that I was spending time with this prince. Eren led us through town until I finally realized that we were walking towards the beach.  
  
The closer we got to the beach the more relaxed Eren became, like the beach was some type of safety place where he would be happy no matter what was going on in his personal life.  
  
I was to caught up with how Eren was reacting to everything around him and how he instantly calmed down, that I barely noticed that he led me onto a rock cliff. "I know that it's probably pretty high up but it's just nice up here. I hope you don't mind Levi."  
  
"I don't mind, I like heights." It was sweet of Eren to be concerned about how I felt about the cliff. I was almost positive I was blushing at least a little bit.  
  
Eren just smiled and sat down on the rock, resting his arms on his legs. Finally I took into an account of how Eren really looked like. His hair was actually really long for a guys and shaggy. His hair was wind blown, shinny, and looked incredibly soft. I wanted to just run my fingers through it. His eyes were once again glowing like they used to and he wasn't even tense anymore. It seemed like everything he was going through suddenly vanished. I pulled down my pull over, over my ass before sitting down next to him with my legs pulled up to my chest.  
  
We both sat in silence watching the waves crash on the beach and the seagulls fly over the people laying on the sand. Neither of us spoke for a while until finally Eren broke the silence with a loud and heavy sigh. I looked over at him, he had one leg extended and the other bent with his arm rested on it. He was relaxed but at the same time he looked conflicted and confused.  
  
I guess he must have felt me staring because he turned his head towards me catching my gaze with those Caribbean eyes. He let out another sigh, this one much softer than the last. "Levi, there's a lot going on in my life right now and I need to get things off my chest and I think it would be easier to tell someone that doesn't really know me. All my friends just pull my past into it saying I'm stronger and I can get through this tough time. Hell, sometimes they don't even listen to what I'm saying. Could... I mean would you let me just vent."  
  
"You can vent all you want." Why did everything that left my mouth sound so fucking rude. I wanted to slap myself in the face. Never in ten million years would I ever say something that I won't be able to regret.  
  
"Thanks Levi," He shot me a sweet smile before he sighed and looked back out at the ocean. "Mikasa, my girlfriend, got in a car accident last Wednesday. Her parents died in the crash and Mikasa is in a coma. But even in her coma... Levi her body is slowing shutting down. I'm so scared. She's been with me for most of my life. We've been best friends since we were nine when I protected her from some bullies that were older than us. She helped me get through my break up with Annie. She's so supportive and caring. Sure she can be motherly but I love her. She's so amazing and I don't want her to die but there's nothing I can do but just keep hope that she's fighting and she'll win. I really don't know what I'll do without her. I'm so conflicted."  
  
Hearing everything that Eren was going through right now, It made a lot of sense. Seeing someone that you really care about slowly dying, I can only imagine how much pain that must be. If my parents lived through my childhood and then died when I became close to them, I don't know if I could handle it. But my parents didn't live throughout my childhood so I don't have anyone really close to me.  
  
"I know I probably sound really pitiful compared to everything that you've gone through." Eren let out a airy chuckle that showed off his beautiful smile. The dork thought that what he was going through wasn't compared to my shitty life.  
  
I let out a soft sigh, he might be good at math and almost everything else but Eren could be so wrong about things sometimes. "Eren," my voice instantly caught his attention as he turned his head giving me his full uninvited attention. I didn't break eye contact as I kept speaking, "the only thing that is truly pitiful is when someone causes pain on themselves by being oblivious or a stupid winey brat. You are neither. Your pain and issues right now are just as real as the ones in my shitty life. The only difference is I've been living like this my whole life. You have just started this path and you being as strong minded as you are, you're going to push through it. You're going to make Mikasa proud, because I'm sure she loves you and even if you can't do anything now, you can do something later in life to make it up to her. I'm not much of a believer in Heaven, but if you believe that if or when she dies that she's watching over you then I'm sure she is. Eren don't doubt yourself, Mikasa would want you to be happy.  
  
"Sure it's going to be rough but you have some great friends that also want the best for you. Like that Blond Coconut, you should see the looks he gives you. Everyone is going to be here for you. You have an amazing support system that everyone with problems wish they had. You're going to get through this. Your problems are real and anything real can be over come. Just keep fighting, because like you said, if you don't fight you can't win."  
  
My whole little speech, not once did he break our gaze. I received all of his attention and I was really, dare I say, Happy. For once in my life I actually felt like someone cared about what I was going to say or what I was saying. Eren locked onto every single word that left my mouth and I didn't feel so self conscious. Something about Eren was just really easy going and I don't know why I couldn't have talked to the kid sooner. He's caring and sweet. He just wants the best for everyone else that he sometimes to forget that he has needs to. I think that's why Mikasa has a motherly aura. But I could be wrong, I've never really met her. All I know about Mikasa is that she's dating Eren, she's guarded, strong, and very much in control of her life. Unlike me who was weak, too cautious to make friends and let people in, and I don't know what the actual fuck is going on in my life.  
  
Eren gave me a tender smile that made my heart melt. Honest, I probably would have kissed him right then and there if I wasn't such a little awkward shit. "Thank you Levi, for everything. Caring about me, giving me some amazing advice that seems so professional, and for coming here with me. You really are something and I really like you. You seem like a really great person." His smile never faded and his compliment almost seemed completely genuine.  
  
"Tch, I'm not that great. I'm just a fucking little awkward piece of shit." I let out a sigh looking back at the ocean.  
  
"Levi! Don't say that about yourself. You are amazing! You're smart, caring, and realistic. You don't find many people who don't hide behind lies now a days. Somehow I feel really comfortable around you. Maybe it's because you're honest or maybe it's because you cared about me when you could have just walked away and minded your own business." When I looked back at him, both of his hands were placed right next to my thighs. I looked from his hands to his face. His hands were firmly pressed against the rock under us and his eyes were focused on me, almost as if he was observing me. Again, I must have been blushing because my face felt so warm.  
  
Taking a giant risk I placed my hand on his. He didn't seem the slightest bit fazed, causing me to smile at him whispering a small "Thank You" that was just loud enough for only him to hear. Eren smiled back at me, making my stomach and heart to do cartwheels and back flips.  
  
I took my hand off his earning me a questioning look before I stood up, cleaning off my ass from all the possible germs that much have stuck there from the rock. Eren caught on quickly and stood up as well.  
  
We walked down the rock in silence. It wasn't tense or awkward it was just us enjoying our new found friendship.  
Now I have Four Eyes, Captain America, and  a Gem Eyed Dashing Prince as my friends  
  
Not Bad....


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horses Don't Know Manners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ELLO!
> 
> I got some amazing feedback on the first chapter and let me just tell you how happy reading those comments last night. I'm really glad you guys are enjoying this because I really enjoying writing these chapters.
> 
> Honestly I don't know how I finished this chapter today but I'm not complaining in anyway.
> 
> Before I get really off topic and make this really long and never let you read this super depressing and angsty chapter.

  
Eren Fucking Yeager, one of the most amazing guys you will ever meet. He's sweet, funny, caring, outgoing, passionate, and nearly perfect. Nearly. He's human he is going to have flaws. You can't expect someone to be perfect, but some people's imperfections just make them perfect to the people who care about them. Eren Yeager is one of those people.  
  
Last week when I stopped being a cowardly little shit and talked to Eren, we've been hanging out together almost everyday. Some days when Eren is comfortable we visit Mikasa at the hospital, sometimes we go to the beach, other times we just hang out at his house. Never mine though. To much of a risk of Kenny coming home with one of his Whores.  
  
Spending so much time with Eren just increased Hanji's interest about my personal life. Constantly I am pounded with questions about Eren. The damn four eyes just loves to be part of every second of my life. It's annoying and I can't stand it sometimes. Well, more like most times. It really amazes me how Erwin has been putting up with her crazy ass for 5 years. I mean like, how do you not break up with her after all the crazy experiments she does. It's terrifying.  
  
Erwin is just magical. He look's like Captain America, has perfect hair, the nicest ass I've ever seen, he's completely ripped, and he's smart, REALLY smart.  
  
  
  
"Yo, Yeager! Get your ass over here, I need to talk to you."  
  
Fucking Horse Faced Jean. He can't be a descent human being and walk up to someone and ask them politely if they could talk to them in private. It's not that hard. But I guess being polite is a challenge for horses, who knew.  
  
Eren over the week we've been hanging out learned quickly how to tell what I was feeling. This was very useful for both of us, he was able to calm me down and I was able to talk to him without saying anything. Which is very much useful because I don't want anything to slip. Saying that you love someone while their girlfriend is dying, isn't a good idea I would presume. Eren looked once at me and instantly knew that I was pissed at Jean. He quickly caught my attention, rolling his eyes before speaking, "Damn Jean, it amazes me how Armin puts up with him. I mean like why would you want to date someone who looks like a horse." I nodded in agreement before Eren left me with a small and gentle smile.  
  
Every once and a while I would look over at them and Eren would just be glaring at Jean while the fucking horse would either be pointing at me or doing crazy shit with his hands. And I thought I was an idiot. Oh man was I wrong when I thought there couldn't be someone ruder or stupider than me but once I officially met Jean, I was proven wrong seven million times in a row.  
  
Finally after what seemed like forever Eren came stomping back over to the table I was sitting at. He was radiating anger, before I knew it Eren was grabbing my arm and dragging me out of the small cafe we were hanging out in. I really didn't care that he was able to drag me like a rag doll. I know that I'm just skin and bones.   
  
Eren kept dragging me until we were at least 8 blocks away from the Cafe.   
  
I couldn't speak, I just let him pace and scowl in anger. Whatever Jean said to get Eren this mad, must have been something big and personal.  
  
Soon, Eren's pacing stopped and he just vocally expressed his anger before he stopped and faced me, "That fucking Horse Faced asshole! He can't tell me who I can't be friends with. You know what he said. That you only started talking to me so that you could get me to leave Mikasa. That you don't actually care about me. But all you've done this past week is care about me. You constantly tell me to keep faith in Mikasa and that if she's going to die, she should die being loved. I mean, who would leave their dying lover. It's cruel and inhuman. He's just an asshole who doesn't know you. But still, how could he say that?"  
  
Part of me wanted to tell him that I loved him, but if I did that now then, he might hate me forever. I couldn't speak, I didn't trust myself to not slip up and say something I would regret for the rest of my life.  
  
My silence didn't go unnoticed by Eren and I could tell he was doubting believing in me. "It's not true Levi? You didn't just use me, you actually care about me right? Please tell me that you didn't start talking to me so you could make me break up with Mikasa." Still even with his pleading I didn't speak, I didn't even try. I was paralyzed, stuck in nothingness. I barely even felt when he placed his hands on my shoulders, crying, sobbing, yelling right in front of me. He was breaking down and I couldn't do anything. I don't know how long we were standing there. All I remember is Eren sobbing on my shoulder, asking me to tell him that it's not true even if it was a lie.   
  
Finally I tried to speak, "I don't want you to br-break up with Mika-Mikasa." My voice was shaking and I really did not sound convincing. But apparently it was enough for Eren because he muttered a small and weak "Thank You"  in between sobs.  
  
We both stood there, his forehead on my shoulder and me standing there doing nothing. Just letting everything play out.   
  
After a while Eren got off my shoulder. He didn't look the slightest bit convinced that I was telling the truth. I don't blame him. Jean was slightly right. Yes I wanted to go out with Eren but I wouldn't forcefully make him break up with Mikasa. I don't want to date him if he doesn't pick me on his own. Meaning  nothing to your lover is the same thing as not having one. If they don't care then they don't love you. I've spent my whole shitty life by myself without someone who truly loves me.   
  
I guess Eren got tired of my silent ass because when I finally got out of my thoughts, he was walking away.   
  
Everything was my fault. Why did I think that I could help Eren get though his tough times when I think about taking my life everyday. I couldn't help anyone if I couldn't help myself get out of the hole that I was in. Eren will never love me, and I can't blame him. I'm a worthless weakling that doesn't deserve anything but pain.   
  
  
  
After I stopped sulking on the sidewalk, I walked back to the cafe, glared at Jean, grabbed my bag, and went home.   
  
No surprise that my uncle wasn't home. I walked straight up to my room without making a cup of tea. I collapsed on my bed and cried. Something I don't normally do. It had been years since I cried. Crying is something that wasn't easy for me. To me, crying was something that people with problems worth while did.   
  
I was a sad, worthless shorty that only brings pain on others and myself. I wasn't worth anyone's time. I couldn't blame Eren if he hated me now. I would to. He thinks that I only talked to him because I wanted him to break up with his dying girlfriend.  
  
  
  
I spent the next five days hiding in my room. I didn't care if I didn't graduate, I was old enough to drop out and it wasn't like I was going to college so what was the point. Plus, I might end up dead in the next few years for all I know or care.  
  
Spending so much time in my room writing my book was fun and useful but I couldn't stay in my room forever without killing myself. I needed something to get my mind off all the shit that I've done in my life.   
  
I grabbed my bag, picked up my journal, pen, cigarettes, lighter, and phone before rushing out of my house. It was the middle of the day, my uncle was out doing god knows what,  everyone was at school for at least another few hours. I wouldn't have to deal with the idiots at my school finding me and giving me shit for being a shitty friend. Even if I was, I didn't need people reminding me every second of the day.  
  
Quickly I walked to the beach, ignoring all the stares I got from random people. Ignoring the glares from people I pushed out of the way. All I needed to do is get things off my chest. Once I reached the beach I ran along the sand and to the rock cliff.  It was the only safe place I could think of. Sure, it reminded me of Eren and his kind and thoughtful nature but it was the only place I knew to go.  
  
I sat down not caring about the germs and pulled out my journal and instantly started writing.  
  
  
 _Everything in life has to happen for a reason. Right?_  
 _Wrong, when things go wrong it's because we let it. Sure we don't have a lot of control in this world but that doesn't give us excuses for failing the people we care about. I didn't make my parents die, but I haven't done anything to make them proud of me._  
 _No I became a sad sad teenager that sulks around writing pointless shit._  
  
 _I'm never going to be successful, I'm never going to get married, I'm never going to do anything meaningful with my life._  
 _If my parents were alive right now they would hate me._  
 _I would probably be on the streets because my parents kicked me out for being short, or gay, or just being me._  
  
  
I grunted with frustration, tore out the page and threw it off the rock. Why was I writing about my shitty life personally, that was cliche and stupid and annoying. Much like me but that didn't matter. Just because I am all those things doesn't mean I have to embrace it. I rubbed my temples before starting another page.  
  
  
 _Beautiful ocean is nothing but green lies,_  
 _crashing onto pointless sand on a sad beach_  
  
 _Soon that beautiful ocean's lies are to much and the ocean fails,_  
 _it turns black and everything dies,_  
 _the animals, plants everything consumed in a wave of lies_  
  
 _This dying ocean is much like our society,_  
 _both filled with lies, dark, and ugly_  
  
 _The beautiful ocean is no more,_  
 _it's now a death pool,_  
 _filled with dreams and hopes of helpless creatures_  
  
 _Happiness is a lie,_  
 _the creatures that saw past the beautiful ocean left,_  
 _they live because they refuse to live in rotten lies_  
  
 _They roam a pointless world that is filled with hate and torture,_  
 _seeing the pain that is on land they think,_  
 _is living with pain better than dying believing in the lies?_  
  
 _Every creature decides for themselves,_  
 _some go back to ocean,_  
 _some stick through the pain that is on land,_  
 _the pain of the real world_  
  
 _The ocean isn't a safe place,_  
 _but neither is land_  
  
 _Each place has it's faults much like humans,_  
 _but their is beauty in both unlike humans_  
  
 _Humans,_  
 _they kill each other thinking it will bring peace,_  
 _they destroy forests,_  
 _pollute water ways,_  
 _slowly poisoning the planet they live on_  
  
 _The black ocean is society,_  
 _filled with lies and betrayal_  
  
 _The land is the realist's world,_  
 _filled with pain of knowing the truth_  
  
 _No one knows which is better,_  
 _living in a beautiful and dark lie,_  
 _or knowing the truth of everything no matter how painful_  
  
 _The beaches is the in between,_  
 _it's filled with the people who believe in the lies of the ocean,_  
 _but try to bring the pain of the truth on others_  
  
 _They are the darkness,_  
 _they are the ones that think they are right,_  
 _they don't help they just make people hate_  
  
 _Humans are terrible things,_  
 _living lies,_  
 _telling lies,_  
 _killing people,_  
 _being to blunt,_  
 _hurting the people they really care about_  
  
 _The ocean filled with lies can't be freed of it's sins,_  
 _The land filled with pain can't be forgiven for the suffering it's caused,_  
 _The beach can't be trusted for to betrayal it's brought_  
  
 _No place is safe,_  
 _no one is to be trusted,_  
 _everything has to be challenged_  
  
 _The truth may hurt,_  
 _but the truth is better than living in a world filled with lies_  
  
 _See the world for what it is and you will be shocked,_  
 _shocked that people can do such awful things_  
  
  
I quickly turned to the next page, writing just as fast as the last time,  
  
  
 _Darkness is in us all,_  
 _it controls us_  
  
 _Some people think it's god,_  
 _some say it's karma,_  
 _but the darkness doesn't care for names_  
  
 _It's simply here to exist,_  
 _to give people reasons to do wrong,_  
 _to take punishments,_  
 _to be fucking idiots_  
  
 _This whole world is filled with darkness,_  
 _slowly taking over the most power crazy people_  
  
  
  
I quickly closed my journal and threw it on my bag next to me. My life was a mess. Who was I trying to fool. My book will never be something great that everyone will love. I'm not going to have this life that people with actual plans will have. I have no control of my life. I can't take that control. I'm to much of a worthless weakling to do anything. I let people walk all over me and then I get back at them in small but evil ways.  
  
No wonder everyone hates me.  
No wonder Hanji is always so annoying to me  
No wonder I'm living with my drunk of an uncle instead of going into foster care  
No wonder I suck at school  
No wonder I can't find anyone to love me  
No wonder God took my parents away from me  
No wonder my life is a living hell  
  
I am a terrible person and everyone knows it, and the people who don't know it just didn't know me. Hanji and Erwin are probably only my friends because they feel sorry for me. I wouldn't doubt it for a second.  
  
I'm stupid, annoying, bitchy, weak, a waste of space. Hell, people are to scared to talk to me because they think I'm just going to tell them all my problems or yell at them if they become close to me. But just because I have problems doesn't mean I dump them on other people. I'm not like that.   
  
I burden people I don't even know personally.  
  
I am worthless and deserve anything but good.   
  
Going to the beach didn't help me get my mind off of my shitty ass life, instead it just made me feel so much worse about myself. I packed up my stuff, lit a cigarette and started walking home. Nothing in God's ass was fair. The world is fucking stupid. Just like me. I let the nicotine burn the back of my throat as I walked home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying not to cry!!!! ARGHH!!! This chapter started out so happy and sweet until I chose to make Jean an asshole who doesn't like Levi!!!
> 
> Don't hate me guys!
> 
> (Manely because this is going to be a really depressing and angsty fic, SORRY!)
> 
> Well hopefully I can finish the next chapter soon and not make you guys wait forever and 15 years for the next chapter.
> 
> Any feedback or reviews are greatly appreciated!  
> Thanks for reading <3
> 
> Now time for me to hide in a dark corner and cry


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're to good for this world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter took a little longer to write but I think it turned out well. Sorta. I'll let you guys decide what you think of this semi fluffy and semi angsty chapter.
> 
> Enjoy reading my Lovelies

-Eren's POV-   
  
  
Jean is and always be an asshole, he thinks he can just tell me who I can be friends with and who I can't be friends with. Levi is better than that, I know he is. He's a wonderful guy. He's caring, passionate, and honest. He's so easy to be around and he's one of my closet friends.   
  
Since that whole Jean incident, I've been worried about Levi. I know he doesn't want me to get hurt, and for some reason he really cares about me. He watches out for me and gives me advice. When I'm with him, I don't feel so alone. Levi just understands the pain of losing someone and it makes it easy to relate to him.  
  
Levi, he reminds me of Mikasa a little, in control, caring, supportive, and their hair, both of them have this raven black hair that's so silky and beautiful. They are so similar, and I'm glad because I miss Mikasa. I miss her so much and hanging out with Levi helps because I see her in him. Except when I look at his eyes. His eyes aren't brown like hers, no, his eyes are this pastel blueish-greyish color and I've never seen anything like them. The color is so beautiful and original, it's a pleasure to see. Makes me feel sad when Levi puts himself down, if only he would see how great he is.  
  
So, when Levi didn't show up at school the day after Jean decided to be an asshole, I got scared. Everyone knows that Levi has depression and tried to kill himself. I'm worried. He was pretty conflicted when I was breaking down, but who can really blame him.  
  
  
  
  
After four days of Levi not showing up, I was trying to decide if I should ask Hanji or Erwin for his address and go and check up on him. In the end, it wasn't my place to just randomly show up at his house. I've never been there and I don't think I want to risk running into his uncle. Sure he's rich but from what Levi told me, he's a whore fucking dick head.  
  
I ended up ditching during the 5th day of not seeing Levi. I didn't know how sensitive Levi was. I didn't know if he would kill himself over what Jean said, or over my break down. Slowly I walked to the one place that was like a second home to me, the cliff. It was beautiful and nice up there, the wind blowing in your face, looking out at the greenish blue ocean, smelling the sand in the air, it's amazing.  
  
No one was really at the beach, just a few people who owned the beach houses. I looked at the waves that crashed into the sand, foaming white bubbles. It was a beautiful day, but there was something missing.   
  
Slowly I walked up the rock, I didn't notice the grunts and small strings curses until I was almost at the top ledge. I made my steps quieter not wanting to disturb whoever was on the ledge.  
  
To my surprise it was Levi, he was writing like a mad man, his hair was covering his face as he was looking down. His clothes were baggy on his small figure and he looked like he was about to cry. I wanted so bad to go up to him, but for all I know, he could be pissed at me or just pissed in general. Choosing the safer path I walked back down the rock just to walk around town.  
  
Levi was okay, he wasn't dead, he was justing working through some things. Hopefully that was what was going on.  
  
I mindlessly walked around on the streets, not really caring where I went, as long as kept walking, moving.   
  
It was strange, how I got so worried about Levi. I've only been talking to him, been friends for only a week, even myself don't get connected to people that fast. The last person I quickly got attached to was Mika.   
  
My wondering got me to the cafe where Jean decided it was the perfect time to be an asshole. It was getting late, I was tired, I really needed a coffee and maybe a muffin. When I walked into the cafe, I noticed that in the corner sat Hanji. She wasn't in her normal context. She wasn't being crazy or loud. Instead she was reading a book, with her legs crossed in a very feminine way.  
  
All thoughts about coffee and muffins were gone. I marched right up to her and sat down. Once Hanji saw that it was me she suddenly broke her calm and collected state. There was clear passion radiating off of her. Good to know she was still the same.   
  
"Never thought I would find you here, would have thought you would be with my short darling baby." Her voice was smooth but not as loud as it normally was. But why would she refer to Levi as her "Short Baby"?  
  
"Wait, are you and Levi dating?"   
  
Her laugh was booming loud and I raised a brow in confusion. Hanji's ponytail was swinging side to side behind her head. "Me and Levi dating?! Oh my god Eren, you crack me up!"  
  
"Why is it so funny?"  
  
"Why? Well only because sweet cheeks, my darling Levi is one of the most gay guys I've ever met. I mean like, he's Hella Gay As All Fuck! Plus I'm dating Erwin, but I'm sure if Erwin wasn't straight him and Levi would be dating. He has always said that if Levi was a girl be would tap dat ass. But I have to admit, imagining them together just warms my heart. Almost as much as the idea of you dating my short baby." She had her hands over her heart and she looked love struck. But me, I couldn't get over the information she just told me. Levi was gay and people imagined us as a couple.   
  
Sure he's a good friend and I care about him but, "I'm not gay."  
  
Hanji grabbed my hands in her own grabbing my attention, "I'm sure you're not." She said the words to calmly and with a wink and a smirk. Did she really think that I was gay? I mean, sure I've kissed Armin and Jean before but that was only because we were drunk at a party and playing a stupid game of spin the bottle. I wasn't gay no matter what Hanji said.   
  
I took my hands away getting only a little bit freaked out. "Anyways, Hanji I haven't seen Levi since Jean choice to be an asshole and ruin my day. He hasn't showed up at school which I'm sure you've noticed and today I saw him on the rock cliff at the beach. He looked so, sad. I'm worried about him but I have no way of contacting him. I need to know if he's okay."  
  
Hanji took a small sip of her drink before speaking, "You really aren't convincing me that you aren't gay but I can give you his number as long as you do something for me sweet cheeks."  
  
"Yes anything," my voice sounded way to desperate and I mentally slapped myself in the face. She was right, I wasn't convincing her that I was straight. Not with how happy I was to talk to Levi.  
  
She just smirked, "Give me your phone." I pulled out my phone from my pocket and placed it in her hand. She typed away at the screen before handing it back to me. "Okay, Levi is going to meet you at Rose Park in 20 minutes. Don't be late, he hates waiting. But before you go to the park, pay a little visit to Levi's editor I already programed the GPS on your phone to his house. Ask him for Levi's favorite Vodka, he's going to give it to you no matter how young you look. He's more of a father to Levi than Kenny so if Levi needs liquor, Pixis is going to provide it. Pick up the liquor then go to the park. That's it."  
  
Hanji sat back in her chair looking pleased of herself. I just nodded, said my thanks and headed to this Pixis's house. The name seemed familiar but he was an editor, luck would have it is that he's a good one.  
  
  
  
It didn't take long to get to Pixis's house. I knocked on the door and waited, not long after, the door swung open reveling a red nosed, bald man with a very interesting mustache.   
  
"I need Levi's favorite Vodka Mr. Pixis."  
  
He gave me a hearty laugh that only he could laugh. "Levi hmm. He's a special one Levi. Come in son I'll get the Vodka for ya." He moved out of the way letting me enter his home. It wasn't big, it was small and cozy. Perfect for someone who lives alone. Pixis motioned for me to sit down at one of the chairs he had in the entry way. I took his offer and sat down in the wooden chair. His home was slightly messy, papers everywhere along with books. Weird how this man was Levi's editor when Levi was a total neat freak.   
  
Pixis came back with a clear glass unlabeled bottle of liquid, most likely the Vodka. He gave it to me with a small smile, "Look son, watch out for Levi. He can get pretty drunk off of this stuff. Make sure he gets home safe. Also, keep him happy."  
  
  
  
I didn't understand what was going on with Hanji and Pixis. Both seem to be pushing me towards Levi.  
  
  
After I met Pixis I went straight to the park. To my surprise, on the swing set sat a small dark figure sitting there, swinging their feet because they can't reach the ground. Even with the little light coming from few lamp posts around the park I could tell it was Levi. I took in a deep breath, gripped the bottle, and walked up to him. Right away he noticed me. I gave him a small smile and I saw light in his eyes, sadly he looked away.  
  
Right now wasn't the time to think to hard. All I had to do was to tell Levi that I was sorry for breaking down, cheer him up, and safely take him home. I wasn't going to leave Mika for him, I wasn't going to date him, I was just going to be his good friend. Someone to pick him up when he falls.   
  
I sat down next to him, opened the bottle, and offered it to him, "It's your favorite straight from Pixis, thought you would want the first swig."  
  
Levi smiled at me, but not one of those crappy half hearted smiles he gives everyone. No this one was a real smile and it was bright, filled with more passion than Hanji's laughs. I was so caught up with his smile I barely noticed that he took the bottle from my hands.   
  
"Thanks Eren."  
  
"You don't need to thank me Levi. But I do owe you an apology, I shouldn't have put you under so much stress with my break down. Jean was just being an asshole, trying to bring my happiness down because I started dating Mikasa. It has nothing to do with you but I made it seem like it was.I really hope we can still be friends." The whole time I was speaking, not once did he look at me.  
  
"It's fine Eren. I understand but could we just please not talk about that. The whole thing has me very self conscious, more than normal. Plus the only thing you really owe me is your true opinion of me. That's all I'm asking. I don't care what you think, so could you just please tell me. I need to know." His voice was shaky and I knew I wouldn't be able to talk him out of this. Sometimes, Levi could be more stubborn than me.  
  
"Well, my opinion on you is that I think you are an amazing guy. You're caring, fun, honest. You Levi, you are something you don't find every century. You're different and personal, you actually understand the world for what it is instead of believing all of the lies everyone tells you on a normal base." I caught his attention and I wasn't going to lose it. He was self conscious and I made a promise to make him happy. "Levi, You're stronger than anyone I've ever met. You've gone through more pain than anyone can imagine and yet here you are. And that's just your personality. You have these beautiful eyes that anyone would want. They aren't blue but they aren't white or silver either. They aren't even a color, just special in the best of ways. You're hair is so soft and silky. The way you style your hair is perfect for you. It's looks so messy but yet put together. Most of it to one side with a few strands hanging out. You have an amazing jaw line and figure. Plus your height makes you so cute."  
  
The last comment hit him, he pushed my leg with his foot before bringing up the bottle to his mouth, "I'm not cute."   
  
"Oh stop lying, you're fucking adorable!" I couldn't help but laugh at his face. It was a mixture of, 'Are you shitting me right now?' and 'Do you want to die right now?' But he didn't act, just drank more and more of the Vodka.  
  
We laughed, told jokes, he got so drunk I think he blacked out, me I didn't drink a lot. I didn't want to risk blacking out and then never remember the loose and giggly Levi. Who would have thought he had so many shit jokes up his sleeve. Most of them were really stupid but funny at the same time. He was happy and that's all I really wanted. He was to good for this world. He is crazy talented, to nice for anyone to understand, he is filled with such real emotion, and he gives everyone a chance. He's fair but for some reason the world wasn't fair to him.  
  
At the end of the night he was so drunk it was just comical seeing him try to walk on his own. Luckily Hanji typed in Levi's address as well so I wasn't just wondering around town with a fucking drunk ass Levi hanging off my shoulder speaking about how he's in love with some prince. Levi was something.  
  
Honestly it was a miracle that I got him home. I took him to the couch in the living room and put a blanket over him. Just because it was almost spring didn't mean it was cold as fuck. I found the kitchen easily, poured him some water and wrote a note for him with some random blank paper I found.   
  
My work was done and I had fixed my friendship with Levi. Gave him a good night that he wouldn't remember when he woke up but he was happy tonight and that's all I cared about. He's my friend and I truly care about him. I left his home and headed back to my house with a smile on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren will be the death of me, like why are they so cute!!?! 
> 
> But I'm warning you now, there might be some tension in the next chapter because of Levi saying he was in love with a prince. I have to warn you now.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed.  
> Any reviews or feedback would be greatly appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm Coming, Everything Will Be Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EKK! I'm sorry for not uploading! I've been dealing with some personal matters and I had writer's block on top of that!
> 
> but the good news is, is that I finished this chapter. I wanted to get something out for you guys to read so it's kind of short and maybe not well edited.
> 
> Anyways, Enjoy the chapter!!

I had little to no memory of what happened last night. What I was able to remember was that I was at Rose Park with Eren. He had some Vodka or something from Hanji or Pixis. I pinched my pounding head. I was so unbelievably hungover it wasn't even funny. Trying to think only made my headache worse so I gave up. If I really wanted to know then I could just ask Eren. I did have his number now so, it's easy. But, I got shit faced with him, him of all people. Who knows what came out of my mouth last night. Mother fucker shit headed whore fucking dickhole.   
  
My headache was so bad I couldn't even think straight enough to finish my thoughts. I looked down at my lap, a blanket? Must have been Eren. A small smile spread across my face. If I said anything to him last night then it wasn't to bad if he still cared enough to take me home and lay me down on the couch with a blanket. The dork.   
  
Pain ran all through my body and I was instantly up and running for the bathroom, barely making it in time. I puked out my guts feeling beyond disgusted after. The worse part about being hungover is throwing up. Its vile and so disgusting. I lazily walked back to the couch, plopping my ass down. Personally I was to hungover to care about anything. The world could blow up and I wouldn't give two god damn fucking shits. My hungover ass wasn't doing anything for the whole day. Bless weekends.  
  
I closed my eyes and drifted off into a peaceful place of sleep.  
  
  
  
When I woke up, the sun was high in the sky and shining in my face like a fucking shit head. I can appreciate all that the fucker does but that doesn't mean that I have to like the damn thing. The fact that I was able to go to sleep was great, but I knew I wasn't going to be going to sleep tonight. It was just my luck.   
  
There was a kink in my neck that was painful from falling asleep siting up. Just my luck again. I looked around the living room. There was no sign of my uncle even living in this house. I wouldn't doubt if he actually got another house for himself so he wouldn't have to deal with my disappointing ass. Even with the little trace of Kenny's existence, there was a trace of someone other than myself. On the coffee table next to the couch, there was a filled glass of water and a note under it.  
  
I got up off the chair with little struggle and walked the short path to the table. I took a long drink of the water before even thinking about the note. I was still so hungover and I was so dehydrated. The water went down my throat without much of a struggle and I couldn't be more thankful. Without  even thinking about it, I downed practically the whole glass.   
  
As much as I wanted to, I finally stopped and looked at the note. Bracing myself for whatever it may say.  
  
  
 _Levi,_  
  
 _Make sure you drink plenty of water and stay close to a bathroom. You got pretty drunk last night._  
  
 _Thank you for a good night, I had a lot of fun._  
  
 _Sincerely,_  
 _Eren Yeager Meister_  
  
 _PS I want to meet this "Prince" you're so in love with_  
  
  
  
I didn't know if I wanted to die or go and tell him that he was the Prince. Neither sounded like very good ideas. Well, not practical ideas. Instead I settled for face palming myself into the next universe. I always did the stupidest things when I was drunk. I'm the stupid and bubbly drunk. It's like I become a typical white girl that makes a shit ton of shit jokes. I let out a sigh before I dropped the note on the table, grabbed the glass, and walked into the kitchen.   
  
This whole thing, my whole relationship or whatever I had with Eren was so damn confusing. He's in love and I'm just a love sick shorty with too many shit jokes up his ass. Eren wasn't going to date me, he wouldn't. I mean who would. I am going to spend the rest of my shitty life alone, writing my shitty novels. Some times, I put myself down so much I end up saying the same thing over again. Life is a pointless game filled with clueless creatures.  
  
No one in this damn world knows what the hell they are doing.  
  
I don't know what I'm doing. No one knows what they are doing.  
  
  
  
Personally I don't know what happened. When I woke up I was on the ground and my phone was ringing like crazy. Why my volume was so loud I won't know, normally I have it on silent. The world was truly turning upside down.  
  
I squirmed around looking for my phone with half lidded eyes. Every so often the ringing would stop but after a few seconds it would start again. After a while of no luck I stood up and found my fucking phone on the god damn couch. Just my luck. I crawled to the couch and picked up the damn phone.  
  
8 fucking missed calls.  
All from Eren.  
  
Eren knows that I don't like being called. I told him that. I tell everyone that. He would only call me if something was going on. Without a second thought I called him back. Almost instantly the line picked up.  
  
"Levi," Eren's voice was weak and disoriented. Almost as if he's been balling his eyes out for the past hour at least.  
  
I was truly worried about him, "Eren, are you okay? What's going on?" My voice was wary and weak, almost like his own.  
  
"She's gone Levi, sh-she's gone," his words are muffled by his sobs.  
  
Mikasa was gone, she was dead. Eren was hurting and I couldn't do anything. "Shit man," me and my shitty ass being socially awkward and not knowing what to even do. I mean what do you say to the person that just lost the person they love. What do you even say to someone when they are grieving.  
  
"Ca-can you meet me at the cliff, please. I ca-can't-" his voice was to much for me to hear. Eren may never love me but that doesn't mean I have to be an ass to him. If he can't give me his love then I'll take his friendship, and from what I know friends keep each other happy. He didn't need to explain himself. If he couldn't see Mikasa like that, I wouldn't think twice about taking him away from that.  
  
"I'll leave now, don't do anything stupid on your way there," I knew my voice was demanding but that didn't matter.  
  
"Okay I will and Levi,"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thank you, Thank you so much."  
  
"You can thank my short ass later, lets just get you safe. I'll see you at the cliff in less than 10 minutes."  
I didn't care if he had something to say after that. If I had let him keep talking we would be on the phone all night. I needed to see Eren now, I couldn't talk to him on the phone. Maybe I never had someone to help me get over the fact that the only people that ever cared about me were dead, but I know that if someone was there to hold and care for me, it might have been easier.   
  
I did not want Eren to suffer like did. I wouldn't want anyone to go through the pain I went through, let alone the person I love. Sure I can't do a lot of things but I can protect the people I care about.  
  
Don't Worry Eren, I'm coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWWW! Levi is trying to protect Eren! Adorable!
> 
> Hopefully I can actually write the next chapter and it will take less than forever for me to update!
> 
> Thank you for reading! Reviews and/or feedback is greatly appreciated!  
> Love You!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll wait a million years if I can have you in the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter! Or happy Sunday if you don't celebrate Easter!
> 
> But, I'm super happy about this chapter even if I had to stop writing half way through because I was having way to many feels... But it's okay because we are getting somewhere with the story! Yayness!
> 
> Anyways, Enjoy reading this fluffy and Angsty chapter!

Eren, Please don't do anything stupid. Please be smart about your actions. Eren, Please.  
  
I couldn't stop worrying about him the whole walk to the cliff. Well it wasn't really a walk, I was practically running. Everything around me was just a blur, the whole city of Trost was passing by me. I'm sure everyone I pasted by thought I was a maniac. Ripped black jeans, white button up shirt that wasn't even buttoned evenly, and unlaced black combat boots. To anyone on the streets I looked like I was running from the cops or something.  
  
I don't honestly blame them. If my uncle wasn't as rich as he is then I would be a street rat. Stealing food, part of a gang, maybe even become a hit man. Who the fuck knows. It never happened and it probably will never happen.  
  
It didn't take long to get to the beach. It was late in the evening, the sun was setting, creating a beautiful scene that I might have taken in more if I wasn't distracted by a single figure walking along the beach. Just for a second, the light hit the face of the figure and I saw puffy Caribbean eyes. My legs were ahead of my brain. Before I could process anything else, tears were falling out of my eyes, I was running full speed, and yelling out to Eren. The kid didn't do anything stupid and get himself hurt. Pain can cause you to make rash choices and I'm so glad he didn't do that.  
  
My voice caught his attention quickly. The moment his eyes met mine, the tears began to fall down his face. Seeing him cry made me cry more. He looked so helpless, like a little kid who just got scolded by his mother for eating the last cookie without asking.   
  
Not once did I slow my pace until my body came in contact with his. My face was pressed against his chest between my arms. I guess the force of me running into him was enough to make us fall. His back was against the sand and his strong arms where now wrapped around my slim waist. He didn't push me off of him, he just let me lay on him. Us both crying, not speaking. I listened to the sound of his heart, took in his sent, took in every dip and curve on his chest.   
  
I'm not sure how long we laid on the sand. But after a while, Eren's sobs came to an end. Finally, I gained enough strength to look at him again. His eyes were puffy and focused on the sky.  
  
"Levi?"  
  
Eren's voice caught me by surprise but I didn't let it show. I kept myself together only because I had to, "Yeah?"  
  
"How did you every get over the fact that, your parents were gone? That they weren't going to magically come back to life." I could tell he didn't want to trigger any bad memories. I knew that the shitty people that go to Maria High had an idea of what my life was like. They knew I was an orphan, that I lived with my uncle, that my uncle was filthy rich, that I was suicidal, and that I smoked. I didn't and still don't care if people know about all the shit that goes on in my life. My problems and suffering might teach the shits a few lessons.  
  
But, only Hanji and Erwin knew that I lost my parents before I could really remember anything. I guess I have to add one more person to that list. I let out a small sigh before resting my head on Eren's chest again. "Not a lot of people know this but my parents died when I was still a baby. I don't remember anything about them. I never got close to them. But whenever I asked Kenny what happened to them he never failed to tell me straight up that they were dead and that they would never come back. I would always ask him, over and over again. Just wishing that maybe, just maybe his answer would change. That the whole thing was just some sick joke to make me sad. After a few years I stopped asking. I was Seven when I finally realized everything wasn't a game or a bad joke. I had some troubles, the teachers tried to help but I would just push them away. After a while I just got used to the feeling of being alone. The feeling of that I was at war against the world. Something I wish I had during that time would probably be someone to hold me while I cried, someone who would listen to my tragedies. A supporter of sorts."  
  
Eren is a great listener, he rarely ever cuts me off. He takes in all of the information you give him, kind of like a sponge. Makes him good at keeping up with conversations. He takes everything in and quickly responds. They only problem is that he doesn't think about what he's saying, he doesn't give his words a second thought, just speaks.   
  
"Well, don't you have Hanji and Erwin? They seem like really devoted friends that care about you, weren't they there for you?" His voice was filled with worry and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Eren really could be so naive.  
  
"I didn't meet them until I got into high school. So no, they weren't with me."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry you had to go through that all alone."   
  
The kid was acting like he was the one who sent me to live with my uncle. Again, he could be so naive. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't do anything wrong."  
  
Like always, his reply came at a blink of an eye, "I can still feel sorry."  
  
That comment made me laugh a little. Ignorance is Bliss I guess. Eren was just to pure for this cruel and torturing world. He's like the unicorn that lives in dark part of the forest. He didn't belong here. "Sure. I'm not the one with the problem right now. How are you feeling?"  
  
Maybe it was a bad idea to bring up Mikasa but he had to let out his feelings. If he just bundled them up inside and ignored them, he might just end up just like me. Maybe worse. Hopefully  this didn't turn out badly. "As bad as this may sound, I don't feel so depressed anymore. Yes I'm sad and I feel empty and heartbroken, but some of the pain is gone. I'm still mad at myself that I couldn't do anything to save her. But like you told me before, there was nothing I could do. Her fait was not in my hands, her life wasn't mine to start or stop. If she was going to die, she was going to die loved and she did. I loved her to the end." Eren's voice trailed off.   
  
We both fell into a silence. The only sound around us was the waves crashing against the sand. For the first time since I got on the beach I noticed where we were. We were maybe 20 feet away from the shore line. The sun was fully set and the sky was clear with a few stars already out. Reluctantly I sat up, my face wasn't close to his chest and I was straddling him. Eren propped himself on his elbows and it felt like we were having some type of foreplay. Most likely, no I was blushing. Eren gave me a confused look that was almost to cute to stand. How I didn't cup his face and kiss him right there, I will never know.  
  
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable Levi. I know that you didn't know your parents well but still, me talking about Mikasa must trigger some type of bad memories." He had this tender look on his face and once again I had to force myself not to kiss him.  
  
But I couldn't keep myself from having some type of personal contact with him. I cupped his face and brought my own close to his, almost to the point where our foreheads were touching. This was a very bad idea but I couldn't stop, I couldn't keep my fucking gay ass hands off of him. He was just to beautiful and amazing. What made this idea 10x worse is that I spoke, "Eren, I try not to live in the past to much. Most of the time I focus on the present. So, you can tell me all of your tragedies and I'll try to help. That's what friends are for."  
  
To my surprise Eren didn't push me away, he held me in place. His arms were wrapped around me. As cliche as it might seem, it felt so completely right. It didn't matter that I was a fucked up shorty and that his girlfriend literally just died, it felt so right. Thoughts of kissing him were rushing through my mind and his lips were just inches away from mine. Maybe if his girlfriend didn't just die then I wouldn't feel bad about thinking about kissing him.   
  
Both of us didn't even try to pull away. Our noses were touching and we were just a few seconds away from kissing. There was so much tension and I wanted to release it, I needed to release it. If I kissed him then there is a chance that we will be super awkward about it later and if I didn't kiss him then still things might become super awkward between us.   
  
Every second, we just got closer and closer together. If we kissed, we would have kissed each other, right?  
  
I couldn't help it anymore, I needed to kiss him.  
  
Without another thought I gently pushed his lips to mind in a small tender kiss. His lips were so soft and I didn't want to pull away, but I was feeling guilty. I kept my eyes closed not wanting to see the face Eren might have been making.   
  
So many thoughts were racing through my head when every thought was stopped by a pair of lips on my own, stopped by hands bringing me closer to a warm and beautifully toned body. I was pulled into a heated and passionate kiss and in no way I was complaining. Eren licked my bottom lip asking for entrance and I didn't waste a second giving it to him. His tongue explored my whole mouth and fondled my own tongue.  
  
I threaded my fingers in his long chocolate locks. The kiss didn't light up one bit. It was intense and heated and I fucking enjoying myself and so was Eren. His hands moved from the small of my back to my ass. He started to roughly massage my ass making me groan into his mouth. This whole thing was so fucking heated and I was to caught up sucking on Eren's face to really care. I was getting hard and honestly it felt like we about to have sex on the beach.  
  
Air was quickly becoming a problem and I could tell Eren was feeling just as air deprived as I was. I pulled away, resting my forehead on his, "Eren, th-this isn't right."  
  
As much as I wanted to hook up with Eren, I didn't want to be a rebound. Eren caught onto my worries and pulled his lips into a tight line, "Your right, I'm sorry. I really don't know why I did that."  
  
"I don't know why I did that either."   
What a lie. I knew exactly why I kissed him back. But I didn't know why Eren kissed me. Was it the pain? The feeling of being alone? I don't know... "We should both get home. I'm sure your parents are worried about you and I have to get some things done."  
  
Eren pulled his lips into a tight line, both of us were conflicted, confused, scared. I really doubted that Eren knew if he was gay or not and me, I didn't want to just be a rebound. "You're right Levi," with every word, Eren seemed more and more scared. Nothing in this world was easy.  
  
I nodded my head and began to stand up. Everything was so confusing. Feelings, actions, thoughts, everything. Eren was honestly the only thing I really wanted. Sure I might die young but I just wanted to be loved at least once in my life by someone. But, in this world, that was just to much to really ask for.  
  
Once we were both standing up, the tension just got well, even more intense. Tonight was filled with so many mistakes, so what will one more really do. Hopefully not a lot. I gently cupped his face and pulled him to my level. Our mouths instantly connected in a soft and tender kiss. No tongue, just feeling. The kiss was done to soon but I couldn't keep going on like this. I wanted Eren to love me for me, not because I was the only person around when he was lonely.  
  
The kiss was done so I let him go and walked away. Without my control, tears were slowly building up and falling down my face. I hated life but I loved him. I hated everything in this shitty world, but I couldn't hate him.  
  
I kept walking, and walking until I finally found myself at Pixis's house. The old man could be overly happy most of the time, but he gave some amazing advice. He wasn't just my editor, he was like my father, he was my father figure. I walked up to the ivy cover door taking a deep breath before knocking on the door. I didn't have to wait very long before the door swung open relieving a super red nosed Pixis. He must have noticed the tear stains on my face because he pulled me into his house, leading me to the nearest couch.  
  
We both sat down, turned to face each other. "What's wrong Levi? What happened?"  
  
Pixis's voice was filled with worry, I don't blame him. It was late at night and I came to his house with puffy eyes and tear stains all over my face. I was a total mess and it surprises me that he hasn't given up on me yet. "We kiss, Eren and I kissed," I was a stuttering mess.  
  
"Now why is that making you cry. You always talk about how you want to kiss him and now you have but you're crying."   
  
"I felt like a rebound. He just lost his girlfriend before we met up and it felt wrong but yet right. Pixis I''m so confused. I don't even know if he likes me more than a friend. I don't know if he's even gay. Maybe he is but just don't know it. I'm so scared and confused." I knew I was rambling, I always ramble when I'm scared. It's a bad habit, like getting drunk with anyone other than Pixis or Hanji.  
  
"Oh Levi. You have a lot to learn about feelings."  
  
"What the fuck does that mean?"  
  
"Rebounds can be powered by real emotion. The reason why so many don't work out if because one person is in denial about it. Eren might be in denial but if you just give him time to work out his feelings, things between you will get very real. You know you love him, he doesn't know anything. Let him learn a few things about himself and then I bet my favorite whiskey that he will come running to you."  
  
Pixis seemed so confident. Betting his favorite whiskey was like to someone else, betting their life. "How can you be so confident?"  
  
He let out a sigh before replying, "You know yesterday how Eren came here to pick up your vodka?" I simply nodded not trusting myself not to say anything stupid. "Well, in that short amount of time I learned a few very important things. One, that he's fairly polite and that he care about you more than Hanji."  
  
He must have been messing with me, no way. I gave him a confused look. Barely anything that came out of his mouth made any real sense. "How did you figure that out Dot?"  
  
"Well a few things helped me. First was the fact that he didn't act scared, more worried and concerned about you. Second, when I said that you were special there was a glimmer in his eyes." What Pixis was saying felt like he was shitting with me, trying to teach me a lesson or some shit. But I didn't interrupt him, that wasn't my style. "Third, he promised to keep you happy. Hanji only promised to protect your heart and you. He truly promised, with determination, as if it was his main goal in life to make sure that nothing ever bad happened to you, that you had to stay happy. Only someone who truly loves you would promise that. Some people wait till they get married, but he didn't think twice, to make sure you were happy was his goal from the beginning. That's how I know."  
  
Again, I gave him a confused look, "You're not fucking with me right?"  
  
Pixis let out his famous hearty laugh before grabbing both of my hand in his own, "Levi you are practically my child. I want the best for you so to answer your question, no. I'm not fucking with you."  
  
"You're a good man Dot, you know that right?"  
  
He placed one of his hands on my cheek before answering, "How can I forget when you always tell me. You can crash here tonight if you like son. I have to get up early tomorrow so I'm heading to bed." Pixis placed a soft kiss on my forehead before removing his hand from my face. He stood up and began to walk to the stair way before stopping to turn back at me, "Oh and Levi." He waited till I looked at him to continue, "Don't ever give up on Eren, he will come around. I'm sure of it."   
  
Without a second thought, Pixis was up the stairs and I was left alone in a cluttered room. For some reason the books and papers didn't bother me. There wasn't a build up of dust and nothing was ever lost. Dot knew exactly where everything was, I admired that about him.  
  
I knew if I stayed the night I wouldn't go back to my house for a week so I stood up and headed home. Pixis's house wasn't very far away from my house, thank god. It made it useful to drop off my chapters of Eternity.   
  
Before I knew it, I was walking up to the door of my house and upstairs to my room. It was dark and I didn't bother turning on the light, it wasn't worth it. Tomorrow was Saturday which meant I didn't have to do anything. I had already finished chapter 27 of Eternity and the next chapter isn't due for another four weeks. For the first time in a while I would be able to relax.  
  
Slowly my eye lids became heavier and soon I was in a soft slumber. My clothes would be so wrinkled when I woke up but that didn't matter. Today was to confusing and scary for me to care about anything. Well anything other than the Prince I was completely head over heels in love with.  
  
I'll wait a million years for you Eren Yeager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren! Levi! Papa Pixis!
> 
> I just can't anymore, they will be the death of me. But I'm so in love with Pixis, he's one of my favorite characters in the anime and manga! Plus, I needed Levi to have a father figure and I loved the idea of having a Papa Pixis AU!
> 
> Well, I'm going to have a feels breakdown
> 
> Thank you for reading Lovelies! Reviews and/or Feedback is greatly appreciated! <3  
> Until the next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Am I Gay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Another chapter! 
> 
> Personally I like the plot and I love our little friend Armin but to me it felt rushed. I'm sorry if you feel that way as well. 
> 
> Also, Happy Late Birthday to my man Jean! He's not in this chapter but his house is!
> 
> Well, Enjoy reading the chapter Lovelies

-Eren's POV-  
  
  
  
What was I even thinking...  
I mean, kissing Levi. For fucks sake! Mikasa is dead and I'm making out with Levi! I should be mourning, I should be with my parents, I shouldn't be kissing anyone. Let alone a guy. I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not fucking gay!   
  
So... Why did it feel right, why do I keep acting so affectionate towards him, why am I acting gay?  
  
I'm so confused, I've never been so confused and conflicted before. Never, never in my whole 18 years of fucking living has anything like this happen. I've never witnessed death before now, I've never been conflicted about my feelings before now.  
  
I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't even notice that I was crying. I was on my knees, balling into my hands. Nothing was making any sense. I needed someone to explain everything, someone other than Levi. I needed to go to Armin.  
  
Without a second thought, I pulled out my phone and dialed Armin's number. Three rings in and I hear the blonds voice on the other end. "Hello?"  
  
"Armin, we need to talk. I'm so confused right now I need you."  
  
"Eren, you just lost the love of your life, it's normal to be grieving. It's going to take a lot of time to get over her death, but I'm-" I couldn't listen to him go on about Mikasa. This wasn't about her, and he might hate me when he finds out what I did today. But, if he's really my friend, he'll understand.  
  
"Dude, this isn't about Mikasa," Armin didn't give me the chance to explain. For once, he was being demanding.  
  
"If this isn't about Mikasa, then what are you going on about? What's going on that's worse than losing the love of your life?"  
  
Armin, please don't hate me. "I don't think she was the love of my life, Armin, I kissed Levi. I fucking kissed him, no I had a god damn make out session with him. Ass rubbing and grinding. Fuck Armin it was god damn foreplay. I'm scared man. I'm not gay but dude, it felt right and I'm really questioning if Mikasa was the love of my life. I mean, I loved her, I loved her with all of my heart but being with Levi felt so damn right."  
  
He was silent, not a single word. Did he hate me? "I'm at Jean's house right now, get your ass over here." The cursing caught me by surprise. I made a small noise of agreement before hanging up. He was pissed at me. I didn't hesitate, once my phone was pocketed I started running to the Horse's house.  
  
10 minutes later, I was panting and the door step of Jean's house. His parent's were rich and his house was about twice the size of mine and my dad was a famous doctor. I knocked on the door, still trying to catch my breath. It took a while before someone showed up to open the door. To my surprise, it was a drunken Reiner a bear can in one hand and the other on the door, "Yo, Jeager Meister! You're late to the grieving party, come in, come in." He moved out of the way so I could walk in.  
  
They were having a grieving party, a fucking party. I pushed past the bulky blond and started to search for Armin. Damn Jean and his big ass house. After a while with no luck of finding him I slumped on the wall. Today was not going my way.  
  
There was a sigh of relief before a voice, "There you are." I looked up to see my little blond friend. Armin was wearing a white button up shirt and his long blond locks were tied back into a ponytail. He was holding a glass of something, and for my mental and emotional health I really hoped it was some type of alcohol. "I brought you some whiskey," he held out the glass for me to grab. This boy was an angel.  
  
"Thank you," my voice was hoarse as I reached out for the glass. Armin sat down next to me not saying a word. What could you even say, "Are you sure you aren't gay?" "Are you a fucking idiot?" "What were you even thinking?"  
  
"I guess we all grieve in different ways. I understand why you did it. He's a lot like Mikasa, strong, independent, protective. He's all the qualities of Mikasa but just with a penis." Armin was an angel, he understood, he explains everything, he's a fucking angel and I love him. But I couldn't say anything, I was to scared. I took a sip of my drink before staring at the cup's contents. Armin took my silence as a sign to keep talking, "I know you must be so confused right now, and so am I. Sure, logically everything makes sense but emotionally I think there is something missing. Did you ever have feelings about Levi before Mikasa passed?"  
  
I let out a soft sigh before speaking, "Yeah I guess, I really cared about him, I would defend him. He was just easy to be around even from the first time that we talked to each other. I can touch him and he leans into the touch. We're able to tell each other jokes about Horse Face. Levi was there, he's caring, passionate, and just to damn good for this world."  
  
My voice trailed off as more thoughts of Levi invaded my mind. His soft hair, his beautiful eyes, his small figure. You can always tell when it's him. He's just so adorable and beautiful. Like how can a guy be that damn beautiful, it's not fair. He's so feminine but yet he's strong and masculine. Sure he doesn't seem to have a lot of muscle on him but I'm sure under all those baggy clothes he has some amazing abs. "Eren, Eren? You still there?"  
  
I blinked a couple of times bringing myself back to reality. Armin was smirking and I was getting this feeling in my stomach that something bad was going to happen. "Are you sure you're not gay for Levi Eren?"  
  
"I'm positive that I'm straight," the conversation that I had with Hanji was happening all over again. I wasn't gay, I just appreciated Levi.  
  
"From what you just told me, I think you're at least a little gay." I gave the small blond a confused look, signaling him to keep speaking. "His beautiful eyes, how strong he is, how he's to beautiful to be a man. This ringing any bells? Or am I hearing things."  
  
It took me a moment to figure out how Armin knew my thoughts, but when I figured it out it was like getting hit by a truck. I had said my little day dream out loud for all to hear! Nothing was going my way lately. Sure that sounds selfish but I don't make mistakes like that, I don't zone out and day dream. I focus on what's really important. Becoming a doctor and starting a happy family with the person that I love. I titled my head back so that it was touching that wall. Something was really wrong with me at this point. "You weren't supposed to hear that."  
  
Armin let out his girlish giggle, I was embarrassed and he was laughing at me. Yep, and I called him an angel. "It's okay, but I'm glad I did hear that because it helps. You loved Mika, we all know you did and that this is a rough time for you. But Levi is Mikasa, but just in guy form. It's okay that you are attracted him."  
  
"No, it's not okay because one I'm not gay and two my girlfriend just died. I should be grieving, helping my parents with the funeral plans, not hooking up with a guy!" I was furious at this point, and I couldn't stop, "You shouldn't be telling me that this is okay, you should be saying that I did something horrible, that I'm a terrible person.  For a few things too, making out with someone other than my girlfriend on the day of her fucking death and using Levi like a rebound. I'm not that type of guy."  
  
"Eren, Levi wasn't a rebound. You had feelings for him before Mika passed. You don't have to keep beating yourself up."  
  
"But I have to, I practically cheated on her!"  
  
I was freaking out on Armin. He didn't deserve it but I couldn't stop myself. Every bit of sense was gone. I didn't know what I was doing and Armin was getting yelled at because of me. I was yelling at my best friend, making him making feel bad with all of my confusion and terror.   
  
"Eren, could you just calm down! I can't I can't help you if you keep yelling at me. I know this makes no sense to you, but you are a very strong minded person and I know you can work this out. You've been able to do everything you've ever set your mind to. You've gotten into The University of Sina with a full scholarship , one of the top colleges in the whole country. It has the best pre med program and you are going in Sina's top medical program to get your PHD and then you're off to Trost City Hospital to work. Eren your life is planned out, you don't need to think about anything other than keeping your social life and love life in place. You're my best friend and I'm going to help you." I couldn't speak to Armin, I was to scared so I let him keep talking. "You like Levi, sure he's a guy but like you said he can be feminine. They are practically the same, so I don't blame. Tell Levi that you care about him and that he wasn't a rebound. I don't care when you do it, just as long as you do it. You don't owe it to me, you owe it to him. But before you do, go home, take some time to think things out. If you need anything just call me."  
  
I let out a small noise of agreement before both of us stood up. Armin was right, in his own devil angel blond way. I had my life planned out, all for one part. I didn't have someone to spend the rest of my life with, but I don't think that it's going to stay like that for long. Everything needed to settle down. Both of us walked out of the maze that Jean called a home. He opened the front door for me, "Are you going to be okay?"  
  
"Yeah I think so," I turned around to see him. "Like you said, I need to think some things out. I'll see you at Mika's service."  
  
"Yea, see you then Eren," his voice was soft and concerning.  
  
"Later Ar," I couldn't keep talking to people, I needed time to myself. On Sunday, I would be at Mikasa's service. Then on Monday morning Mikasa would be buried. Monday afternoon would be the school service.   
  
Slowly I walked back to my house. The city of Trost was a beautiful place, glorious shore line, friendly people, education isn't shitty, the whole environment was very family like. I want to stay here, it's better than my old home. I love it here in this city. Time was going by quickly, before I knew it I was walking up to my door step, opening the door, and silently walked up to my room.   
  
Inside my room the air was cool, almost as if there was a breeze. I took off my beige jacket and laid it on my computer chair. I removed my shoes at the end of my double bed. My room hasn't been anything special since I turned 13. I had orange walls, creme carpet, a double bed with grey sheets and covers, a black glass corner desk, a mini fridge in my closet, and some shelves to hold my books. Everyone thinks I'm this creative person, but I'm really not. My room says it all.  
  
The only thing special about me was that I'm able to do some logically amazing things. Everything else was normal about me.  
  
Unlike me, today was everything but normal. My body needed sleep and I wasn't going to fight it.   
  
Once I had everything figured out then I would apologize to Levi. He's my friend and he shouldn't feel like a rebound. I'm not sure if my future lies with him but I still want him in my life. He's caring and gives some of the best advice. He understands the pain of others and he's very humble about his own. Maybe I was in love with Levi, but maybe I just loved him the way that I loved Armin. What if I just loved him as family.   
  
Today had been so confusing and into the night it still was. I still wasn't sure if I was gay or not, but that would be figured out over time. I couldn't rush things, I have to think rationally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Eren is still in Denial but at least it's not as bad. Right? Even if not we got to see the the softer and more self conscious side to Eren. Got to see some more pain that is in Eren's life.
> 
> Well hopefully the next chapter (which will be back to Levi's POV) won't be so bad. I haven't decided if I will have the service in the next chapter or not so you will just have to wait and see!
> 
> I hope you lovelies enjoyed the chapter  
> Comments/reviews and/or feedback is greatly appreciated


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Human nature will never change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! A new chapter! I really enjoy this chapter because Levi and Hanji are my top brotp. They are such an amazing pair but them as a couple is... meh.
> 
> Also, I lovly person commented about Eren's schooling. And I'm very glad they did. I messed up a little about describing Eren's college programs. I will fix that in later chapters and go more in depth about how Eren is going to become a doctor!
> 
> Well, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! I feel like I changed Levi's personality in this chapter. I'm sorry if you notice that too! I'll try not to do that again!

Even though I was able to sleep, that didn't mean I was able to sleep for long. When I woke up my room was pitch black. I felt disgusting and I bet my closes were a complete mess. Yesterday's drama was still lingering. I was feeling bad about the whole thing, kissing Eren. Right now I felt like I took advantage of him. He was feeling lonely and I kissed him.   
  
How could I feel one way about the kiss and then the next day I feel so different about it.  
  
Once again everything was becoming confusing all over again.   
  
Slowly I slid off my bed and lazily walked over to my desk. Almost as if on command, I opened up my journal that was sitting on my desk and powered on my laptop. I wasn't going to waist my time sitting around doing nothing. I pulled up a new word document and started typing.  
  
  
 _Wishing for better,_  
 _Hoping for something great,_  
 _A dream that will never come true_  
  
 _Having a faith can be a very dangerous thing,_  
 _Hope is an unknown,_  
 _Dreams are for the people living in lies_  
  
 _Being original can bring pain,_  
 _Having something to fall back on never goes as planed._  
  
  
  
  
I don't know why I even try to write poems. They never turn out well and when they do they always become depressing. I closed the file and closed my computer. Nothing was working to get my mind off of anything. I let out a soft sigh before standing up and walking to the upstairs bathroom. It wasn't anything special, shower, toilet, sink, mirror. There wasn't even a picture up. It wasn't worth the effort of keeping the frame clean of dust.   
  
I began to strip myself of my clothes in front of the mirror. My pale skin blended in with the pale walls of the bathroom. Once there was no article of clothing left on my body and my clothes were neatly folded and on the sink counter. I didn't have a lot of muscle on me but for some reason I had a pretty defined V-Line. My dick was average size I guess. I didn't have broad shoulders which I was very happy for. I'm short and lanky, add broad shoulders and I would look like an even bigger freak. My raven black hair was a mess. I ran my fingers through my mane. Said mane was getting fairly long, the longest locks were able to touch the back of my neck. I would have to get it cut today.  
  
I needed to change a few thing. I hadn't changed my appearance since I was maybe 11. The memories of my younger years aren't something I need to relive every time I look into the mirror. A new hair cut, new clothes, maybe some piercing. I would still be Levi, the depressed writer but I wouldn't have to have a constant reminder of my past. I'm 18 fucking years old, I'm graduating in less than a month, and then I'm going to focus on my writing. Nothing special.  
  
Normally I would never plan so far ahead, but writing for the rest of my life gives a lot of leeway. I let out a small sigh before turning around to face the shower. I stepped inside, closing the door behind me. All of my soaps were organized on the shelve. Sweet organization. I turned on the water, adjusting it as needed.  
  
  
Kenny hadn't been home in four months or something like that so I didn't even bother being careful about entering his room. It was so empty, just a bed and a dresser. My thoughts about him moving into another house were just getting stronger. I walked over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. On top of plain t-shirts and boxers was a wallet. The wallet of seven debit and credit cards. Kenny always kept "emergency" money.  
  
I grabbed the wallet, closed the drawer, and walked back to my room. Once I got my bag packed with my cigarettes, lighter, pens, journal, phone charger, and keys my phone just magically starts ringing a terrible ring tone I hate to hear. Lady Gaga's Bad Romance was playing telling me that shitty glasses was calling me. I grunted before answering the phone, "What do you want four eyes?"  
  
"Oh my god you picked up on the first call!" Hanji was practically screaming in my ear.  
  
"Yeah, you changed your ringtone to fucking Bad Romance and you know I hate that song."  
  
The damn glasses laughed straight into the mic forcing me to remove my phone from my ear. "I forgot I did that. It's pretty funny right?" How the fuck could she be so happy?  
  
"Yeah sure, but why did you call me?" I asked not wanting to deal with her shit right now.  
  
"Oh right, well. I went to Pixis's house and he told me about your little foreplay episode with Eren." Hanji's voice was so smug and I was pissed and shocked at the same time. "We have to talk about it! I want to know all the details, no I don't want to, I need to Levi. I need this information."  
  
I pinched my temples already getting a headache from her yelling. "Fine, whatever. I'm heading out now to do some shopping we can just meet at Rose Mall."  
  
"Sure!! I'll be there in less than 10 minutes. You better hurry your little ass my darling!" After Hanji's squeals of agreement she hung up. At least now I wouldn't have to carry anything home, the shitty glasses could just drive me home. Made me think why I haven't bought a car. I had the money, well Kenny had the money.  
  
Quickly I grabbed my bag, pocketed my phone, and started my walk to Rose Mall.   
  
  
The walk normally takes seven to ten minutes but I really didn't want to talk to Hanji about this. I didn't want to talk to anyone about this. Talking about my feelings really wasn't my style. It never has been. Maybe that's the reason why I didn't want to make friends or be social.  
  
After 16 minutes or so I made it to the mall. I took in a deep breath before entering the JCPenny's. Almost as his she had a tracker on me I was attacked by a being most likely Hanji. Her brown locks in my face and in a messy pony tail like normal. Finally Hanji released me but didn't remove her hands from my shoulders. At this point I really didn't care, she was already going to investigate my whole personal life so what was the point.   
  
When I finally stopped avoiding her stares I noticed she had different glasses. Instead of her normal black rectangle glasses, she was wearing some secretary style glasses. They were still black but they were better on her face. I liked the new glasses.  
  
"Awww, my baby looks so love struck."  
  
I rolled my eyes at her before sneaking out of her grasp, "Whatever four eyes. Oh and Fuck you for changing your glasses to something that actually makes you look decent, I can't call you shitty glasses anymore." A smirk snuck onto my face.  
  
"Oh you noticed! I'm very impressed, and we both know you'll still call me "shitty glasses". It's stuck since the first time we met. Such memories!" Hanji held both of her hands over her heart pretending to look head over heals in love. But she wasn't wrong, I would still call her shitty glasses.  
  
"Tch, you might as well make yourself useful and help me pick out some new clothes."   
  
"Yes! We need to get you out of those baggy clothes." Hanji placed her hand on her hip trying to act sassy.  
  
I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her and copy her pose. But, just the Levi style. I cocked out my hip and left my other arm dangling beside me. My feet were perfectly parallel and my shoulders width apart. "And, what exactly is wrong with my baggy clothes? hmm."  
  
Hanji pointed at me before speaking, well more like yelling, "That! That's what's wrong! You have this amazing body that you never show off! Do you know how jealous some girls are of you?"  
  
"Tch, I don't know because I don't care. I like my baggy clothes."  
  
"Maybe, but you only go shopping when you're having a hard time or you need new soaps or cleaning supplies. You want a fresh start. Makes sense you've been wearing practically the same clothes for years now." She tagged on a little giggle at the end of her statement.  
  
"Whatever. If you think you know what I want then pick out some clothes. I'll be in the dressing room closest to the men's section."  
  
I began walking before I was interrupted by Hanji, "Don't you mean the little boys section?"  
  
My eye brow twitched as I clicked my tongue and kept walking towards the dressing rooms. Hanji could be a pain in the ass 90% of the time, but I know she wants the best for me. She's like a sister to me and I honestly can't thank her enough for putting up with my shit these past four years. Even if she was only my friend out of pity, she made it feel like a real friendship. The teasing, the jokes, complaining about each other to our faces and then saying nice things about them behind their backs. I'm glad she's been watching over my short ass.  
  
I waited in the dressing room, ready to try on anything Hanji gave me. She was taking a while so I decided to look through my emails. I didn't like if I had a lot of emails unread or in my inbox. Everything has to be organized or it would bother me. I deleted the junk mail and moved the non junk to their correct folders. Several from Pixis about the chapter, some from the news paper telling me that my subscription was going to run out soon, and then all the junk adds.  
  
Hanji had perfect timing today, once I was done with my email a large amount of clothes were thrown over the door to my dressing room. Most of them black, some white, and some dark colors. Shitty glasses did okay on colors. "I'm sure you can pick out outfits for yourself." I took the clothes from her and separated them by tops and bottoms.  
  
Going through the clothes I settled on a pair of black skinny jeans and a dark green button up shirt. The jeans looked a lot tighter than they felt. I inspected myself before opening the door to show Hanji. Her eye lighted up when she saw me, how she thought I was good looking was beyond me. "Oh my fucking god! Your ass looks amazing!" Her voice was overly passionate and I wouldn't doubt it if she scared the other people in the dressing rooms. I let the smile that was creeping up on my face show. "Levi, you look so amazing! Wait, Wait here I'm going to go get a hat!"   
  
Before I could stop her she was running out of the dressing rooms. Hanji was something else, her and Pixis were always watching out for me. Why I don't really know. Not long after Hanji ran out she returned with three Pedoras, one black, one grey, and one white. Hanji didn't hand me the pedoras but instead put each one on my head examining how it looked. She ended up tossing the grey one and switched between the black and white pedoras. "Hmmm, the black looks better with the black pants but I'm sure if you had white pants the white hat would look amazing."  
  
"Didn't you pick out a pair of white pants?"  
  
"I did!" Hanji spun me around and pushed me back into the dressing room. "Find them and try them on."  
  
I didn't try to fight her, I stripped myself of the black pants and started searching for the white pair. The jeans were all the way in the back, just my luck. I grabbed them and put them on before Hanji broke down the door. Once everything was in it's place I opened the door. "Okay, I have the white -" I didn't have time to finish my sentence before Hanji put the hat on my head.  
  
"Perfect!"  
  
"Why do you always sound enthusiastic?" I asked after crossing my arms over my chest and leaned on the frame of the door.  
  
"Because I don't like to be a grumpy shorty," she gave me a smug smile. Hanji was one to fuck around with me and she knew how to do it where I wouldn't hurt her.  
  
"Tch, I'll take both hats, I'm sure they'll work with more than these two outfits." I took the pedora off my head and gave it back to Hanji. The smile on her face didn't fade a bit. I could only roll my eyes at her before retreating back into the dressing room.   
  
I don't know how long we spent having a fashion show of different outfits. Maybe two or three hours of trying on countless numbers of clothes. I didn't really care it was saturday and the mall was open until 8pm. At the end of the little fashion show I had picked out 14 new outfits, and that was just if I didn't reuse any article of clothing. With the amount of clothing I bought I maybe had over 30 outfits. The final price was $634.34 and the only thought that was going through my mind was, it could have been a lot worse. I paid and Hanji help carry the bags back to her car. We weren't ready to leave the mall yet but neither of us wanted to walk around with giant bags.  
  
We dropped off the bags and headed back inside. I let Hanji lead me through the mall. My guess is that she was hungry because we ended up at this Chinese food place. I waited at  
one of the tables in the hole in the wall dinning center. It didn't take long before the four eyes came back with two white boxes and bottles of water. She placed one of the boxes in front of me, "Orange chicken, white rice, and vegetables." Her voice was a little to calm for my liking.   
  
"So, we have part of your shopping done we can talk about your little affair with Eren."  
  
I knew it. There was no avoiding it by now. Hanji was persistent when it came to my personal life, always has been. I mean, the first thing she every asked me was about my sexuality. I opened up the box of food, "What really is there to talk about. We kissed, I stopped because I felt like a rebound, and now we're here." I took my chopsticks in my hand and started eating the food Hanji brought for me.  
  
She rested her chin on the palm of her hands, just looking at me with a face I couldn't put into words. It was what I had been calling for two years now, The Shitty Glasses is going to educate me look. I really sucked at coming up with clever names for things. I gave her a confused look. "It was not just a kiss. It was a connection between the two of you. He realized that he had feelings for you and you got to show him how you felt about him. He might know it yet but he loves you, but trust me shorty he loves you."  
  
"And how would you know that?"  
  
"I've seen the way he looks at you. He's so in love with you."  
  
"Yeah he also looked at Mikasa in a caring and loving way. He also looks at all his friends in a caring way. What makes me so different?"  
  
Hanji stopped eating her food and her normal passionate face was replaced with a face of complete shock, "You have to be kidding me!"  
  
"What?" She wasn't making any sense. Eren never looked at me any differently than anyone else.   
  
"He looks at you so differently than anyone else! He lights up when he talks about you or even looks at you. His eyes get softer when he looks at you. Eren speaks about you so highly. When you didn't show up at school I noticed a difference in his behavior. He had this sense of constant worry. Also, he didn't talk to anyone but you when Mikasa was first admitted. Eren opened up to you right away, no questions asked. You want to know why, because he loves you. He thought that Mikasa was the one for him because she was everything he was looking for. But you are more than Mikasa. You have the wisdom that Eren needs to continue on in life. Mikasa was caring sure but she wasn't the one for Eren. He didn't think that he was ever attracted to guys so he went to Mikasa instead of you. But I bet my womanhood that if Eren was open about being attracted to a guy then he would have dated you in an instant." I just picked at my food, occasionally taking a bite of food. I didn't know what to say, I never did know what to say. "He has to be going through a lot of emotions right now. Everyone goes through the motions when they try to figure out what their sexuality is. I mean like, figuring out you were born the wrong sex is one thing but figuring out that you are attracted the same sex after living 18 years believing you were straight. It's going to take some time for him to come to terms with it. Not everyone is like you and can just adjust to things quickly."  
  
I didn't want to believe what Hanji was saying was true. I knew that if Eren was attracted to me it's going to take some time for him to come to term with it. I wanted Eren to like me, I wanted what Hanji was saying to be true but at the same time I didn't. Everything had become so conflicting, I used to know what I wanted. I wanted to have Eren love me, I wanted to be a successful author. Now I'm not really sure if I want to make any big choices anymore.  
  
"You might be right, but I'm not what Eren wants. He wants a family of his own. I can't give him that. I love him and I think I always will but I don't want my heart broken anymore than it already is. I'm not all that hungry, and I need to do some more shopping. I need a tuxedo for the service and funeral and I need to get some new jewelry."  
  
Hanji knew not to push me, I had made up my mind and gone through enough. We finished up lunch and walked to the suit shop that was located in the mall. Arriving at the store we were greeted by a small blonde with vibrant dark green eyes. "How may I help you two?" Her voice was soft and sweet.  
  
"I need a suit for a funeral," my voice was calm and simple.   
  
The small blonde gave me a polite smile before replying with a simple, "All right then, come this way." She lead us to the back of the store to the dressing rooms. The small girl unlocked one of the dressing rooms for me to use. "Any specific requests for the suit. Colors, designers, anything?"  
  
"Actually yeah, a full black suit and no tie, I would prefer a cravat."  
  
"Sure thing," the assistant left with a smile.  
  
"A cravat, that different." Hanji gave me a smug look as I rolled my eyes, retreating into the dressing room to wait. "If you don't mind me asking, why a cravat?"  
  
I let out a soft sigh as I took off my over sized jacket. Hanji is way suborner than I am so why fight. I didn't have the effort to fight. "My father wore cravats over ties. He was french and always tried to be different. He was well off and could spend the money to be different."  
  
"Ahhhhh, but I thought that you were changing your look because you wanted to forget the pain of your past?"  
  
Damn Hanji, she can't stop once she starts getting answers. "I don't want to forget them. I want to forget the pain, I don't want to forget my parents. Sure my mother was a whore but she stopped being one when I was conceived me. They wanted the best for me when I was young. Sure if they knew me now then they might be completely ashamed of me but I can't be mad at them. It's to much work. Being angry at someone is a lot of effort and I barely have enough effort to wake up in the morning. How am I supposed to stay angry at someone."  
  
We both stopped talking about it. Our silence was broken by a small knock on my dressing room door. The blonde had four suits with her and a serious look on her small face. She hung up the suits on the wall. "Okay, I picked out four suits for you to choose from. All four are black as you can see, but one has silver bordering on the cuffs, one has a blue interior, one is all black with shoulder pads, and the last one is just a simple black suit. Oh and I picked out a crisp white cravat and a creme one."  
  
The assistant held out the two cravats for me to choice from, "I don't like the shoulder pads or the silver accents. I'll try on the suit with the blue interior with the pure white cravat. I don't like the creme." I'm a picky short ass.  
  
"Okay," she moved the two suits I discarded onto the same hook. She also tucked the creme cravat in the pocket of one of the suits. "Do you want me to help you or do you want to put everything on yourself?" The girl was to much, she was polite and beautiful.   
  
"I can do this on my own, you might want to keep my friend busy."  
  
"Sure thing sir," the blonde then handed me my cravat of choice before leaving my dressing room.  
  
I put on the suit and it was a perfect fit. This worker was very good at her job. She knew my measurements and picked out the best suit I could have asked for. It was conformable and the  cravat was silky. I put the cravat on, inspecting myself before leaving the dressing room. "This one is nice," my voice caught both of the female's attention. Their faces were shocked and I was really starting to believe I knew nothing about people. I rolled my eyes at them.  
  
"You look so dashing!" They stated at the same time.  
  
  
Hanji and I paid for my suit and started to walk back towards the JCPs until I started being pulled by Hanji towards the Victoria Secret. "What are you doing shitty glasses?" She pulled me all the way into the store and to the panty and thigh highs. I crossed my arms over my chest.  
  
"What's your underwear size?" She picked up a pair and then another.  
  
I let out a soft sigh, "Four."  
  
She kept searching for underwear, and I wasn't going to fight her about buying me lacy panties. It's not like I needed to wear them, she couldn't force me too. I just stood there waiting for her to finish doing shit. It didn't take long for her to finish picking out panties and thigh highs. Hanji had her own kinks and I would never understand them. "Why did you even buy those?" I asked while pointing at the pink Victoria Secret bag.  
  
"All straight guys love this stuff, and some gay guys." She gave me a wink before walking out of the store. I grunted before jogging after her.  
  
"You're never going to get me to wear those."  
  
"I'm not going to let you wear them with unshaved legs."  
  
"What?" Instead of an answer a got an outburst of laughter from the damn glasses. If she really thought she was going to get me in the garments that were in that bag she had another thing coming. I would shave my legs but I would not put on fucking female shitty panties. Hell no.  
  
"I'm sure Eren would love to see you in thigh highs and lace underwear." Oh, she was playing dirty. "I propose a deal," I gave her a glance telling her to continue. "If you hook up with Eren and he wants to be your partner, then the next time you guys have sex you have to wear the things I bought."  
  
I knew I shouldn't say yes to the deal but it was tempting. Oh so tempting. "You're on shit glasses," they were just stupid female garments.  
  
The deal was something I probably shouldn't had said yes to, but I only had to wear them once, and Hanji might be right about Eren liking this kind of stuff. Hanji didn't surprise me with any other stops or deals after that. She drove me home and helped me bring in all the bags. I wanted to drop everything off now before I got my piercing. Mainly because Hanji and I were going to get shit faced afterwards.   
  
We drove to the local body modification store. Good old Survey Piercing Corp. I wasn't going to get anything dramatic, just one piercing in each ear.  
  
Hanji parked and we both walked towards the small brick building. It might seem like some ghetto place but it was actually high quality. Erwin had been working here for almost three years now and he's never said anything but good things about it. Captain America could be an ass most of the time but he had high standards. I pushed on the door receiving a small jingle from the bell.  
  
There was Erwin reading a magazine behind the counter, "Oi, stop slaking."  
  
My voice caught his attention. He put down the magazine and gave me a smile. I clicked my tongue in return. His hair was perfectly combed back and his shirt was just a little to tight. Okay that's a lie, it was way to tight. His personality is complete shit but he is a fine piece of art. My thoughts were broken my Hanji squealing and running towards her boyfriend. Almost like a magnet their lips connected in a passionate kiss. Erwin's arm was wrapped around Hanji's waist and her hands were cupping his face. It looked so romantic, her sitting on the counter all feminine like. It was to great I could only snarl at the public show of affection.   
  
"How about you stop sucking on her face and pierce mine."  
  
"Sure thing Levi. What type do you want? You want your Septum done, eyebrow maybe, or maybe you're feeling adventurous and want an Earl piercing."  
  
"I just want my first piercing in my ear," I stated my request and the tall beautiful blond began to pull out earring choices. He was good at his job and I only trust him to put holes in my body. I walked up to the counter to pick out which studs I wanted.  
  
"Knowing you, you don't want anything colorful so we have silver, black titanium, and gold diamond studs."  
  
Carefully I inspected the different earrings for a good amount of time. I didn't want to look like a fucking idiot. "I'll do the black titanium."  
  
"Okay, just follow me and we can get started Levi." I nodded and followed Erwin to one of the booths in the back. He wiped down the seat before he told me to sit down. Told you he was good at his job. I sat down in the tan chair, resting my arms on the armrests. Erwin was sitting down next to me, prepping the needle and earring. "Right in the middle of your lobe correct?"  
  
"No, in my dick."  
  
Erwin laughed at my answer before putting on a pair of plastic gloves and pulling out a pen. Carefully he marked on both ears where the hole was going to be. "This is going to hurt a little." The next thing I knew, my ear was stinging. Then my other ear was feeling the same sensation. "Okay, you're all done. You sure You don't want any other piercing? Your dick was mentioned."   
  
There was a smug look on his face. I really wanted to slap him right then and there but he would probably just laugh at me. "I'm sure," I stated before standing up from the chair.  
  
"Hanji you want a new piercing?" I had almost completely forgot about Hanji. She had been so quiet the whole time.  
  
"Hell yeah! I want my smiley!"   
  
I didn't stick around after that. I didn't really want to see that. Survey wasn't that far from my house so I could just walk home. I left some money on the counter before leaving. I'm sure I didn't do that right but I really don't care. It was Erwin and he would fill out any paper work that I might have needed to do.  
  
It was fairly chilly outside, and I realized my bag was back at my house. I picked up my pace so I could get home and to my cigarettes. I wasn't addicted but when I did something, the nicotine was there to back me up. I walked straight up to my room and to my bag. I pulled out my lighter and cigarettes before walking over to the window. Personally, smoke filled rooms aren't very pleasant. I opened up the window before lighting one of my cancer in a sticks.  
  
The nicotine and smoke burned the back of my throat and it was a very welcome feeling. It was better than getting shit faced with Hanji. I was in the comfort of my own room enjoying the chilly wind on my face a the fire in my throat.  
  
Today was fairly successful day. But I wasn't ready to go to Mikasa's service tomorrow. I wasn't ready to face Eren again. Not after everything that had happened. I still wasn't sure if I should spend time trying to get an answer out of him. I thought that I had everything figured out but I really didn't. The only thing I really did was avoid the problem in front of me. Way to go Levi, being a fucking idiot like always.  
  
I finished up my session before retreating to my desk to start writing a new chapter of my failure of a book.  
  
 _Other the years, I've noticed that nothing really has changed with human nature._  
 _We are the same useless animals that can't do much right._  
 _We avoid the real problems because we don't want to come to terms with the truth._  
 _Living in lies, even the best of us._  
  
 _I walked through a soulless town,_  
 _not knowing were to go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanji and Erwin cuteness!  
> I don't like Erwin, I think he should die in the manga and Anime.
> 
> But my Levi stopped being a little shit and went out with his friend! Awww!
> 
> Levi is my baby and I love him. I don't want him to get hurt but he's going to get hurt more! NOOO!
> 
> Anyways, the next chapter is going to be all about Mikasa. There will be some Ereri fluff because I think it is well neeeded!
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments/reviews and/or feedback is greatly appreciated!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god guys! I really conflicted about my feelings towards this chapter. I feel like I messed up and but at the same time I really enjoy the cuteness of this chapter.
> 
> I think that you guys will be happy with the outcome.  
> Also I didn't really pay attention to the service and such because I got lazy sorry! And I wanted cuteness.
> 
> Well, enjoy the chapter!

Eren's POV  
  
  
I woke up naturally on Sunday morning. The sun was barely up in the sky and I knew today wasn't going to be a pleasant day. Why would it, I have to bury my dead girlfriend today. I had to give a speech, I had to watch her get buried six feet under. Life is an evil thing, it tests us in cruel and unnecessary ways. But we have to learn from those tests, and try to understand the world the best we can. I slowly sat up in my bed and stared down at my grey covers. I couldn't spend all day in my room but I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to put in the effort to do anything.  
  
My life was changing and I had no idea what I was going to do. Everything about my life was planned out, down to the smallest detail. I was going to be a great doctor, have a few kids, and live happily in a house with a hug yard with my loving wife. That was the plan. That was the plan until my whole life went on pause.   
  
Nothing was right in this world, not one thing. Nothing was pure and nothing was perfect. Doesn't mean that we can't try to make things perfect. Today was about Mikasa and I was going to make her proud. I was going to go on for Mikasa because she deserves the best even in death. I got out of bed and walked over to my closet. My guess is that it was about Eight in the morning which would give me about an hour and a half to get ready.  
  
I pulled out my suit. It wasn't anything special, just a simple black coat and pants. No tie. I laid down the clothes on my bed. I didn't want to get dressed, I didn't want to go. All I wanted was to sit in bed and mope. But sadly that wasn't an option. I ran my fingers through my hair.  
  
  
I mopped around for who knows how long. I don't doubt that I wold have kept standing there looking at my suit if it wasn't for my mother walking into my room. "Eren hun. Are you getting ready yet?"  
  
"Hmmm," I turned around to look at my mother. Her hair was curled and she was wearing a high cut long sleeve dress that came down to just below her knees. She looked beautiful and classy. Like always. My mother is the perfect mother and wife. I was part of this perfect family that lived a happy amazing life. Home made meals, support, respect. Everything you could ever really want.  
  
"Eren?" I shook my head, coming back to reality, "You spaced out darling."  
  
"Oh sorry mom."  
  
"It's okay dear, we're going to be going in 30 minutes. I want to get there early so I can help Mikasa's grandparents set everything up."  
  
"Okay mother," she gave me a small smile before leaving my room. I looked back at my suit on my bed. Nothing was going to happen to call of the funeral so I just suck it up. Slowly I undressed, putting my dirty clothes in the hamper by my closet. I grabbed a plain white button up shirt from my closet putting it on before walking back towards my bed. Very carefully I buttoned up the shirt, every button buttoned.   
  
I put on my coat and pants before my shoes. I wasn't going to put much effort into something I really don't want to do. All I wanted was Mikasa back in my arms, a good healthy friendship with Levi, and a happy life. But apparently that was just to much to ask for in this world. After I was dressed I grabbed a hair tie and tied back my chocolate brown locks in a small ponytail. Like I said, I wasn't going to put in much effort. I looked decent and that's all that mattered, right?  
  
I let out a small sigh before grabbing my phone from my desk and walking out of my room. Slowly I walked down the hallway and downstairs to the kitchen. There my mother was packing up some pictures and flowers into boxes. She didn't know that I was in the room and I really didn't care. I didn't try to catch her attention, she didn't need my help so what was the point. My mother knew how hard this was on me, she could tell. But it wasn't all about Mikasa's death. I was still completely conflicted about my friendship with Levi.  
  
He's amazing in every way and he is a lot like Mikasa but, I've never been attracted to a guy my whole life. Well, there was Armin but that was only because I thought he was a girl. But when I found out that he was really a guy, I liked him more as a friend than as a partner. Guy's have tried to hit on me, like Reiner and this transfer student that came a few years ago. I think his same was Marco or something. Both of them were nice guys but, I wasn't attracted to them. I've never been into a guy like that and now that I feel that way towards Levi I'm so scared.   
  
Right now, as far as I knew I wasn't gay. I was just being a good friend. Friends kiss sometimes, I mean I've kissed Armin. Girls kiss each other on the cheek.   
  
But they don't make out with each other. Argh. This whole thing was so confusing and I just wanted someone to explain the whole thing to me in full detail.  
  
I was snapped back to reality by my father placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him (Because he was like a titan) his eye's filled with concern and care. My father has always been good. He has done everything he can to make sure that I can have the best opportunities possible, the best life possible. He might have been a busy traveling doctor but he still found time to take care of us. Coming home for holiday's, mothers day, fathers day, birthdays. Hell when I told him I was going to give Mikasa a promise ring he made sure he didn't have any meetings or trips the week I was going to give Mika the ring. He's a great dad and I can't be anything but grateful for everything he's ever done.  
  
"Carla, do you need any help with the boxes?" My father's voice was deep and powerful.   
  
"Yes please, the boxes with the pictures are quite heavy but I can carry the ones with the flowers/" My mother's voice was smooth and soft.  
  
Their voices were so different yet they were so in love. You could tell by the small things they did. Helping each other, holding hands, cuddling, watching Sunday night movies, going on dates. Even after 20 years of marriage my father still acted like they were just teenagers in love, always trying to win her over. Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted a marriage like the one my parents had. Happy, caring, passionate. I guess what people say is true, I do belong to the town's most perfect family.   
  
"Darling, we'll be waiting in the car. Come out when you're ready."  
  
"I'm ready now."  
  
"You sure?" My mother's voice was concerned and I couldn't blame her. These past few weeks have been Hell for me. I wasn't the same and everyone could tell.  
  
"I'm sure mom, let's go and put Mikasa and her parents to peace." I said with a straight face.  
  
"Okay, let's go then."  
  
Both my mother and father both turned around boxes in hand and began to walk out of our home. They were both in black and looked perfect. Sometimes living this so called perfect life has it's major downfalls. You have to be perfect, people will have such high expectations for you and when you don't reach them people will bring you down and shame you. Life was a crazy thing.  
  
I followed my parents out and into my fathers black mustang. We rode in silence all the way to Maria Church.    
  
The church wasn't far from our house and deep inside I really wished it was farther. My father parked in the nearly empty parking lot and we all got out of the car. I stood tense by the car as my mother and father got the boxes and walked inside.  
  
This was it, once today was over it would be real that she was gone. That the whole Ackerman family was gone. There was a tightness in my chest and I felt like I was going to cry. Life was bullshit and I just wanted my life back. I wanted the time where it didn't matter what happened everyone was happy. I wanted the time when everything went as planned. But it wasn't going to be like that for a while, if ever.  
  
"Yeager!" I turned my head towards the voice to see a steaming angry Jean.  
  
"What do you want Horse Face?" I made sure my voice radiated how annoyed I was.  
  
When Jean reached me he grabbed me by my shirt collar and began to scream in my face, "I can not believe you. How could you do that to Mikasa. On the day of her fucking death you asshole!"  
  
"Get your hands off of me you prick! You're going to rip my shirt!" I tried to pry his hands off of me but with no luck. Jean was angry and I was confused. Strength was in his advantage. I knew what I did was wrong but I didn't need this asshole making me feel worse about it.  
  
"I don't give a shit about your damn shirt," Jean was right in my face and I was just hoping he wouldn't spit on my face. I didn't need to catch the horse face disease. "You shouldn't go kissing other people before your late fucking partner isn't even in the ground! Even I know that."  
  
I was so done with Jean. He's made my life miserable. Giving me shit about dating Mikasa, saying I wasn't good enough for her. He gave me shit for dating Annie too. Saying she was a no good bitch. Just because she didn't like him doesn't give him the right to call her a bitch. He's always been jealous for some reason and just tries to act so tough. "I know what I did was wrong and I've been so god damn confused about it! I don't need you putting me down about something I'm already putting myself down for! You fucking prick!"  
  
He let go of me and opened his mouth up to speak several time only to close his mouth again. "Stop making me feel bad about doing that."  
  
"You baby," I grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the curb. "I know you're mad at me but I'm mad at me too. I'm so confused because it is so wrong what I did. I'm scared and I'm confused. I've never acted like this before. I don't know what to think anymore, my whole life has turned upside." I pinched the bridge of my nose.   
  
"I'm sure you are, I was once in your shoes. Not knowing if I was gay or not. You know that transfer student Marco," he didn't wait for me answer he just kept talking. "I had a crush on him and I was scared about it. I spent my whole life believing that I was straight and the idea of liking another guy was so foreign to me. Then I talked to Armin about it. He told me that it was okay to have feelings for the same sex. Because when you love someone that is the same sex as you it's easier to tell if it was real or not. After that I was okay with it. Liking another guy was okay. I started dating Armin soon after."  
  
"And what does this have to do with what's going on with me?"  
  
"I'm getting to that calm down. I don't doubt that you loved Mikasa to the end but I think that you loved her as family and not as a lover. I'm going to sound like a total jerk but I only told you that stuff about Levi because I was testing you. I knew that he cared about you and didn't care if you were dating him or not. You stood by him and defended him. No one would blame you for going out with him."  
  
He wasn't telling me anything I hadn't known already. Other than the fact that he tested me, that was new. "I already knew that you were a jerk and that people wouldn't blame me. They're similar in every way shape and form. I know that there is nothing wrong with being gay. But..." My voice trailed off. Being gay was okay, being with Levi would be okay.   
  
"You like him don't you."  
  
"I think so."  
  
"About time you figured it out," I looked over at Jean. He was leaned back on his elbows.  
  
"What do you mean by that horse face?" I gave him a confused look.  
  
"Well, the way you look at him is so loving. I mean, you look at him so differently than you ever looked at Mikasa. You always look at him so tenderly and it's kind of weird sometimes. You've gotten lost in your own thoughts more and more ever since you started talking to him. You've never gotten distracted before, not even when you started dating Mikasa. I think that's why I always gave you a hard time for dating her, because I didn't feel like you loved her the way that she should have been loved." Jean didn't look at me the whole time he was speaking. But he really didn't have to, I could tell that everything he was saying was true. Sure I didn't want to believe it but some how I knew it was true. The spacing out, looking at him differently, caring about him more than I do with my other friends, acting like I was already dating him. That must have been why it felt so natural to kiss him and be around him. To have hugged him the first time that we talked to each other.  
  
"I might like him but I can't be in love with him. That's ridiculous! Levi's a nice guy and everything but I can't like him like that. Hell no, it's to soon, it's to strange. He's an amazing person but I can't date him."  
  
"Oh my god, you are such an idiot! Just get over yourself and admit that you like him!"  
  
"I'm sorry if I don't want to think that I was in 'love' with someone while my girlfriend was dying!"  
  
"You're so dense! You liked him even before the crash!" He got up off of the curb and stood in front of me before continuing on his rant, "You would glance at him and your face would change in this strange way. You would happily answer problems for him when he wasn't paying attention. Also you've offered your notes to him on days he was out. Sure he would say it's no big deal and that he didn't need them but that was only because he's an awkward piece of shit."  
  
"He's no piece of shit he's a great guy!"  
  
"There you go again! Just admit it!"  
  
"No!"  
  
Jean was being an asshole and forcing me to think things. I was more confused than ever. I didn't and have never treated Levi differently. Maybe I looked at him differently but that wasn't until I got to know what a great guy he was. I loved Mikasa, and I still do. I won't stop loving her, I can't.  
   
Every doubt that I had about ever liking Levi before were gone. Any thoughts about Mikasa not being the love of my life were gone. She is and always will be the love of my life.  
  
Levi was my friend and that was it. If everyone cared about me then they wouldn't push me into a relationship with someone right as my girlfriend was being buried into the fucking ground.  
  
"You're an idiot Eren," Jean just rolled his eyes at me and then walked into the church.   
  
I pinched my nose in frustration. Everything was total bullshit. Now I knew how Levi felt about the world. People could be so stupid sometimes. I stood up from the curb and walked into the church. There were flowers and three coffins on the platform at the front of the building. Along the benches were small lights and or lanterns. Everything looked so classy and beautiful but like the Ackerman family. Like mine, they were good people, kind to all. Mrs. Ackerman grew her own vegetables and gave them to the kids on the streets. Mr. Ackerman was a very successful business man. Everyone looked up to their family almost as much as people of this town looked up to Jean or my family.   
  
Mikasa, Jean, and I all belonged to the three top families of Trost. Weird right.  
  
Near the coffin's sat both of Mikasa's grandparents, on her Father's side. Her mother's parents died when she was only a baby. They were great people and everyone says that she has her grandmother's face. I don't see it, all I saw was a beautiful woman. Mikasa's family was filled with successful men, and beautiful women. A perfect family line.  
  
I walked up to her grandparents and when they saw me they had faces filled with despair. I took time to hug them both. This whole thing had to be the hardest on them. Losing their whole family all at once.  
  
Mika's grandma cupped my face and gave me a small smile, "She always loved your eyes. They are so special and beautiful. But not as beautiful as you."  
  
"I know, but I will never be as beautiful as her."  
  
"Maybe so, but you're going to do great things in her memory."  
  
"Thank you Mrs. Ackerman."  
  
"Please don't be so formal, you're family my dear."  
  
I gave her a small smile before kissing her softly on the cheek. She was always a sweet woman and forever will be one. Before I could walk away to help my mother put up the pictures someone grabbed my wrist. I turned back and saw the grandfather. "You loved her I know that but you weren't in love with her." Honestly, I didn't know what to say to that. Agree or just decline. "You didn't look at her with the look you look at someone you are in love with."  
  
"I didn't?" I didn't think, I just spoke. Maybe I made a mistake, maybe I was just being in denial as everyone else keeps telling me.  
  
"No my son. But that's okay, because you loved her in some type of way. Thank you Eren for being there for Mikasa and her family. Thank you for keeping my darling granddaughter happy in her darkest time."  
  
"You're welcome," he gave me a smile before returning to his wife. Everyone was telling me the same thing over and over again. That I wasn't in love with Mikasa, that I'm in love with someone else. Some people think that it's Levi and some don't know who it is. The same thing over and over again.  
  
The rest of the time before people were going to start to show up, I spent my time helping my mother doing things. Putting up decorations, picking out pictures, keeping the grandparents calm and collected. At 11 I lined up with my parents and the grandparents. Before we really knew it people were walking in and paid their respects to us. People from just neighbors, classmates, friends, extended family, family friends, business partners, the whole nine yards. Hanji and Erwin even came to pay their respects. Made me wonder where Levi was.   
  
Everyone but a few people were seated by now and still Levi hadn't shown up. I looked down at my shoes and let out a small sigh. Mr. Ackerman looked over at me with a confused look, "What with you?"  
  
I let out a soft laugh, "Just my good friend didn't show up."  
  
"Armin showed up."  
  
"No, a different friend Gramps."  
  
He nudged my arm catching my attention, "Is it maybe him." He pointed towards the door and there, walking over to us was Levi. He was wearing a grey button up shirt with a simple black suit, but instead of a tie he was wearing a cravat. When I got over his outfit I noticed his pale face. His hair was pushed back with some type of gel. Also his lips had more color than normal and there was a small sparkle on his ears. Since when did he wear jewelry?  
  
Levi glided towards us, shaking everyones hand and paying his respects. He stopped a little longer when he was by me. Our eyes linked and I was so glad to see him. I brought him into a light hug before he finished up and walked to the bench where Hanji and Erwin were sitting there. My eyes followed him the whole time and I dazed out without realizing. It took gramps nudging me more than once to catch my attention. "You like him don't you."  
  
"What, no. Why would you even think that. He's just a friend, nothing more."   
  
The words spilled out of my mouth like vomit and I didn't know if I was going to regret it or not. "Then why do you look at him like that?"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like you're in love."  
  
I gave him a questioning look, I couldn't trust my voice and mind not to say anything stupid. "Trust me, I know that look." He grabbed his wife's hand and didn't take his eyes of or her, "You look at that boy the way that I look at my beautiful wife."  
  
There was no real response to his words. My mother walked to the mic, signaling us that we could sit down.  
  
"We are here today to pay our respects to the late Ackerman family. They were well loved and they loved the people of this city. I personally am very close to the Ackerman's and I know that they are wonderful people. My son Eren was going to marry Mikasa after he went to med school, but sadly that wedding won't happen. They were a very happy couple, one of the happiest couples I've ever seen. I was so happy for them and now I can't do anything but grief the loss of a legacy. The Ackerman family will live on, because us as a city won't let them die in vane. Now, my son Eren with some words about his experience." Slowly my mother walked down to the benches and sat down before I stood up to walk to the mic.  
  
Everyone was looking at me and I really didn't mind. The only thing I could focus on was Levi. Our eyes were locked and all I could see were his beautiful eyes. "I loved Mikasa and her whole family. She was beautiful, strong, smart, talented. Everything anyone could ever want in a person. It's true that Mikasa and I had plans to start our own family together and I was looking forward to starting that family. But now, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. This whole thing is very hard on me personally. She has always been there for me, helped me through everything I was ever going through. Mika was there for me in my brightest and my darkest hours, never once giving up on me. I can't thank her enough for being there for me."  
  
I took a brief pause to collect myself, before I made a total fool of myself. "Her family was my family as well, as mine was hers." I didn't know what to say, everything I thought I was going to say. This wasn't going well. But I couldn't stop talking, "I wish that I could have done more for her than I did. I would drag her into my problems and I made so many mistakes while we were dating. Many of you will say that I'm only human and that I make mistakes, but I don't believe that this was just a mistake I made by chance. I loved Mikasa, I loved her to the end and I still love her. But I'm not quite sure I was in love with her. That must sound so terrible to some of you but to some of you, you might be so glad I'm finally admitting it.  
  
"Mikasa is my best friend and I love her so much. I won't stop loving her but for some reason it feels like this was supposed to happen. I'm still very much confused and I don't doubt that I will be confused for a while longer. While I'm confused I'm learning some very valuable lessons. Mikasa is helping me every step of the way, and with her spirt I know, that I can do anything that I set my mind to." I looked at Levi and his eyes glimmered. He looked so, put together and classy. Almost magical. I slowly walked back to my seat while my mother walked back up to the mic.  
  
Everything went smoothly, people went up, talked about Mikasa. Turns out some of her teachers came as well. Then, the family friends talked about the parents.  
  
The whole service took about two and a half hours. Two and a half hours of me being so distracted. I was lost in my thoughts the whole fucking time. Thinking about wether I was in love with Levi or not. Personally, I don't see him more than a friend right now, but when we're alone I do think of him differently. It just felt so natural that I didn't notice it. But that didn't mean that I was in love with him, right?  
  
Still lost in my thoughts I followed everyone out to the church cemetery. I stood with everyone else watching as the Ackerman family were carried out in their coffins to be buried six feet under. One by one the white coffins were lowered into the ground, into their respected holes.   
  
Some people left others stayed and watch the dirt pile on top of the graves. After a while I just couldn't watch the church workers pile on the dirt. I pocketed my hands and walked back to the church front. There was a slight breeze and I watched the tree leaves move. It was actually a beautiful day, just a little cloudy and bright blue sky.  
  
"Hey," I turned and saw Levi. His cravat slightly blowing with the wind.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"You okay?" He walked over to me and stood by my side.  
  
"I've been better."  
  
"I could only guess."  
  
"When did you get holes in your ear?"  
  
"Saturday," I felt his gaze on me and I turned to catch his eye. His eyes were so light and there was a hint of gold from the light.  
  
"You're eyes," I wasn't thinking and softly placed my hand on his cheek. His skin was warm as he leaned into my touch.  
  
"What about them?"  
  
"They're beautiful," without thinking about it, we were facing each other. Locked onto each other's gazed.   
  
"Not as beautiful as yours," my eyes dropped down to his lips, they were partially open. I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't know why I was doing what I was doing.  
  
Slowly our faces got closer together, it was Friday night all over again. I could feel his breath slowly blow on my face. Levi wrapped his arms around my neck to pull me into a hug. "Eren, I'm not any good with words. I don't know how to put my feelings and emotions into words. I've always sucked at doing that. But I want to give it a try. Eren, I like you a lot. I have for a while now but I don't want to force you into anything. I've never had someone I can call my own, someone I can always go to. But I don't ever want to force anyone to do anything, especially not you. I understand if you don't want to go out with me, I'm not the best person, but I want you in my life. You're special and amazing..."  
  
I stopped paying attention and focused on his moving lips. He look so different, so soft. Maybe, maybe I was in love. Maybe I was in love with Levi, and right now I didn't really care. I give up fighting it, I don't care anymore. Being with Levi felt right, it felt wonderful. I wanted to be more than just his friend, and I always wanted to be something more. I just didn't know it yet, "Shut up."    
  
"Wha-" I didn't wait for him to think anything through, I cupped his face and I pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss. His lips were soft like before and he was warm. Levi was beautiful and amazing and I couldn't get enough of him; never could. Our tongues fondled each other as my hands lowered to the small of his back. Both of us were so intoxicated with each other. Our kiss slowed down to just soft kisses with no tongue.  
  
"Levi, I like you a lot too."  
  
He gave me a shocked look almost as if he was being tricked, "You're not fucking with me?"  
  
"Never," I pulled his face towards mine so our noses touch. "And you aren't a rebound. These are true feelings and I want to be with you."  
  
Levi looked in my eyes, his soft and beautiful. They looked happy, truly happy. It looked great on him, he looked beautiful. The piercing, the new clothes, his soft skin. Everything about him was so perfect, and I couldn't get enough of him. If I didn't know any better, I would think that Levi was the love of my life. Now, I wouldn't want it any other way.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWWW FINALLY!!! EREN OKAY WITH BEING IN FUCKING LOVE!  
> I'm happy that they are together kind of but I feel like I kind of rushed it and didn't describe Levi as well as I wanted to.
> 
> All and All I'm very happy for my babies. 
> 
> Next chapter is going to be very, umm how do I saw it. Fun. That's as best as I can describe it without making to many promises. Anyways! 
> 
> I really hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter!   
> Comments/review and/or feedback is greatly appreciated!
> 
> Thank you for reading lovelies!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY!! Another chapter that didn't take me three hundred years to write!
> 
> Also thank my panda bear for pushing me to finish this chapter. She really wanted another chapter and I love my Panda Bear to much to let her down. <3
> 
> Anyways, there is the nasty hot fucking amazing smut in this chapter. It's fluffy and cute an I love it. But I feel like the ending is kind of well sappy. Maybe that's just me.
> 
> Well enjoy the chapter my lovely readers.

The day that I was dreaming for finally happened but who knew that it was going to happen on the day of a fucking funeral. No one. But I finally feel like I know what happiness feels like. It's this warm feeling that you can't get enough of. My who life I didn't know if I would ever know what it felt like to be truly happy, now I feel like I'm on cloud nine.  
  
After Eren and I finally stopped sucking on each others faces we walked to the beach to just hang out. Eren was still going through his grieving period and I wasn't going to force him to do anything. Never did before and I wasn't going to start now. We sat down on the sand next to each other watching the waves crash against the beach in a peaceful silence. Eren's arm was around my shoulder protectively and I was leaning into him. His body was warm and he still smelt like the ocean.  
  
Both of us didn't want to talk, we were just too comfortable in the silence. Speaking would mean thinking, which led to headaches, which led to pain, which would end up with angst.   
  
I looked up at Eren, his eyebrows were furrowed and I knew he was getting really frustrated. Maybe this was how he grieved but it wasn't pleasant to see. He looked so worried and it gave me a terrible feeling in my stomach. Eren said I wasn't going to be a rebound but how would he know. I might end up just being a rebound without him knowing. I guess Eren felt me looking at him because he looked down to meet my eyes. There was a hint of gold in his eyes that I never noticed before. Maybe it was new, who knows.  
  
We just stared at each other, lost for words. I really hated emotions, they were to much work to understand and deal with. I started running my finger over his leg to distracted myself. His eyes were filled with so much emotion and it was overwhelming.   
  
"Today has been a day hasn't it," his voice was smoother than I remembered it. Smoother than I would image it being.  
  
"It has," was all I could put together. My mind was racing but I couldn't put anything into words.  
  
Eren started rubbing circles on my upper arm. "Where do we go from here?"  
  
"How the fuck should I know that. I haven't even made plans for tomorrow let alone the next week or month or year." The words left my mouth before I could really think about them. Once again I felt like just falling over and dying from internal bleeding.  
  
Luckily Eren thought it was funny and let out a fairly loud laugh. It was so passionate and I could listen to it forever. I closed my eyes and hummed softly, leaning closer into his warm chest. "Super classy Levi."  
  
"I wasn't built to be classy I was built to be a sassy little bitch," I smiled a little at my comeback. Joking around with Eren was so easy, we could both just be ourselves and we both knew what dorks we both where. I mean I had a pen collection and Eren was a Disney geek. It was actually really cute. I felt my cheeks get warmer as a soft shade of pink spread across my face.  
  
"In fact you are," Eren's voice trailed off. But not in the way that he didn't want to finish his sentence, but in the way he wanted to return to listening to the waves crashing against the sand. I didn't mind not talking, as long as I got to be so close to Eren. I mean, the kid was so fucking warm and I loved it. He's like the fireplace you lay by in the winter, warm and cozy.  
  
My suit was probably dirty as Jeans asshole but that didn't really bother me right now. I was to busy taking in the scents of Eren.  
  
  
I don't know when I fell asleep, all I know is that I woke up to Eren running his fingers through my hair. My head was on his lap and I didn't want to get up. I was so comfortable. "For someone who never sleeps you fell asleep pretty easily."  
  
"Oh shut up you brat, it's easier to fall asleep during the day than at night," I grabbed his free hand and held it in my own.  
  
"Hmmm."  
  
"How long was I asleep?"  
  
"Not that long, just a few hours."  
  
"Fuck, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight." My fucking sleeping habits were going to be the death of me. If I didn't get cancer then I was going to go to long without sleeping and end up dying. A human can only live 11 days without sleep. Well, thats the record at least.  
  
"I'll stay up with you tonight if you like," Eren flashed me a small smile that made me blush. He was so sweet, like how did grumpy me get someone as perfect as him.  
  
"I doubt you'll be able to stay up all night."  
  
"Is that a challenge?" He raised an eyebrow at me. What was the harm, I knew he wouldn't be able to stay up. He loves to sleep.  
  
"We can make it one, if you're up to it."  
  
"Bring it on."  
  
Our eyes were locked and there was again so much passion in his Caribbean eyes. Who cares about the ocean when he had the seven seas in his eyes. "Okay then, if you can't stay up all night you have to buy me dinner and if you do manage to stay up all night with me then." I stopped to think for a second. What could he want? _I'm sure Eren would love to see you in thigh highs and lace underwear_. Hanji's words raced through my mind and I smirked at the thought. "I'll wear thigh highs and lace panties just for you."  
  
Eren's face went from blushing school girl to determined. I was almost scared and worried that I made this deal. That was until I remembered that the kid had to stay up all night, and no way was he going to be able to do that. "Oh you're on!"  
  
I let out a soft laugh at his enthusiasm. He was the only one who could make me feel happy and wanted. I could be myself around him and he wouldn't judge me, just come up with a sassy remark. It was easy to be around him, it always was.  
  
"You're such a kid."  
  
"Is that a bad thing?"  
  
"Not with you," being with Eren was dangerous. I let myself go, I didn't think I just acted. I slowly sat up to meet his lips in a soft kiss. His lips were soft and he was a great kisser. He wasn't sloppy and lazy with his kisses. They were always smooth and beautiful. Can a kiss even be beautiful? "I feel like I'm covered in sand and germs," way to go me, ruining everything with my cleanliness addiction.  
  
"Maybe because you are covered in sand and germs."  
  
Eren you angel.  
  
"Want to go back to my house, you can take a shower there."  
  
"I would love to," we exchanged smiled before getting up. Eren tried to help get as much sand off of me but I got to frustrated and started pulling him so I could get to a shower faster.  
  
  
It didn't hit me that I didn't have any spear clothes to wear until I was half way through with my shower. I pinched the bridge of frustration as the water washed away the body soap. Eren would probably let me wear his clothes. I bet he would get a kick out of me wearing extra baggy clothes. I finished up with my shower and stepped out and quickly dried myself off to prevent puddles. There was steam on the mirror and the titles were cold under my feet.  
  
I wrapped the towel loosely around my waist and walked out. Luckily  Eren had his own bathroom and I wouldn't have to fear about running into his mom. Well, if she was even home. When I opened the bathroom door, Eren was laying on his bed, his stomach facing the ceiling. He was now wearing grey sweatpants and a dark blue tee instead of his dress clothes. "Oi, I need clothes," I leaned on the door frame as I watched Eren sit up and examine my body. It felt weird and uncomfortable, just watching him look at my bear chest.  
  
"Right, let me see if I have something that wouldn't fall off of you."   
  
He got up and walked to his closet. His shirt was tighter than I thought and I could see his back muscles move as he reached for a box. Eren was ripped and beautiful. It didn't take long for him to bring me the clothes. In his hand were a pair of blue flannel pj pants and a grey long sleeve shirt. As I grab the clothes my hand met his and we both lingered. I took the clothes and retreated back into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind me. I placed the clothes on the counter before removing my towel from my waist.  
  
As I went to grab the pants I felt something else. It was hard and cold. I moved the clothes out of the way and found a gold key. I placed it next to the clothes before getting dressed, trying my hardest not to think about it to much. Eren would just tell me when I gave it back to him. I grabbed the key and walked out of the bathroom. Eren was back on his bed, only with his phone this time. He took a picture of himself and started typing away at the screen, must have been snapchatting someone I thought.  
  
I walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. He acknowledged my presence with a tender smile that make my heart flutter. Everything felt so different now, and I felt like a total cliche. I handed him the key before asking about it, "I found it in between your clothes, what is it for?"  
  
Eren didn't answer only stared at the key in his hand. He didn't say anything for a while, just rubbed the metal between his fingers. I didn't know the history behind it but I didn't think that it was very pleasant to remember. "It's a good luck charm. Mikasa, she, she gave it to me for my 16th birthday. I guess I put it in that box for safe keeping."  
  
It made sense that he would get emotional about it. No matter how strong Eren tried to act, he wouldn't be able to fool everyone. There were subtle hints that gave away his emotions. For as long as I've known him, I've noticed how he'll smile and then that smile will drop when no one is looking. When he's nervous he'll play with his hair. When he's lying the tips of his ears turn red. When he's confused he plays with the collar of his shirt. Little things. Yeah I might be creepy for knowing that but, I observe people. I'm aware of my surroundings, always looking for the little hints. I'm not sure why I do that but I just do it. "You could get a leather strip and make it into a necklace," Eren turned to look at me as I kept talking. "I'm only guessing but the way that you hold it with care that it's very important to you. Having it on a type of chain then it will be right by your heart everyday."  
  
"Why are you telling him to keep it on me. Shouldn't you be telling me to put it on my desk of in my backpack?"  
  
"Because, it means a lot to you, You cared about Mikasa a lot and just letting something go, something that has a lot of emotion behind it, is unhealthy. I want you to be happy and safe. Also, you can't just stop loving someone, and if you are able to that just means that you really didn't love that person. I don't expect you to get over Mikasa, and especially not this fast. It's going to take a long time for you just to not think about her every time you look at something. For you not to think that she is the love of your life" my voice trailed off after that. I really didn't know what I was doing. I was putting my insecurities indirectly onto Eren. Hopefully he wouldn't notice me.  
  
"Thank you," was all he said as me got up and placed the key on his desk. Leaving me alone on the bed. As far as I knew, he didn't know that I was still scared about this whole relationship thing.  
  
"Anytime Eren," was all my awkward ass could put out. I sat on the bed, waiting for Eren to say something, anything. I was beyond tense and I didn't know if Eren was feeling the same way. It didn't look like he was but that might just because he was thinking. His brows were furrowed as if he was thinking about something. My short ass just wished that he was to deep in thought to notice the awkward silence.   
  
"Wanna go watch a movie?" His voice caught me off guard and I probably looked like an idiot with the confused expression on my face. The fact that Eren let out a small laugh didn't help. "Oh come on, we can watch on the big screen in the basement." Eren came over to me and pulled me off of the bed without giving me time to answer. That was Eren, acting on instinct. It worked for him.  
  
He guided me through his house to the basement door. "Be careful, it's kind of steep," Eren warned during our way down to his basement. I wasn't expecting much, couches, maybe a bar, and a large flat screen on the wall. But were my expectations so low. It felt like a club down in his basement. A professional bar, tables, pool table, a  mini fridge, some non lit neon lights, and more. Note to self, throw a party in Eren's basement. We walked pass everything fancy and entered a mint green room. There was a white sectional and a flat screen that was at least 85 inches. The room was homey and comfortable.  
  
We both sat down on the couch with some space between us. I felt tense and worried about over stepping my boundaries with him. I didn't want to do anything that would make him uncomfortable.  
  
Eren pulled out a remote and turned on the tv before pulling out an Apple TV remote. The controller looked so small in his hands. He opened up Netflix before asking what type of movie I wanted to watch, I replied with horror and got a smirk in return. "What's with the smirk kid?"  
  
"I'm the king of horror," he replied.  
  
"Oh really?"  
  
"Oh yeah. If watching horror movies was a competition I would win."  
  
"Not if you were competing against me."  
  
"You want to make another bet short stuff?"  
  
I almost laughed at his snotty remark. As much as I hated when people made fun of my height, with him I didn't really care all that much. "Hell yeah."  
  
"Okay, the first one to scream or look away has to give the winner a back massage."  
  
"You're on titan hair," Eren and I shook on it and slowly I got closer to him.  
  
We went through all of the horror movies looking for one movie that the other hadn't seen already. We went through at least 20 movie titles from as popular as **Texas Chainsaw** to as unknown as **Truth or Die** before we came across **Secrets in the Walls**. Neither Eren of I had seen it so we gave it a try. It was a strange film about this family who found a skeleton in the walls. It wasn't very scary, it mainly relied on jump scares for horror. The plot was fairly good but it wasn't all that scary. Sure a girl was put in the walls to die. Clawing at the wood to try and get out.  
  
"Pick a scary one this time Eren."  
  
"It's not my fault, It sounded scarier than I thought."  
  
"Search **The Quiet Ones**."  
  
"Have you watched it yet?"  Eren asked while typing in the title to the search bar.  
  
"No, Hanji said it was actually good and that I should watch it but I just hadn't gotten around to watching it yet."  
  
"So you don't know what it's about?"  
  
"It's about this stupid doctor trying to cure mental illnesses for good."  
  
"Sounds so scary," Eren said overly sarcastically. I couldn't blame him, it didn't seem like a horror movie but Hanji said it was a good quality film. There was nothing to be lost so might as well give it a try.  
  
Eren started the movie and I took notice of how we were sitting. I had both of my legs over his own and my head was rested on his shoulder. It was comfortable and he didn't seem to mind. I let a small smile show on my face before taking in the details of the movie. The actors had british accents that actually worked with the characters. I already hated the doctor, testing people. Treating these people like they were some problem that needed to be fixed.  
  
To summarize the movie, it was different. I liked the story line and how everyone but the camera man died at the end. He just wanted to prove that she wasn't crazy and that she needed to see a real doctor. He really cared about her and I found that so sweet. It was more sad than scary but it did have it's disturbing moments. Hanji wasn't lying when she said it was a good movie.  
  
"That was a really good movie," I made a small noise of agreement as I watched Eren look through more titles.  
  
There were some more movies now that we had watched some new ones. One was **Apartment 143** , Eren and I exchanged glances before he selected the movie. It started out like any other cliche horror movie. A call to investigate a paranormal experience. Player camera guy, smart blonde, and a older fellow get called in. The family has a rebellious teenager. But slowly it got creepier and creepier. The daughter becoming a host, the strange figures in pictures, the picture, the possible abuse. With every attack I felt myself cling onto Eren a little more. He didn't seem to mind, in fact the only reason I knew that he noticed was the small smile on his face every time I squeeze his arm.   
  
The bet wasn't over just because I got a little freaked out. By the end when the player and the older guy leave the apartment both Eren and I were barely hanging on. The whole film made it seem like there was going to be one last scare just before the credits.   
  
Sure enough there was. The last camera looked up to the ceiling and there was that damn figure. Neither of us wanted to lose the bet and it took all of our will power not to look away before something happened.   
  
Both Eren and I watched as the figure came running towards the camera. I couldn't hold it in anymore, I was freaked out beyond belief. It was just a massage right? I didn't have time to think before a "Holy Shit" came out of my mouth as the creature, grunge thing attacked the camera. But my voice wasn't the only one I heard, there was an equally loud "Fuck" alone with my curse.  
  
Eren and I both lost the bet. As the credits rolled down I was so done with horror. The Grunge scared the shit out of me and so did this. I mean like, fuck. Creepy figures of long black haired girls are fucking scary.  
  
"Why did we watch that?" Eren asked.  
  
"I'm not sure but I don't ever want to watch it again."  
  
"Agreed. How about we don't watch another Horror movie."  
  
"Agreed."  
  
We agreed on watching a comedy to try and calm our nerves. **Mean Girls, Mean Girls 2, Princess Diaries, Not Cool, Clueless, Expelled, The Emperor's Mew Groove**. By the time we weren't super paranoid anymore it was almost Three in the morning. Surprisingly Eren was still pretty wide awake and I couldn't tell if he was forcing it or not. At this point I really didn't care if I had to wear the stupid shit that Hanji bought. If girls wore it all the time then it has to be at least a little bit comfortable.   
  
"Levi?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
Eren's voice had something hidden in it and I didn't know if it was because he was tired or something. If he was just tired and I really wanted him to be tired all the time because his voice was so sexy. "You don't still feel like a rebound do you?"  
  
"No. Everything you've done today has proven that you actually have feelings for me. I'm still scared but I don't feel like a rebound."  
  
"Good, because I really want to do something. As long as you're okay with it."  
  
"And what would this something be?" I asked with a smirk.  
  
"Nah," there was a small blush on his face. He looked so shy, almost like a teenage school girl talking to her crush.  
  
Maybe I should have put more thought into my actions before I slipped onto Eren's lap, straddling him. I wrapped my arms around his neck loosely. This whole thing would either go amazingly well or completely terrible. I was hoping for the former. "Oh come on tell me," I should have stopped but it was the beach all over again. But the beach did go well, it got Eren to think but it also caused me to be very self conscious about the whole thing.  
  
"Don't you think that if we did do this, it would be to soon. That it might screw some things up."  
  
"As long as you don't think you'll regret it tomorrow, I'm all for getting my asshole stretched by you." I said the last sentence with a little more playfulness than normal.  
  
Eren looked at my lips then back at my eyes, lips slightly parted. "I won't."  
  
Our lips connected in a deep and passionate as soon as the words left his mouth. His hands roamed under my shirt. I melted under his touch as he explored my body. He bit at my lip teasingly. I felt my dick harden as Eren began to tease my nipple. I let out a soft moan into his mouth. For someone who was straight all his life he knew how to turn a gay guy on.  
  
When air became a problem we broke the kiss and took the time to take of my shirt. Once the offending fabric was off our lips connected again. I gripped his hair in my hands, making it a bigger mess than normal. His chocolate locks were soft like silk. Eren's hands roamed my chest and rubbed my nipples. I let out a moan in his mouth as we helped each other remove the clothing on our bodies.  
  
Eren and I continued to kiss as he began to palm my dick through my boxers. "Fuck Eren," I let out a shameless moan. With Eren I didn't try to hide how I was feeling under his touch. His dick wasn't even in me yet and I was a panting, moaning, and sweaty mess.   
  
"You're so hot, your face all flushed like that," Eren said with a smirk. My ragging boner was almost to bear to deal with and I just wanted Eren to fill me up and stroke my dick.   
  
"Eren, I-I need your dick in-inside of m-me noow," I said in between moans and pants.  
  
"How badly do you want me?" His voice was filled with so much lust that it was so beautifully sexy.  
  
"So Badly Eren. I want to ride your huge cock until I see stars."  
  
How I managed to make any words out was a miracle. He was teasing me so much it was so unbearable. How Eren was able to make me feel so good without really doing much was amazing. His body was beautifully amazing. Eren's body was toned and his skin was so smooth. He reached over and grabbed a bottle of something, most likely a lubrication. Him and I wiggled out of our boxers, freeing our rock hard erections. The cool air bit at dick which was leaking pre cum at this point.  
  
I looked down at his lap. His dick was standing up against his stomach. It was large and beautiful and amazing. I was to focused on his dick that I didn't notice that Eren spread a good amount of lube on his fingers before sticking a digit into my asshole. I let out a gasp as my entrance was invaded.   
  
It had been a while since I last had sex with someone. The feeling of something inside of me felt different and slightly uncomfortable. Soon, the feeling of Eren's finger inside of me turned to pleasure. I wiggled on his finger, meeting him with every trust of his finger. He added another finger and I pulled him into another kiss.   
  
I needed Eren, I needed him more than I needed air. He made me feel happy, unlike anyone else I've ever been with. None of my other fuck buddies made me feel this good with only their fingers. I was getting close to my peak and his dick wasn't even in me yet. Eren added another finger, twisting and curling in me. He brushed against my prostate ever so slightly but it was enough to make me let out a shamelessly loud moan, "Er-Eren right there! Aghh!"  
  
Eren continued to rub against my prostate, abusing it until I was seeing stars. I let out plenty of moans that I was feeling my peak. He had been fingering and stretching me out for some time, that it wasn't my stamina. It was the duration and Eren's god like hands. Eren grabbed my neglected dick and began to stroke it, using my pre cum as lubrication. His touch was enough for me to be even closer to my orgasm.  
  
"Fu-fuck Eren, I'm close, I'm close!" I screamed out. He continued to stroke me with one hand and supporting me while fingering me with the other. I was moaning Eren's name like a whore but I didn't care. I didn't care that I was a sweaty mess. Eren made me feel so good, so pleasured and satisfied.   
  
I screamed out Eren's name as I came into his hand. He stroked me through my orgasm, allowing me to pull at his long locks. When I came down from my high he removed his fingers from my asshole. I let out a small whimper from the new found feeling of emptiness. "I don't have a condom and I really don't want to go upstairs to get one," his voice was filled with lust and I wanted him to always sound like that.  
  
"Just fuck me until I see stars," my voice was hoarse and it was about to get even more so after Eren got his dick into me. Eren didn't respond only lined his dick up to my entrance and lowered me down. Going from three fingers to his cock was a big stretch. Eren was bigger than any of my other partners and I wasn't complaining. I pushed his lips to mine in a hungry kiss. Eren's hands on my waist pulling me closer to him.   
  
He bucked up throwing me off. I started meeting him with every thrust, grinding during the process. We got a rhythm going and we kept going.   
  
Once again I was a moaning mess but I wasn't alone. Eren was grunting and moaning my name as I was moaning his. I wrapped my arms around his neck gripping on his hair. I was so caught up with being invaded by his beautiful cock that I barley noticed that Eren stood up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me to the arm of the chair. Carefully he placed me on the arm and grabbed one of my legs to put it over his shoulder.  
  
The angle gave him perfect access to my prostate. I began to scream as Eren abused my prostate. My back arched as I was close to my second orgasm. I let out a string of curses as Eren didn't light up on my prostate. "Er-Eren!"  
  
"Fuck, Levi you're so beautiful, like that," he whispered into my mouth. I moaned and screamed as Eren trusted in and out of me.   
  
"Ha-Harder! Eren harder!" I was acting like a cock hungry slut. But Eren didn't see it as a fault, he gave me what I wanted and trusted into me faster and harder. I screamed out louder with eery trust. I began to move down to meet him with his trust and we gained a rhythm again.   
  
I was having sex with Eren and it felt fucking amazing. He would take care of my needs, pleasure me before pleasuring himself. Eren was a gentleman who lived for other people, made their lives better just by being there. He could make someone happy just by smiling. Eren was perfect and I was so lucky to even have him as a friend.  
  
My second orgasm came faster than I thought and Eren's orgasm came after mine. His hot cum filled my ass as his dick softened. Slowly Eren put down my leg and pulled out of me. I laid on the couch my arm over my eyes. He gave me the best night I ever had, made me feel great. I was so physically exhausted I didn't want to move. So tired that I barely noticed Eren picking me up bridal style and caring me back up to his room. For once I was happy that I didn't weigh a lot and was so small in size.  
  
I took in the sight of him and he looked almost as wrecked as I felt. His hair was a mess and he was so sweaty it was hard to look at him. I didn't say anything as he carried me back up to his bedroom. Gently he placed me down on his bed and went into the bathroom. He still wasn't wearing any clothes and it was a beautiful sight. I propped myself up on my elbows and Eren walked back with a towel.   
  
He softly ran the wet towel over my body cleaning up the sweat and come off. Eren was an angel and I couldn't get enough of him. I sat up to rest my head on the back board of his bed while Eren cleaned himself off.  
  
"You're amazing you know," him and I just had sex and I had two orgasms. Right now I was feeling a little cocky, maybe more than a little.  
  
Eren let out a small laugh and I smirked at the sound. "And you are something, and one of those things is being fucking beautiful during sex."  
  
"Shut up," I said with no real meaning and a blush.   
  
For some reason, Eren made me feel like I was actually a human being. That I was worth something in this shitty world. I didn't feel like I had to hide myself. Being around Eren was safe and I was able to be myself without having to much fear of being judged. He was open and wonderful and an angel. No matter how much he told himself and me he wasn't perfect, I still believed he was and I always will.  
  
I might be sounding like a total cliche but I would cherish every moment with him. Because he gave me a reason not to give up on life.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWWWW MY BABY LEVI IS BEING SAPPY AND CLICHE I LOVE!!!!
> 
> Well finally, FINALLY! they had sex, they became one as some would say. I think it's amazing. I'm so happy for my babies!!
> 
> I know must of you will be so happy that they finally did it and got over their dork selves. I am too. I love them so much like they are my babies and I ant the best for them.
> 
> But this story/fic has a long way to go. I'm not sure if the next chapter will have any feelsy moments or not yet. I might make it all fluffy but we'll see were my fingers take me. (That sounded more sexual than I planned on it being... Okay)
> 
> Also! The king of horror was so cute! But Apartment 143is freaking terrifying like dude! I couldn't even watch the end without looking away. I saw the figure and was done like hell no not doing that. I do recommend watching all the horror movies that I used in this one because they are pretty good movies. PS I am a horror movie geek soooo.
> 
> Well I hope that you enjoyed the chapter! Remember that comments/reviews and/or feedback is greatly appreciated! <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are great

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late at night I'm tired but I finished this chapter!  
> You get to see what happens after a night of hot gay sex.
> 
> I like this chapter a lot and I hope that you enjoy reading chapter 10 <3
> 
> !* Warning! There is a Point of View switch *!

Eren was really something.  
After he cleaned me up we laid down and just talked about random things. Favorite horror movies, stupid childhood memories, video games, stupid youtube videos we enjoy. For a while I really thought that Eren was going to be able to stay up all night, that was until he began to slowly fall asleep around five ish. It took about 10 or 15 minutes for him to finally fall asleep.   
  
He wrapped his arms around my waist while he was sleeping. I gently ran my fingers through his hair until he woke up. I watched the sun rise through the window, watched how the sun hit his tan skin. Watched how his body reacted to the sun and the new found light. How he didn't know that he was perfect was beyond me but it made him well, cuter. Being naive and oblivious was cute on him.  
  
After a while of just watching Eren sleep I was getting tired myself. Taking a morning nap sounded really nice but there was a school service in a few hours. Today was just the service, no school since Trost isn't some big city; it's more of a town.  
  
Eren had been asleep for a little over an hour before he needed to wake up. Gently I shook his shoulder; only accomplishing a small stir from him. Damn heavy sleepers. After a while of trying to wake him up I was tempted to slap him in the face. But that wouldn't be a very good idea and I really shouldn't do it but it was so tempting. Why was I such a bad person? Instead of slapping him I softly tapped his on his cheek until he woke up. It took a while but he woke up.  
  
He began to try and hit my hand away from his face in his daze of sleep. I smiled a small smile at his sleepy form.  
  
"I guess this means I lost the bet huh?" he asked in his beautiful I Just Woke Up Voice.  
  
"Yeah but you still kind of one."  
  
He gave me a smirk combing back his long hair with his hand, "Is that because I got to have my first gay intercourse with you?"  
  
Eren was confident after last night. Overly cocky to the point where it was nearly annoying. I think I didn't mind him being cocky was because he looked  sexy as all hell, like damn. His locks a mess but barely in his face, beautiful sleepy voice, lidded eyes just barely showing the passionate color of his gem eyes; He looked natural. I took his hand and held it, intertwining our fingers. "Yes that but also I made a deal with Hanji."  
  
"What kind of deal?"  
  
I let out a heavy sigh before meeting his eyes again, "When four eyes and I were shopping on Saturday she dragged me into Victoria Secret. At first I thought she was buying something for herself because I know she likes the bras they sell. But then, she asked me my size and got lace panties and thigh highs." Eren held onto every word that came out my mouth, it almost made the story comical. Almost, "I told her I wasn't going to wear them and then she came back with that every straight guy loves soft lingerie. That was when she came up with the deal," I let out another sigh before continuing. "She said that if I had sex with you and you were still into me after then I would have to wear the shit she bought the second time that we had sex."  
  
When Eren didn't say anything back to me, I thought he was mad. The laugh changed my mind, he covered his mouth with his free hand and continued to laugh. Eren laughed for a good minute and I just stared at him, lost for words. "Now why you were so confident and carefree about the bet was because you would have to wear it anyways."   
  
He shot me a kind smile and made my stomach do cartwheels. Why was Eren able to pull so much damn emotion out of me?   
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"How the hell should I know? I don't even know where my phone is." So I lied, in a completely un-classy way. Way to go Levi.  
  
He looked over at the window, "I'd say it's time to get ready."  
  
"Smart Ass," I said with a smirk.  
  
"You love my ass."  
  
"I love your dick in my ass."  
  
Eren barked out a laugh and walked his butt ass naked body to his closet. He pulled out a pair of boxer briefs and a t-shirt, slipping them on casually. "I'm going to go get our suits out of the dryer, I'll be right back." He gave me a smile before walking out of the room.  
  
These past few days have been amazing really. I got a relaxing ish weekend, I helped Eren move on in some way, I had hot gay sex with Eren, I felt truly happy for the first time since forever really. I don't know how he was able to get me to relax so much; how I was able to be myself without thinking to much about it around him. It wasn't until I started regularly talking to Eren when I was able to let my guard down even a little bit.   
  
Life was crazy and annoying, but I just have to put up with it.   
  
It took longer than I anticipated for Eren to come back with the suits. We both took a shower to get any left over cum and sweat off of us before getting dressed. For the most part we didn't say anything to each other. Just got dressed, got some coffee, and started walking to damn Maria High School.  
  
"Why don't you have a car? I mean, you have the money, you have a license, so why don't you buy one?" Thank my stupid ass to break the silence.  
  
"I don't really like cars?"  
  
"Well soon you're going to need to get one. For business trips when you become a big shot research doctor."  
  
He let out a small laugh before pocketing his hands. "Then I'll get one when I need one. But right now, I don't need one; I can just walk everywhere I want to."  
  
"Tch."  
  
"Why do you want me to get a car so badly?"  
  
"So that I don't have to walk everywhere." Eren just laughed at my response and I gave him a confused look, "What's so funny?"  
  
He didn't say anything just smiled at me. I stopped walking and took notice of the look in his eyes. It was mischievous and I was getting worried. When Eren picked me up and threw me over his shoulders, I knew I should have been worried. I hit his back and yelled at him to put me down but he just laughed at me. After a while I stopped fighting it and let him carry me. Some part of me knew that it was because I complained about walking.  
  
At least I didn't have to walk.   
  
Eren carried me all the way to school without a complaint. Damn my lack of weight. When he put me down I just glared at him; causing him to look like a puppy who got kicked.I rolled my eyes at him and grabbed his hand to pull him into the school. He laced our fingers together and I felt my face getting hot. Damn why was Eren to do this to me, it was rude and I wanted it to stop. I wanted it to stop but I didn't want it to at the same time.  
  
Emotions should die in a hole.  
  
  
  
The whole service was fairly boring, nothing really went down. Teachers and Students alike spoke about Mikasa and how much they miss her. It just felt the same as yesterday, just with different people. One thing I noticed was that more teachers cried than students. Personally I thought more of the senior class would be in tears, but not really. I would have to ask Eren about it later.  
  
Eren and I left as soon as possible. Mainly because he didn't want to get all emotional again.   
  
I made sure not to complain about walking again so that he didn't pick me up. I could walk, I didn't need to be carried all over town.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
-Eren's POV-   
  
  
After the service, Levi complained about how he really needed to cut his hair. Resulting in us going to Maria's Cuts to get his hair cut. Personally, I liked his hair long. It was quiet beautiful. I opened the glass door for him and he walked to the counter. I watched his small figure talk to the even smaller girl behind the counter. She had short strawberry blonde hair and honey colored eyes. The girl seemed to be acquainted with Levi before today. She must always cut his hair or something.  
  
The small girl took Levi back to get his hair prepped for cutting. She laughed every once and a while and Levi would smirk. He looked natural around her, but he looked natural around everyone. That's what I really enjoy about him. Even if he doesn't like you, he will still care about you. He wants the best for everyone, even the people who treat him like shit.  
  
I don't know why people would treat him badly, he's a doll. He's courteous, adventurous, funny, amazing, beautiful. Levi was everything anyone wanted. He's accepting and open. I watched as he told the girl how he wanted his hair cut and she got straight to work. She gained a very focused face as she trimmed the top two layers of his hair, ignoring the other locks of hair. She trimmed his bangs and put down the scissors in favor of an electric razor. Very carefully she shaved off the ignored locks of hair, letting them fall to the ground.  
  
She was done perfecting everything after five or so minutes. Levi paid and walked back over to me with his new undercut. He looked, well no other way to put this but he looked, Sexy. Sexy and cute at the same time, he didn't look so confident, more insecure than anything. I didn't want him to feel that way when he looked this amazing. I grabbed his hands in mine and gave him a soft kiss. "You look great," I stated simply.  
  
"Shut up," he replied with a blush.  
  
Levi was just so cute. I ran my hands on the short hairs of his undercut. The hair was still soft like his longer locks of hair. His hair line was just off from the center and his bangs were parted just off the center. It was different from his old hair style but worked just as well. I don't know how he could just draw my attention. It really wasn't fair if you thought about it.  
  
He did a fairly good job at making me feel comfortable and emotional but I was never able to pull a lot of emotion out of him. Levi always seemed closed off and at the same time so open. He was the most confusing person I've ever met yet still I felt like I knew everything there is to know about him.  
  
My relationship with him was strange.  
  
I grabbed his hand and laced our fingers together. I loved how small and petite his hands were; just another thing that made him so damn cute. We walked out of the store the female saying goodbye before we left. She seemed really nice and young; probably just out of college.  
  
"So what do you want to do now that you have you're hair cut?" I asked.  
  
"We are going to get you a car," he said with a small smirk. I should have saw that coming. It has started to get warmer and humid. I let out a small laugh before squeezing his hand.  
  
"I guess getting one wouldn't be such a bad idea."   
  
Seriously how could he get me to do anything? If he wanted to do something, I was completely on board with it. Like if Levi wanted to drop everything and move to France I would go with him. Why did he have so much power over me? It was going to backfire on me for being so passive towards him.  
  
We didn't say anything on the way to the dealership. When we arrived at the shop we were greeted by a blond man with fairly thick sideburns. He looked like Tim from Marble Hornets, except blond. "Hello my name is Thomas, can I help you two with anything?" He was polite which was good.  
  
Before I could speak, Levi spoke for me, "This kid needs a car."  
  
"Alright then, what type of car are you looking for?"  
  
I couldn't let Levi pick out everything in my life, I was a big boy I could pick out my own car. "A convertible would be nice," I said before Levi could say anything. He gave me a pleased look before nodding his head at Thomas. One thing I really noticed about Levi was that he such a woman. Controlling and caring at the same time.  
  
Thomas was a nice guy, he showed us a lot of different cars, and when we settled on the 2015 mustang convertible he offered a reasonable price. All time best car dealer. It was way easier than most trips to the dealership. He had us in a wonderful dark silver mustang in less than two hours.   
  
I put down the top before I set off in a car that was well needed. Levi seemed happy that he didn't have to walk anywhere. Occasionally I would look over at Levi and catch him smiling, his hair wind blown. Again, he impressed me beyond belief. How could one guy look like a professional model without even trying. Right now I really wished that I knew how to take quality pictures so I could capture moments like this. Capture the accidental modeling moments.  
  
We didn't say much as I just drove around town without any set goal in place.   
  
I don't know what I was doing in my life anymore. There wasn't any real plan for my life anymore. I Have to start over again, with a new base and new goals. Personally I wasn't complaining I had a wonderful boyfriend who cared about me and made me feel happy no matter how shitty my day. He's helped me grieve in a healthy way not to give up on everything. He helped me get back on my feet and be a good person again. Levi was special and I'm so glad that he was in my life now.  
  
Life was fucked up in so many ways that you need ten people's fingers to count a forth of the fucked up things.  
  
"I'm so glad that you got this car," Levi gave me a small smile.  
  
"I can tell, you're so relaxed."  
  
"I don't have to worry about my short ass falling behind." I glanced over at him noticing that he was staring at me. His eyes again had a hint of gold and once again they were beautiful. I looked back at the road, slowing down at the light. The buildings around us were covered in ivy and looked abandoned. "Aren't we in Old Rose County?"  
  
I looked around one more time taking in the view. Levi was right, I drove us to an abandoned part of Trost. "Yeah we are," I looked back up at the light and it was still red. Figures that it would be broken. I let out a soft sigh and drove past it. We drove on the empty streets of Rose County pointing out different places we thought were nice.  
  
We drove on a dirt path to the top of the old look out. Rose County used to be populated and beautiful. Everyone wanted to live in Rose but it was hard to afford a house in the county. Only Trost's richest and best were able to live there permanently. The fall of Rose came out of no where, with a fire that was to big for anyone to stop. It killed the power lines and most of the people. The fire was tragic and Rose County was never fixed, to much grief. I parked the car on the cliff before looking over at Levi. His ora was completely different; instead he looked lost and worried. I poked him catching his attention, "Are you okay?"  
  
"Not really," he didn't lie and say that he was fine. Levi was being honest.  
  
"Want to talk about it?"   
  
"Do you think it will help?" Levi looked over at me, the gold still in his eyes. He was vulnerable.  
  
"We talked when I was having trouble with Mikasa, so yes. I do think that if you talked about it."  
  
Levi let out a small sigh before moving to face me, "About eight or so years ago Kenny stopped coming home. The Rose Fire had already happened and everyone had given up on this county. When Kenny would come home after not being home for days, he would yell at me, tell me that my mother shouldn't have given birth to me. I would be so emotionally broken and I would run here while Kenny got shit faced. After a while I would bring a razor and I would sometimes cut myself. Never to deep but enough to draw a good amount of blood. I was suicidal and depressed, I didn't want to live my shitty life anymore. For years I came to this spot and I would cry and I would cut myself. My skin's just pale enough that no one notices the scars. This place holds way to many painful memories but some how I'm dealing with it. I don't know how I am coping but I am."  
  
I could tell he was confused, "I'm proud of you for coping Levi. For not cutting yourself because you are amazing. I hope that things work out between your uncle and you."  
  
"The thing is, I don't know if I want things to work out. He was only an emotional bully in my life. Kenny never cared about me, he just cared for my mother, his sister. I know that he wanted her to get an abortion but she just wouldn't When she found out she was pregnant she stopped working at the damn whore house and tracked down my father. She loved him and he loved her but they knew that nothing good would happen if they got married. Me being conceived changed that. They got married and she gave birth to me. Only took two years to go to hell," he looked down at his hands, rubbing them together.  
  
There was a lot more to Levi than everyone thought. He wasn't just some emotional suicidal teenager. There was a past and a lot of pain behind him. All Levi wanted to do was start a new but he's to scared of change and to face the world that he doesn't do anything.  
  
"I sound like a total sap, talking about my problems."  
  
"No, I'm glad that you told me. There is a lot that I don't know about you and I want to get to know you better. We are dating after all," a small pink dust appeared on his face. "And I want you to talk to me about these types of things. You can tell me every tragedy you've ever experienced and I won't get annoyed. I want you to be happy," sometime during my little talk I grabbed his hands.  
  
Levi coming into my life was a wonderful thing that I wouldn't change even if I could. Things were strange but it was different and I was enjoying everything. The sexy new boyfriend, the caring attitude, the fucking amazing gay sex. I felt happy and I didn't feel like I was betraying Mikasa. Things were better.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beautiful babies all adorable and caring! I just love how Levi is such a wife towards Eren, it's so cute. They are so amazing I love them so much, like I don't even think I can explain it.
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it was fun to write.  
> Remember Comments/Reviews and/or feedback is greatly appreciated! 
> 
> PS If you want updates I post updates on my IG - @ereri_panda  
> <3  
> Thank you for reading lovelies.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is so unfair for him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! Another chapter! Are you ready to cry your eyes out? no? Well.... I'm sorry but this chapter is very feelsy and emotional and stuff.
> 
> Also this chapter may be triggering to some people so jut... Be careful and know that I love all of you and don't want anything to happen to you guys. All of you are amazing people and I don't want you doing anything stupid. <3
> 
> Try to enjoy this oh so painful chapter that I finished at 8:30 in the morning.

Monday was one of the best days of my life, not that there was much of a competition. Eren got a car and I didn't have to run to keep up with his walking. Damn his long legs and my short legs. It wasn't fair, but what in this world was fair. Eren was an angel and I was a short piece of shit.  
  
After we hung out --Which may or may have not had a very intense make out session involved-- at Old Rose he drove me home and walked me to my door. Made me think that he was more than just an angel, he was beyond perfect and I couldn't get over it. He kissed me on the forehead and said goodnight. Eren was the perfect gentleman angel perfect being thing. Man I suck at words.  
  
Tuesday went well as well, in it's own ways.   
  
People kept staring at me like I was a new student. No one knew talked to me but people were well, nicer to me than they normally are. I didn't get teased about my short ass once the whole day. Maybe they were just doing that behind my back.  
  
But the strangeness didn't stop there, my teachers were being extra careful around me. Telling me that they were sorry and that they hope everything turns out okay. I understood why they would say that to Eren but me? It was an okay day but just strange.  
  
The rest of the week was strange as well, the staring decreased but new people were talking to me, and instead of insulting me they complimented me. Teachers kept giving me pitiful looks every now and then. I learned to ignore everyone and just focus on Eren; making sure he didn't do anything stupid. Hanji kept telling me that I was acting like a wife towards him. I don't see it, I'm just watching out for him. Friend, lovers, and family do that why is it wrong if I care for him. It's not like I'm acting like a mother towards him.   
  
When Saturday finally came I couldn't have been happier. I got the whole weekend to myself, Eren was taking a weekend trip to University of Sina to look closer at the Med program to see if he's sure he's going into research. The weekend was going to be about finishing the next chapter of Eternity.   
  
The first thing that I did when I woke up on Saturday morning was go down stairs to make some tea. Drinking tea always helps me write.  
  
I had my tea and I started typing like mad on my laptop that I brought downstairs with me. The plot line for the chapter was planned out, the main character Jackson is accused of murder and has to go through trials. Not much to it, but it was going to be a very interesting chapter. Must have something to do with the fact that Jackson's lady friend getting a little to close. I don't write smut, I just imply it when it's needed.  
  
Everything was going great, I was almost done with my chapter, four eyes hadn't bothered me all day, and I wasn't feeling like shit. Didn't smoke a cigarette all day either. Sadly knowing me, I can't have a nice day, something has to be messed up, something has to go wrong. Today was just hell when I heard a car outside my house.  
  
At first I thought it was Hanji but when I looked out my window I almost hurled. There parked on the street was a car I never wanted to see ever again. It was Kenny's fucking DUB. I ran to my door and locked it, I never wanted to see him ever again. Never for the rest of my life did I want to see him again; and yet there he was walking up to the door and opening it with a hand in his pocket. He was still wearing the same phedora and my father's blazer.   
  
Kenny was out of my sight and I sat nervously on my bed. Getting lost in my thoughts; Why was he here? Why would he ever come back? I thought I was a failure to him? What happened? Did he get one of his whores pregnant? Did he end up just like my dad?   
  
I was too lost in my thoughts I barely heard the knock on my door. I didn't want to answer, I didn't want to let him know that I was home. Ignoring him didn't help, he just kept knocking on the door. Why couldn't he just go away? When I didn't want him he came and when I didn't need him he left. Kenny never wanted to be a father he wanted me dead. He thinks his sister my mother made a mistake not getting an abortion.  
  
"Levi, I know you're in there." They voice was different from what I remembered. It was deeper than when I was 13.  
  
"Go the fuck away Kenny!" I yelled from my bed.   
  
"Not this time Levi, we need to talk."  
  
His voice was serious and I didn't want it to be. "Five years of not talking and now you want to talk? Bullshit, you just want to tell me about what a failure I am, that I was just a mistake." I knew yelling at him wasn't a good idea but it felt good to do so. He was an asshole and I wanted him to go away forever.  
  
"I'm here because you're all I have now. I just found out my brother died along with his family. You're my only family and I want to make things right. I'm sorry for everything I've said to you. I was scared and I still am. Taking care of you wasn't my first choice, you were supposed to live with your other uncle instead of me. But you just liked me better. You would cling to me and scream when I wasn't around. I didn't want you to get attracted to me so I pushed you away. I knew I would suck as a parent and I treated you like an adult once you turned seven. Levi I'm sorry but you need to know the truth." I didn't want to believe him.  
  
  
  
-Hanji's POV-  
  
  
Oh sweet Saturday of Joy!  
  
I was going to spend the day with my hubby and get to gossip about my short baby to Erwin. Today of April 20 something I was going to celebrate the almost exact month away from graduating. Going off into the big world and finding cures for everything imaginable. Science research was my calling and I couldn't wait!  
  
I'm not crazy.  
  
After I showered I picked out a yellow and white lace sun dress. Levi helped me pick it out when we went shopping for him. I grabbed my white heals and put on my makeup. Just a simple black cat eye and soft pink lipstick. I kept my hair down and put on my new glasses. Things were going great. My baby Levi was dating his prince, I was in a happy relationship, and my dream job wasn't going to be a dream.  
  
PHD for science and become the best researcher that ever lived. That's the hope anyways.  
  
When Erwin knocked on my door I ran downstairs to open the door for him. He was wearing a semi skin tight dark blue button up with black pants. Erwin looked so beautiful it was amazing. I smiled at him and he smiled back, "You have a double smile."  
  
I let out a hearty laugh and grabbed his hand, pulling him to his car. Erwin was well off and had a beautiful convertible, what type I didn't know. I don't know cars. That was his thing, not mine. I knew science not engineering. "You should know better than anyone about my double smile, you put it there. Now open this baby."  
  
He let out a small laugh and opened the passenger door for me. I slid in and the door closed behind me. Erwin was the perfect gentleman, but only really to me because he knew what would happen if he ever betrayed me. I could be a crazy maniac when I was mad. In middle school when I was still a guy I was voted scariest when man. I beat Rico by 20 something votes.  
  
Erwin drove us to the restaurant where we had our first date, The Silver Garrison. Ever since the first time that I came here I've loved it. It was a family type restaurant and the owner Hannes was a very nice man.  
  
  
  
After dinner we went for a walk in Rose park. It was a beautiful day, birds flying through the sky, flowers blooming, trees budding, everything was so peaceful. That was until my phone started going off in my shorts under my dress. I pulled it out and saw it was from my baby. With a smile I answered, "Hello my sweet darling. What do I owe this pleasant surprise."  
  
"I just found out that Mikasa was my cousin and that Kenny is my only family now. This might sound like normal news but it's really not. Kenny wants to be in my life again and that he was just scared. That he didn't want me to live because he didn't want me to have a shitty life. He didn't want to risk me living with him. Then," Levi paused and I could here him chocking up on his words. "After Kenny explained everything, he pulled out a gun and he, he, he shot himself. He's dead, Hanji. I'm all alone now."  
  
"Levi, you are not alone, don't do anything stupid, I'm coming over right now." I hung up the phone and turned to Erwin, "Call the police and tell them to go to Levi's house."  
  
He didn't ask questions just pulled out his phone and walked with me back to the car. Luckily it didn't take long to get to Levi's house and sure enough there was Kenny's DUB on the side of the road. I rushed out of the car and ran inside of Levi's house, I screamed out for him with no response. "Levi!" I searched the whole bottom floor before I smacked myself into the face for checking anywhere but his room. I ran upstairs and found Levi on the ground with his body covered in blood and the gun in his hands.  
  
Levi didn't see me or hear me yelling at him. He pointed the gun at his thigh and shot himself. Levi screamed out in pain but didn't stop. He shot his forearm, his shoulder, and then he pointed it to his head. I pushed through shock and ran towards him knocking the gun out of his hand. My baby was trying to kill himself and I wouldn't let him do so. Levi might get angry at me a lot but I cared about him very much. "Erwin! Get here now!"  
  
He rushed over to me and picked up Levi. It wasn't what I really wanted him to do but it worked. We walked down stairs and waited for the ambulance to come. Kenny was dead and my baby was passed out in my darlings arms. Might as well bring my other baby into this; I pulled out my phone again and called Eren; I called him several times but he didn't pick up a single time. Once the ambulance came I gave up and called Pixis.   
  
"Hello Hanji!"  
  
"Meet us at the hospital as soon as you can. Levi shot himself."  
  
"Which one of you are going to ride with him?" The paramedic asked, I raised my hand and entered the ambulance. Erwin told me he would meet me there and that everything would be okay. I wanted to believe him but I've known Levi for four years and in those four years I've learned that he's avery delicate person. He was someone who you had to be very gentle with because no matter how strong he may act, he's lonely and tired of the world. He just wants everything to go away and he will do anything to get away from life. I've seen it before, his other attempts. Every time I had to rush him to the hospital by myself.   
  
I was busy with watching Levi I didn't notice that Pixis hung up the line. They rushed him to the hospital and tried to tell me that everything was going to be okay as they tried to stop the bleeding.  
  
There was nothing I could do but hope for the best. To think that it's possible for someone to be having a great day to attempting to kill themselves. I stared down at Levi's seemingly lifeless body. He looked so helpless his small figure covered in blood, his hair a mess, his marble skin now stained red from both his and Kenny's blood. Life was just to hard on Levi, he was an amazing person that just wanted no one else to feel real pain.  
  
Levi was my baby and I loved him like one. He didn't care that I was once a dude, he didn't care that I was dating Erwin, he just was happy that I was happy; even if he didn't show it very often.   
  
If only people could see that.  
  
  
  
  
Once we got to the hospital they rushed him to surgery, I told them that I was his sister and they let me watch the surgery. Maybe lying to them wasn't a good idea but I couldn't let him wake up and there be no one there.   
  
So much blood, they removed the bullets from his body; luckily none of the bullets hit anything important.   
  
This attempt didn't make sense. He didn't hit anything important and he shot himself three times before trying to shoot out his brains. Not to mention, he called me before. Now that I thought about it, it really didn't seem like an attempt; more like a cry for help.   
  
  
  
After surgery I tried calling Eren again, it was about 5:30 something in the evening. What ever he was doing he had to of been done by now, right? He picked up after the second ring, I didn't wait for him to say hello, "Get you're beautiful prince ass to the hospital right fucking now."  
  
"Why what happened?" there was a hint of panic in his voice and I could only imagine how he is going to react when he sees Levi on this bed.  
  
"Levi happened, I'll explain more when you get here."  
  
"Okay," I could tell he was worried, scared, confused. Maybe the way that I worded it wasn't the best choice. But honestly I rather here that than 'You're boyfriend shot himself three times'. Then again, that might have gotten him here sooner.  
  
Erwin placed a hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him with a small and forced smile. There were two boxes in his hands, most likely food. He offered a box to me and I shook my head refusing the food. "Hanji you need to eat something."  
  
"I'll eat when Eren gets here," I replied.  
  
"He's driving all the way from SU," he said. I turned and gave him a confused look. "You didn't know, Eren was checking out if he's going into research or not."  
  
I looked back at the food and grabbed the box.  
  
  
  
  
"Holy shit," the sound of Eren's voice woke me up. I sat up from leaning on the bed. He was in a panic, running to Levi's side and tears building up in his face.  
  
"Doctors say that he's going to be okay."  
  
"What the hell happened Hanji?"  
  
Eren was become demanding and I didn't like it but I also couldn't blame him. Just proved my point that he was helplessly in love with Levi. They made each other happy and that made me happy. "Kenny's dead," those two words shut him up and I took it as a sign to keep talking. "He came back because his brother died. Mikasa's dad. He told Levi the truth behind everything and then shot himself in the head right in front of him. A completely insane thing to do in front of someone who constantly thinks about killing themselves. He called me and then when I got there he had the gun in his hand and he ended up shooting himself three times. Now, we're here."  
  
There was a silence between us.  
  
  
  
Dear whoever is watching out for my babies, make sure that they live long and meaningful lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some one hold me... Please.
> 
> My babies!!! Why must I be so hard and mean on them?! They are my baby dolls yet I can't stop putting them through so much suffering.
> 
> I'll make it up to you guys in the next chapter which will be super fluffy because I think we all need some fluffy love from these two dolls.
> 
> Anyways, I hope that you guys didn't cry out your souls and enjoyed the day in the life of Hanji.
> 
> Like always, comments/reviews and/or feedback is greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading dolls.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren helps with my depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Chapter 12 must have magical fluff powers because some how I finished this chapter while dealing with Family issues. But I am NOT complaining.
> 
> This chapter have fluff and smut so hopefully the tears of the last chapter will be forgiven. 
> 
> Enjoy the cute chapter <3

I really don't know what I was thinking when I shot myself. I don't think that it was an attempt but the chance that I was okay with dying right then and there. My only family was dead. Everyone that shared my DNA was dead, I was the only one left. The last real Ackerman.  
  
Gently I ran my fingers through his long chocolate locks. Eren fell asleep while I was asleep; when I woke up he was on my bed cuddled up next to me. It was surprising that the nurses let him do this since it was only a few days after I shot myself. Maybe it has to do with that I'm a psych patient and I was going to have to go to the dumb inpatient metal hospital once I was stable enough.  
  
The nurses said that Eren would be able to visit me when I'm in the hospital. Hearing that news was such a relief.  
  
Eren shifted a little in his sleep, slowly opening his eyes. He gave me a small smile of relief and I was so happy to see that smile on his face. Every time that I was awake, Eren was either at school or he was asleep. "You finally woke up," I stated to his sleepy form.  
  
"You're the one that finally woke up. Whenever I come to visit you, you're always asleep."  
  
"Well, we're both awake now." I gave him a small smile.  
  
"I missed your smile," his voice was smooth again. I locked our gazes together as Eren slowly came in for a soft kiss. His lips were soft and warm like before. Like I remembered them being. Just kissing him reminded me that I wasn't alone. He loved me and I loved him. I didn't need my family, I needed to start a new one. Have a new life with Eren.  
  
"I missed you," I said when the kiss broke.  
  
"I love you so much Levi. You're amazing in every way and I never want you to get hurt. I care about you more than I care about becoming a doctor and you know that, that's been my dream since I was five." I laughed a little at his comment. He grabbed my hand and laced our fingers. "Everyone says that I love you because you're similar to Mikasa, but my love for you is real because you are amazing. I love you because you are you and that's all I've ever wanted. You are my angel Levi and I love you so damn much."  
  
"I'm hardly an angel," I said after Eren finished confessing his love. Honestly just leave it to me to ruin the moment. Just leave it to me.  
  
"You're more than an angel Levi."  
  
"You should get your eyes checked."  
  
"I'm trying to compliment you but you just keep pushing it away." He wasn't wrong. I always did that, always have. It was very hard for me to accept a compliment, maybe because I wasn't used to getting them from anyone but Hanji.   
  
Eren was seriously to good for me. Why would he waste his time with pitiful me, but asking him would be pointless. Not sure if that was a good or bad thing. I looked down at our laced hands, "Sorry, I'm just not used to compliments," and back at his eyes. "I hate words I just want everything to be easy."  
  
"I know, and I'll try to make everything easy for you because that's the least you deserve."  
  
"We could go on about how much you do but thats something I don't want to get into right now." There were several things I could have said but I was still in the hospital; Sadly. "Either you're being dirty or you're embarrassed. I don't know which one I'm hoping it is.  
  
"Just shut up and kiss me you idiot," I pulled him in for a passionate kiss.  It was strange being taller during a kiss since I'm at least a head shorter than Eren. Also, it didn't help that Eren was probably going to grow another four or five more inches. He's already 5'10.9".  
  
  
  
  
  
Over the past few days Eren has been visiting me everyday always so happy to see me. It was a wonderful sight to see his face light up whenever he saw me. Every time that he walked into my room my day would get so much brighter. He made everything better and I could never get enough of him. I loved Eren with all of my short ass heart.   
  
We would talk about anything, what I'm missing at school, stupid shit that Jean did, Reiner's failed attempts to get laid, what we loved about each other, the future. Over the days we decided to get an apartment when Eren goes to med school at Sina. Also we're getting a cat with the new place. Everything was going so well and I loved every moment of life now. I didn't feel so depressed anymore and the doctors agreed with me. Normally they make you go to Brook Lane no matter what but from what the nurses said, they are going to let me go home instead of the mental hospital. When I got the news I was so relieved. The only reason I was comfortable with being at Trost State Hospital was because Eren was there for the most part. He made things bearable, he kept the painful memories at bay.  
  
I couldn't thank him enough for being part of my life. Couldn't thank Eren enough for holding me and letting me cry when the pain got to strong. He was mine and mine alone and I wasn't going to screw up my relationship with him.   
  
He was there when I was being discharged, he drove me back to his house, and let me stay at his house until I was ready to go back to my own. The police had cleaned away all the blood and any traces that something happened in the house already but the memories were still there. When I was ready to go back, Eren would be right next to me, helping me with every step.  
  
How did I end up with someone so perfect.  
  
I sat on Eren's bed writing the next chapter of Eternity. Writting has become so much easier, there are more thoughts flowing through my head about ideas for each chapter, and the words just flow off my fingers. It's an amazing feeling to just be staring down at my keyboard and write 2,000 words without even realizing.   
  
It may have been because the school told me that I didn't have to go back to school until graduation if I didn't want to. That fact was amazing. No more stupid people telling me that I was a mistake, no more staring, no more idiots. I could just sit back and write my soul out until Eren got home. They offered to give him the rest of the year off but Eren didn't think that it would look good on his record. Damn his over achieving ass.  
  
Little did I know I stopped typing and there was a bulge in my sweatpants. Leave it to me to get hard by thinking about Eren and his perfectness. Then again, who wouldn't get hard over him. I checked the time on my computer, 1:57 pm. If I started now then by the time that Eren got him he could fuck me into the mattress. I stood up and placed my laptop on Eren's desk before laying back down on his bed. I reached over to the nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube and a fresh butt plug/vibrator. Eren got me a butt plug that also doubles as a vibrator. It was the best toy I could ever have inside of me.  
  
It wasn't until I was about to have sex or masturbate that I realized that I was such a cock slut. Eren didn't help with his beautiful sex voice dirty talking to me. Who wouldn't get turned on by that. Eren was a sex god, like damn.  
  
I unwrapped the plug after I stripped myself down. When my cock was free I remembered that I had a deal that I needed to go through with. I had to wear the damn thigh highs and lace panties. I walked over to Eren's closet and searched for the pink Victoria Secret bag. When I found it I let out a sigh and reminded myself that Eren would love it. I wouldn't doubt that he's jacked off to the thought of me in female lingerie.I wouldn't doubt it, I really wouldn't.  
  
Looking through the bag I had a lot of options. Figures. I ended up going with a pair of light blue lace panties and black thigh highs with Lace at the top. Hanji did well on picking things that would look good on my stick legs. Slipping on the garments was fairly hard to do when you have a ragging boner, thanks Hanji. When I finally got them on I had come up with an idea to tease Eren. I still had about 15 minutes until Eren was done with school and an extra seven or ten minutes for the drive home.  
  
I laid back down on the bed and spread some lube on my fingers. Gently I moved the lace panties away from my entrance and slowly pressed one finger into me. I moved in and out adding another finger soon after. Eren did a good job of stretching me with his large cock that fingering myself was easy. I thought about how big Eren's cock was as I fingering myself with four fingers. I let out a soft moan whimper noise as I took my fingers out of myself.  
  
It was time to start the teasing. I grabbed my phone with my clean hand and opened up iMessages selecting Eren's and mine conversation. Snapchatting him would be better but I don't snapchat. Never have and never will. I just don't see the point. I took a picture of my flushed face and sent it to him. My face was beyond wrecked and I didn't even have Eren cock in me. I really was a cock hungry slut. I should really be embarrassed but I wasn't, Eren liked it so I didn't really care.  
  
Not even three minutes after I sent the picture Eren responded.  
  
 **From Eren - Jesus Levi, I'm in the middle of class and gaining a boner the more I look at the picture**  
  
I let out a small laugh and sent him another picture containing a more of my body, with a comment.  
  
 **From Levi - I need your cock Eren, I neeeed it**  
  
 **From Eren - You better have you're beautiful bubble butt stretched by the time I get home in the next few minutes**  
  
 **From Levi - Did you ditch class for my cock hungry self?**  
  
 **From Eren - Do you want my cock or not?**  
  
 **From Levi - So badly**  
  
 **From Eren - Then stop complaining, I'll be home in a few minute** s  
  
I cocked back my head and laughed at him. He was coming home just for my horny ass. I threw the plug off the bed and sprawled my body over his bed, awaiting his return.  
  
Eren is a man of his word, he was home in record time and I'm pretty sure some tickets are coming in the mail soon. He had the money and he didn't care. Eren flung open the door slamming it behind him making me jump a little. I moved my arms above my head, exposing my whole body for Eren to see. He let out a small string of curses before he started to strip down. I watch him remove the article of clothing quickly throwing them out of the way before walking over to me. Slowly he crawled onto the bed and kissed my neck down to my panties.   
  
"Fuck Levi, I could get off to the sight of you like this alone."  
  
"Just fuck me already," I was impatient and just wanted his cock in me right now.  
  
"But I don't want to see these beautiful panties go," he hooked his finger on the panties as I let out a moan. Eren could be so mean.  
  
"St-stop teasing me, just fu-fuck me al-already."  
  
He pressed his mouth to my ear and softly whispered in my ear, "How badly do you want my cock Levi." The words rolled off his tongue in a lower tone than normal. Eren was such a tease.  
  
"So badly," I moaned out.  
  
"You're stretched right?" I responded with a nod of my head, while biting my bottom lip. Slowly Eren moved his cock over my entrance teasing me even more. "Good," without warning he pushed into me. Quickly we gained a rhythm and we were going at it.   
  
Eren fucked me into the mattress just as my horny cock hungry ass wanted. His cock was everything I could ever want. He could get to me have up to four orgasms from his dick alone. I swear, Eren is a fucking golden tanned sex god. Never had I had sex this good since Mike and that was at the beginning of high school.   
  
After sex with Eren was almost as good as actually having sex with Eren. He would clean me up with a warm wet towel and hold me afterwards. I swear, Eren isn't human, he's way to good for his own good. It really surprises me that no one as taken advantage of him. Maybe it was because Eren is that person that you want to hate because they're so perfect but you can't because you're to busy falling in love with him.  
  
He had his arms around my waist possessively as we laid on his bed. We didn't say anything, just relaxed. I rubbed circles on his arm as he kissed my shoulder and neck. With my new undercut Eren didn't need to move my hair out of the way to leave love marks on me. Which said thing was his favorite thing to put on me. Says that it was so that no one would steal me away from him. Personally I don't think that's going to happen because he was the love of my life and who would want a grumpy shorty. Well besides Eren.  
  
I couldn't thank Eren enough for putting up with me.  
  
"I love you Levi, I love you so much."  
  
"I love you too Eren."  
  
"I'm taking the rest of the week off so we can drive to Sina City and start looking for apartments if you want."  
  
"That would be wonderful. Maybe we should look at cat shelters while we're out."  
  
"I don't see why not."  
  
Eren you doll. I loved him and he loved me for me. I couldn't ask for anything better. I snuggled closer to Eren and closed my eyes to try and get maybe an hour of sleep. My ass was sore and was hurting but it was worth it. Eren's dick was worth it. God why did I act like such a slut.  
  
He ran his fingers through my hair and over the shorter hairs of my under cut. It was a great feeling and slowly I was falling asleep quickly. If only Eren could help me go to sleep at night and for a whole night. A partner doesn't solve a sleeping disorder. But having a partner helps with my depression. Eren helps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Babies are going on a road trip in the next chapter! These next chapters are going to be very eventful so they might take a little longer to write. Just bare with me and enjoy the cuteness while it lasts.
> 
> Oh yeah after about two chapters of good times I'm going to be apologizing for more tear again. Just a warning.
> 
> I hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter and remember updates on how the chapters are going are on my Instagram - @ereri_panda  
> Also comments/reviews and/or feedback are greatly appreciated


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What a Perfect Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After just over a week I have finally finished this smutty chapter. It took so long and so much creativity and water and tea and food to get through this beautiful chapter.
> 
> I am beyond proud of my work.
> 
> Well I have nothing else to say in this so just enjoy this chapter.

Just as Eren had said we drove the five hours to Sina City to look for open apartments. We had a couple places in mind that were in our price range but we wanted to see them all in person before we made a choice. None of the websites said that if they allow pets, giving us another reason to check out the places in person.  
  
Eren put the top down and it was a great feeling. The sky was clear and as blue as Armin's eyes. I grabbed one of Eren many Ray Bands and I just sat back and enjoyed the wind blowing through my hair. Eren and I were in a comfortable silence with the occasional humming along to the radio. For some reason it felt like this was how it was supposed to be. That Eren and I were supposed to be together. Maybe him and I knew each other in another life, but thats just a guess.  
  
"What type of cat do you want to get," Eren said breaking the silence. I was conflicted if I wanted to answer or not. I was still in pain from getting fucked into the mattress yesterday.  
  
"I'm thinking a calico or an orange tabby. What type of cat do you think would be a good fit?"  
  
"I was thinking more of a russian blue."  
  
"Why a russian blue?" Now that we were talking I wanted to here his voice more.  
  
"Because they are soft and beautiful, much like you." I gave him a confused look at his statement to only get a laugh out of him. He found the strangest ways to compliment me, but I wasn't really complaining all that much. Eren was such a cliche but I liked it.  
  
"You're such a nerd," Eren barked out a laugh to my insult and we fell back into a comfortable silence.   
  
Silence wasn't so bad with Eren. He never felt awkward as far as I knew.   
  
  
  
  
The drive to Sina City was shorter than I thought.   
Everything was fancy and overly classy and I felt out of place. I sunk into my seat avoiding the walking stares from the people on the street. Sina was a beautiful city, almost as beautiful as Rose County. The buildings looked like marble and everyone was well off. There were plenty of small cafes and restaurants. Some of said cafes had terrible symbols, like this one had a green unicorn over a shield. I mean like seriously, why?   
  
Eren stopped the car and I looked over at him. "Here we are, apartment one." I looked up at the building, there was Ivy growing on the building and it looked pretty nice.  
  
"It seems okay."  
  
"You and your high standards."  
  
"Well I'm sorry that some places are filled with STD creeps. I'm not going to live in a filthy unclean place."  
  
"Can't blame you on that."  
  
We stepped out of the car and walked hand and hand into the building. The inside was just as nice as the outside. Should have expected a much from a Sina apartment. I looked around while Eren talked to the man behind the counter. The place looked like a hotel with the couches and computer in the lobby. Apartment one seemed okay so far but the actual apartment has to be as nice as the rest of the building for me to agree. Eren came and grabbed my hand, gently pulling towards an elevator. The man that was behind the counter was waiting for us with a small smile.   
  
Maybe it was just me but It felt like I was being stared at. I gripped Eren's hand tighter catching his attention. He places a soft kiss on my cheek in response. Eren was so adorable.  
  
We walked through a hallways of off white paint until we reached a dark brown door. The employe pulled out some keys from his black slim fitting pants and unlocked the door. He opened the door and stepped in, Eren and I following behind.  
  
I should have expected it was going to be nice, this was Sina City for fucks sake. The flooring was golden brown wood and the walls were that same off white color that was in the hallway. There was an open space right when you walked in and an arch doorway leading to a kitchen. Once again I walked away and explored the apartment. Eren didn't mind, he just wanted me to be happy.   
  
The kitchen was a fairly decend size; bigger than I would think an apartment. There was a seperate counter in the middle of the kitchen that was perfect size for me to lay on. God I was such a slut for Eren's cock. I was going to have him fuck me against the wall when we got back to his house.   
  
I moved on to the next room. It was empty and looked like a perfect place for an office. Perfect for me. The more I looked around the apartment the more I just wanted to move in right now. It was big enough for house parties; which would settle Eren's social ass. There was two bedrooms, an office space, a living room space, beautiful kitchen, and two baths. What luck Eren had to pick such a great apartment right away. I walked back to where I left Eren and the building land lord guy. "I like this one."  
  
"Okay I'll put it on the final list."  
  
Naive little shit, "No I like this one, I wouldn't mind living here." I turned to the land lord guy, "Does this apartment allow animals?"  
  
Once again he gave me this creepy kind smile. The more he looked at me the more I thought he was into me. He had flippy black hair and he looked like he had some muscle under his dress shirt but looking at Eren and his gem eyes. The land lord guy was no match. Eren was a prince and you couldn't get anyone better than him. "The building allows small dogs and cats."  
  
I walked to Eren's side and grabbed his hand, lacing our fingers. "I want this one."  
  
He gave me a small smile before squeezing my hand, "We're getting this one then."  
  
We walked back towards the elevator and back downstairs to the counter once again. I stood next to Eren has he singed papers and paid the first three months rent. The apartment was only maybe three or five miles from campus so Eren could easily drive to his classes each day. For once things were looking up for both of us. After all the shit Eren and I have indured it's about time that things start going our way.  
  
Eren and I walked back to his car and just sat. "What do you wanna do now? Get something to eat, go straight to Sina State Animal Shelter, or just walk around, maybe even look at some furniture."  
  
"I'm horny." Maybe being to blunt was a bad idea but who could really blame me. I was, I wanted him inside me right now. I always wanted Eren's dick inside of me.  
  
"I can fix that."  
  
He started up the car and drove to the nearest hotel. Eren rented a room and we ran hand and hand to our room. Never once did he fail to carry on my needs and take care of me. It was sweet and amazing. He could pleasure me all day and think it's a gift from me to let him please me. Eren was an angel and I couldn't thank him enough for just being him.   
  
Our lips connected as soon as the door closed. I  didn't even give him time to lick my bottom lip, I shoved my tongue in his mouth. He sucked on my tongue as I snaked my hands under his tee. Eren wasn't wearing anything special so I didn't mind messing them up. He helped me get his shirt off and then mine just as quickly. I rubbed my palm on his toned stomach, his tan skin was smooth without a single scar or imperfection. Eren was my perfect prince and I love him so much. I sunk down to my knees and undid his pants. "I'm going to suck you off like no woman as sucked you off before."  
  
"Oh real-" His snappy comment was cut of by a stuttering noise reacting to my mouth wrapping around the head of his cock. I ran my tongue over the slit of his cock earning me a pleasant moan from Eren. Slowly I took more of his cock into my mouth. Before I knew it his pubic was tickling my nose. I hollowed my cheeks and bobbed my head back an forth.  
  
Eren let out a string of curses and I hummed in response. I wasn't going to make a bad impression with my blow job skills. I went back to bobbing my head, only swirling my tongue around his cock at the same time. It wasn't hard to tell that Eren was getting unsteady, he had to lean against the wall to keep from falling.  
  
"Fuck Levi, argh, I'm close, so fu-fucking close." I hummed around his cock getting him to let out a stuttered breath. I alternated from going fast to going slow just to mess with him. "Levi you-you fucking asshole," he was so fucking amazing when he was getting sucked off by a small gay guy. "Fuck Levi!" he screamed out as he came into my mouth. I laughed a little as I milked him through his orgasm. I was beyond hard at this point and my little surprise felt like it was going to rip.  
  
"I could suck you off any day, just say the word." My voice was slightly hoarse but I doubt Eren would have noticed. His eyes were hooded and filled with lust.  
  
"After that, I'm going to ask you to suck me off more often."  
  
I laughed a little at him comment before standing up. A smirk grew on my face as I got the idea of teasing him a little more. I brought my finger up with his mouth and he opened his mouth and began to suck on it. "I want to play a little game," I said as Eren sucked on my finger. The more he did so the more I wanted him to suck me off but I was getting ahead of myself. "You can't touch me during sex, I will have total control. I will be allowed to touch you but you have to keep yourself from touching me. Every time you break this rule I add a restraint so you can't. Since this is your first time, you may buck up but you should try not to."  
  
Eren stopped sucking on my finger. "Am I allowed to stretch you?" he asked.  
  
I bit my lip before replying with, "No you aren't." I pushed Eren to the bed and he rested on the head rest. There was a smirk on his face and I knew this was going to be hard on him once it started. I was still pretty clothed, I had my pants with my surprise underneath, and a tank on. I stood at the end of the bed and turned around, teasingly playing with the hem of my shirt. When I heard Eren groan I knew it wouldn't be a good idea if I kept teasing him. At the end of this I do want him to pleasure me instead of me just pleasuring and teasing him. I was a horny teenager as well.  
  
Slowly I took of my shirt and started working on my pants, my back still facing Eren. "What are those straps?" I heard Eren ask. I kept quiet about the brown straps.   
  
Hanji and I had been working on this surprise secretly while I was still in the hospital. Apparently ever since Hanji was little she has had these strange dreams about humanoid creatures that eat people. Said people fought back with this gear that allows you to practically fly through the sky. Every time she brought the dreams up it felt like they really happened. Of corse I never would admit that out loud.  
  
I continued to strip myself down to just the surprise. Even before I turned around I could heard the conflicted groans coming from Eren. If I kept this going for much longer he was going to have a hissy fit and just fuck me against the wall. I wouldn't mind that actually. Now that I thought about it I kind of wanted to do that. There were to many things I wanted to do with Eren right at this moment.  "Fuck Levi if you keep this up I'm going to lose the game."   
  
Called it.  
  
Still I stayed silent and began to sway my hips seductively, slowly turning myself back towards him. Eren wasn't jacking off to my surprise but he could have been I just didn't know because I wasn't facing him. "Fuck me," he whispered under his breath. I laughed a little, my face warming up a little. I had brown straps wrapping around my legs with matching garter  belts, white thigh highs attached, and white lace panties.   
  
"Screw the game I want you to fuck me so hard I start seeing stars."  
  
"I want to fuck you so fucking hard against the wall."  
  
"Please do," I slipped off my underwear as Eren stood up and carried me over to the wall. He put me down and I placed my hands on the wall, arching my back. "You better fuck me so hard I won't be able to walk straight."  
  
"I promise I will," Eren slowly entered a finger into my asshole and made me wonder wear the lube came from. He stretched me quicker than normal and I wasn't complaining at all. Eren didn't waste time teasing me or abusing my prostate with his fingers until I came by his fingers alone. Before I knew it Eren was sticking his dick into me.  
  
Him and I never used condoms, we were both clean and Eren's raw dick inside of me was fucking beautiful and pleasurable. Eren trusted in and out of me quickly and rough, just like I wanted. More like we but I'm not thinking straight my brains are getting fucked into a mushy mess. I screamed out Eren's name more times than I could count as he fucked me.   
  
We were so loud I was worried that everyone in the hotel could hear us. At least they would know our names. "Er-Eren Ha-Harder!" I screamed out. Like the angel he was he obeyed my wishes. He trusted in and out of me even faster and with more force, never once missing a beat. I loved every second of sex with Eren, it was heaven and I could never get enough of it. There was a tight feeling of my stomach as I was reaching my peek. "Er-Eren I'm close! I'm Fu-fucking close!"   
  
Eren leaned close to my ear and whispered, "You like when I fuck you from behind, you cock hungry slut."  
  
"Yes," I moaned out.  
  
"Tell me you're a fucking slut," Eren's voice was an octave lower than normal and it was so fucking sexy.  
  
"I'm a fucking slut, I'm a fucking slut for you're big cock."  
  
"You bet you are."  
  
"Eren, Eren I'm gonna-" before I could even finish Eren started stroking me. It was enough to pull me over the edge. I came into Eren's hand as he stroked me through my orgasm. He matched he trusts with strokes and didn't once light up. Eren hadn't even hit my prostate and I was still able to reach an orgasm. Like I've said so many times before, Eren was a beautiful Sex God and I was so madly in love with him.   
  
I was still in the high of my orgasm when Eren came and the only reason I knew he came was the warm liquid filling me to the brim.  Eren pulled out of me and carried me to the bathroom, gently placing me in the bath tub. It was only one round but it was a long round one and I was beyond tired and sore. My legs were jelly and my ass hurt to sit down.   
  
Eren turned on the water and sat down behind me in the tub. I was in a haze as Eren washed the cum and sweat off of me. He dried me off and carried me back to the bed when he finally finished washing us off. Eren was an angel and I fucking loved him. Not only did he wash me he gave me a full body massage and jacked me off. Mainly because I blew him to his first orgasm.  
  
I couldn't think of a better way to spend my Wednesday. The middle of the week and I got to suck off my sex god boyfriend and get fucked into the wall.  
  
"Eren?"   
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I love you so much."  
  
"I love you too Levi."  
  
"I love your cock as well," I got a bark of laughter in reply.   
  
"I can tell."  
  
I moved closer to Eren and warped my arms around his slim waist. Gently biting and kissing at his stomach.   
  
"Levi?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You're fucking perfect and I love you so much. I never want to lose you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."  
  
"I would love to spend the rest of my life with you too."  
  
"I'll get you a ring one day, and We can get married."  
  
"That would be lovely."  
  
What a perfect day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, it's kind of official, they will be married! But way later on in the story. Eren still has to get through college and Levi has to have things happen and Eren has to have things happen. This fic has a lot that needs to happen before Levi and Eren can live in Homo Peace.
> 
> Well if you want updates on how the later chapters are going follow my instagrm - @Ereri_panda  
> Also thank you so much for all the positive comments and feedback, they really mean a lot to me. Just knowing that you guys like my writing and this story makes my shitty day a lot better.
> 
> That being said, comments and/or feedback/reviews are greatly appreciated 
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter and I hope you enjoyed the smut and dirty talking.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No You Don't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After many days of constant writers block and full blown depression I finished this chapter.  
> I feel so bad about this chapter because 2 shitty things happened.
> 
> Well, I don't know what other things to do or say or whatever. Just enjoy that chapter.

The rest of the week was perfect. Watching movies, drinking tea, going to cafes, parting with Reiner and Bertholt. Life was good until a week before graduation. When I woke up that morning Eren wasn't in bed. It was Five in the morning and Eren was already awake and out of his house. I got dressed in a lose brown long sleeve shirt that showed my collar bones and some ripped white jeans. 

If I knew Eren he would be at the beach. I grabbed my phone and my cigarettes before heading out of the house. It was a chilly morning as I walked to the beach. No surprise that Eren wasn't on the sand. I kept walking as the cliff got closer. Eren did a lot of odd things but waking up before the sun was even out was something he never did. The kid liked to sleep more than anything in the world. Well, maybe having sex was pleasurable for him since if I wasn't horny he was.

The wind blew at my pale skin and goose bumps formed on my arms. It was way to cold for such things. I mean seriously Eren, why did you wake up and go to the beach why didn't you just wake up and sit on the roof. At least there you could have a personal heater. Walking up the path to the cliff was easy but the higher I got the colder I became. I let out an angry groan and I kept walking.

Just as I thought Eren was on the cliff sitting with his legs hugged to his chest. You could tell something was bothering him. It was in the air that he was going through a lot of emotions.

I walked next to him and sat down, resting my head on his shoulder. Eren knew it was me, who else would come up here at five in the fucking morning. "What's bothering you Eren?" For once the words that came out of my mouth weren't shit and actually sounded concerning. Eren might be used to the fact that I suck at speaking but it still bothers me.

"Annie, she's bothering me."

It didn't make sense. Eren and Annie barely talked. Yes they were both going into the same type of field but Annie was going to be a medical doctor not a researcher. That and their past relationship was the only thing they shared. "What do you mean, she's bothering you? You guys barely talk to each other anymore after the breakup."

Eren let out a sigh before answering me, "I got a call around three in the morning from Bertholt. He was in a bigger panic than normal so that scared me. Once he was finally able to form words he told me that Annie got in a major car crash when she was out with Reiner. The whole thing makes me think of Mikasa and I don't want Annie to die. Yes I don't talk to her often but I still care about her. She's still my friend."

His voice trailed off and I looked up at him. His eyes were puffy like he had been crying and I knew this wasn't going to be easy. 

Eren had no romantic feelings for Annie anymore, I knew that. So the only reason why he would be crying is he's remembering Mikasa. She was a big part of his life and she's only been gone for about a month. I couldn't expect him to not still have bundled up feelings about her. For the longest time he believed that she was the love of his life. I couldn't blame him for feeling this way. Mikasa died because of a car accident and now Annie was suffering from one. For all I knew he thought he was cursed and that everyone he loves will die.

"She's going to be okay."

"I really hope so. I can't lose anyone else. Not this soon."

I let out a soft sigh before grabbing Eren's chin and kissing him softly. His eyes were hooded but I knew he was listening, "We will never be ready for the tragedies we are going to have to suffer through. The only thing we can do is when the time comes, to be mature about the problem and handle it in the best possible way. That's all we can do. We have to be adults, and wait and see where this takes us. I know you care about Annie and I'm sure whoever is looking out for your amazing ass won't make you suffer through another tragedy this soon."

"Thank you Levi," his voice was soft

"It's no big deal Eren," I responded, lost in his eyes.

"No, it is a big deal. You always do all these amazing things for me and I can never thank you enough. I love you Levi and everything you do. I have no idea how I'm going to repay you for all the amazing things you have done for me." What a fucking angel.

"You can pay me back by staying with me for the rest of my life. I love you Eren more than I could ever say in words. Just stay with me and we'll always be even."

"I can do that."

Eren kissed me softly and I smiled when it was over. When I was with Eren everything was easy. 

"We can visit Annie later today but lets go home and get something to eat. I'm freezing and hungry."

He just laughed a beautiful laugh and stood up. His smile was beautiful and it was amazing how he could hide his feelings so well. Almost as well as I could. Eren was still conflicted and worried. Probably thinking if he made the right choice. The right choice about dating me, giving up on Mikasa so quickly. I wouldn't doubt it, I would regret dating me too.

We walked down the cliff, Eren helping me when I felt like I was going fall. I was on less sleep than normal and falling asleep quickly. It was really strange how my sleeping habits were. I'm always tired but I can never sleep, perfect sense right. 

Personally I don't remember when Eren picked me up and carried me bridal style back to his house. But apparently that happened. I wasn't complaining, Eren didn't bring his car so we had to walk home. 

Carefully Eren laid me down on his bed, taking off my shoes and putting the covers over me. With the way he was acting it actually made me worried. When someone get to emotionally attached to someone they make stupid decisions. Same goes to if you are hung up on someone. Hence my worry for being a rebound. 

Everyone Eren cared about in the past was getting hurt so naturally he would be worried that I would get hurt. Doesn't matter if it was as serious as Cancer or as small as a bug bite. Even though bug bites where nasty, bugs in general weren't my thing. They carried way to many germs. 

I looked down at the covers as Eren changed into a pair of sweatpants instead of his slim fit blue washed jeans. Eren never really worse anything really fancy but yet I was still overly attracted to him. I think it's the eyes.

 

"How have you not seen Legally Blonde, it's a classic?!" Eren practically screamed. After a short nap and some breakfast we headed down stairs to Eren's basement to watch some movies. 

"The same reason you haven't seen Breakfast at Tiffany's," I replied.

"What's so great about Breakfast at Tiffany's?" Eren asked.

"Audrey Hepburn, that's what's so great about it."

"Wow, just wow."

"There are many reasons why Breakfast at Tiffany's is so amazing. That one is just my favorite. Who doesn't love Audrey Hepburn?"

"I don't know."

"Loser's thats who," I said before taking a sip of my scotch. 

"Okay well good thing I'm not a loser."

"No you're just a brat."

"Hey!" he said with a smile and a laugh. It was great to joke around with him. Made me happy, reminded me that not everyone in the world was a useless bastard. 

 

"What the fuck Jean?! Why do you come to my house to tell me I fucked up over something that you did!" Eren screamed at the two shaded haired idiot. Jean was a fucking asshole, always yelling at Eren for no reason. Telling him that he's a fucked up bastard, that he should break up with me, shit like that. It's really getting fucking annoying and I can't stand it anymore.

Today it was about Annie. It was eight at night and Jean was shit faced beyond imaginable. You could smell the alcohol on him, and not just on his breath. It was fucking disgusting.

While Eren was fighting with Jean it made me wonder if he would ever leave us alone. From the start it was strange between him and I. I really didn't know what was wrong with the dick wad, but there was something he held against me.

"Fuck you Eren! It's your fault! It's all you're fault!" Jean stormed into the house and into the room I was in. My peaceful evening tea was ruined by a drunk horse. His hair was a fucking mess and his clothes were wrinkly and gross. "Get up," he commanded me. Who did he think he was, telling me to stand up. If I didn't want to stand up I wouldn't. I just glared at him my tea still in my hand.

"You don't need to do anything this bastard says Levi." 

"Yeah yeah I know," I said before taking a drink of my tea.

"Get up you short ass!" Jean screamed at me. Already his idiotic behavior was giving me a headache. I just ignored him as Eren yelled at him to leave. 

After a while I just stood up and yelled at them both. "Shut up already you fucking Brats!" Apparently even I can be intimidating to two men that are heads taller than me. "Why the fuck are you here Jean? It doesn't make sense, what the hell is your deal?"

"My deal, my deal is you short ass is that, I, I think I fucking love you."

When the words left Jeans filthy mouth everything went quiet. Nothing made sense once I started hanging out with Eren. Everything would either be paradise or total hell for us. Hadn't we've been punished enough for shit we never did. The death of everyone, Annie in the hospital, Jean always being an asshole to us, now Jean saying he loves me. Like what the actual hell is going on.

"You don't love me Jean, don't say that." I looked over at Eren and he was still in shock, I felt like I was going to cry, and Jean was a shit faced loser.

"But I do love you, I love you so much!"

Someone needed to explain to him that just because you say something louder doesn't make it true. "No you don't Jean, stop saying that!" Now the tears were falling down my face. I knew there was something wrong with him but I didn't think this was it. "Stop stop just stop saying that. They aren't true so just stop." 

Knowing Jean, I should have known he wouldn't have just backed away. He was an 18 year old idiot. Still, the boy never stopped messing with my head. I wanted him gone but he wouldn't leave. I yelled at him to leave but he would yell at me saying he was in love with me and wouldn't leave. Eren was angry beyond belief but he didn't do anything. Just stood there in his rage. After a long time of yelling Jean just grabbed me and pressed his lips to mine. I kept my lips closed and waited out the kiss. Damn my small stick body.

Luckily Eren finally did something. He tackled Jean and started punching him in the face. I stood there watching Eren beat Jean's face in and I was enjoying it. He deserved it. Once I heard the crack of Jean nose I knew he had enough. I tried to rip Eren off of him. Tried being the key word in that sentence. I failed miserably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama Drama Drama. I feel so bad for my little Levi and Eren. And kind of Jean.
> 
> Now you just have to wait till the next chapter to see if Jean really menat what he said and everything that happened.
> 
> Remember, Feedback is greatly appreciated.  
> Thank you for reading the chapter <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why Don't You Just Get Married Already?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh My! What's this? Another chapter after only 2 days! WAA!!!   
> That's amazing! Yes I got out of my funk for a whole day and was able to write a lot of this chapter. 
> 
> I'm going to note this now that the beginning is kind of well Depressing. You can blame the after effects of my little funk.
> 
> All Poems are from She Walks in Beauty by Caroline Kennedy
> 
> Well Enjoy the chapter and the cuteness at the end.

  
I wanted to forget the whole night, kill it and burry it in acid.   
  
The scene of Eren smashing Jean's face in kept replaying in my mind and it was driving me insane. I didn't want any of this to happen. I didn't want anything bad to happen ever, but it seemed like that's all I caused. For as long as I hung out with Eren shit always happened. Their click never had big problems until I started hanging out with them. No one was sent to the hospital, they didn't beat each other up, everyone was in happy relationships. I fucked up their group.  
  
For the first time since the death of Kenny I went back to my house. I wanted to be alone, I didn't want to fuck up their group anymore.  
  
I didn't wait to see if Jean was okay, after a while of Eren not lighting up on Jean's face I ran. I ran up to Eren's room, grabbed my things and ran back to my own house. Slamming the door behind me.  
  
The whole day was shit, everything was shit. I hated everything, always have. I just tolerate some things and some people.  
  
  
  
 _That silence is the best: that action and re-_  
 _Action are equal: that control, discipline, and_  
 _Liberation are by words when spoken by an appraiser, that the_  
 _Accidental sometimes achieves perfection, loath though_  
 _we may be to admit it:_  
  
 _And that the realm of art is the realm in_  
 _Which to look for "fishbones in the throat of the gang." Pin-_  
 _Pricks and the unstereotyped embarrassment being the contin-_  
 _Ual diet of Artist. And in spite of it all, poets ask us just what it_  
  
 _Is in them that we cannot subscribe to:_  
 _People overbear till told to stop: no matter through_  
 _What sobering process they have gone, some inquire if emotion,_  
 _true_  
 _And stimulated are not the same thing: Promoters request us to take our oath_  
  
 _That appearance are not cosmic: mis-_  
 _Fits in the world of achievement want to know what bus-_  
 _Iness people have to reserve judgment about undertakings. It is_  
 _A strange idea that one must say what one thinks in order to_  
 _be understood_  
  
 **We All Know It**  
 _Marianne Moore_  
  
  
  
I kept reading poems from one of my favorite poem books, She Walks In Beauty. It was more of a girly book but I was a girly guy. At least that's what Eren always called me. I wasn't really complaining though. I was kind of girly guy, I liked clothes, lingerie, and boots with heals.   
  
Everything in my life was fucked, I fucked up everything. Always have, always will. My relationship with Eren was doomed. We were never going to have this happy family and live happily and grow old together. Eren was just dating me because I was similar to Mikasa. That was it. That was our relationship.  
  
  
  
  
  
Eren smashed Jean's face in on a Sunday and today was Saturday. I have been held up in my room for almost a week. Ignoring every call Eren or Hanji gave me. To my surprise no one tried to break into my house and Hanji had a key to my house. They just left me to rot in my room. Just more proof that I don't mean a single shit to them. Not even to Pixis. I was a fuck up to everyone and anything.  
  
  
 _In a field_  
 _I am the absence_  
 _of field,_  
 _This is_  
 _always the case._  
 _Where ever I am_  
 _I am what is missing._  
  
 _When I walk_  
 _I part the air_  
 _and always_  
 _the air moves in_  
 _to fill the spaces_  
 _where my body's been._  
  
 _We all have reasons_  
 _for moving._  
 _I move_  
 _to keep things whole_  
  
  
 **Keeping Things Whole**  
 _Mark Strand_  
  
  
Once I moved on, everything will be okay. The wind will still blow and fill the space. Everything would be fine, everyone will be fine without me. My space will be filled.  
  
  
  
  
It just an hour before the graduation ceremony. I put on my suit, and cravat, and graduation robe. But instead of walking to the school I was sitting on my bed staring at the ground. My room was dark and I felt like crying. Everything was bull shit and I just wanted everything to go away.   
  
The silence was broken by my phone ringing. I thought, it's been a week, I might as well talk to someone other than myself before I go insane. I looked at my phone and saw it was Erwin. Of all people it was Erwin. Reluctantly I picked up the phone. "What?" I asked.  
  
"Hanji and I are outside, we aren't going to let you miss this important day."  
  
"Fuck off, both of you."  
  
"I will go in a carry you all the way to school if you don't come out you midget."  
  
"I can run faster than you," I stated.  
  
"I'll just case you to the school."  
  
"Whatever, I'll be out soon. I don't need your fucking hands on me."  
  
I hung up and started walking out of my house. The damn asshole thinking he could just carry me. Lay his dirty hands on me. Just like he said, his stupid car was parked outside my house.   
  
  
  
  
The school was packed with people and I just wanted them all to go away and die in a hole. Not once did I see Eren until everyone finally sat down in their seats. There on the stage was my gem eyed prince. The man I am fucking in love with. His chocolate brown hair was getting really long now. His eyes were dull and he looked so sad. Eren didn't see me and I was happy that he couldn't see me. I looked like a total wreck. We both did.   
  
The stupid fucking ceremony started and the whole time I was just looking at Eren. I had no idea how much I could miss something. Eren was my world, I fucking loved him so damn much. I missed him, I missed being in his arms, and kissing him. I missed just being with him. Even if it was in an awkward silence. He was my prince and I fucking loved him so much that I would do anything for him.  
  
Only when they said Eren's name did I start paying attention to whatever the hell they were saying. Eren stood up from his seat on the stage and walked up to the podium.   
  
"Hi, it's really amazing all of us actually graduated. It seems like just yesterday we were all kids making dreams of being firemen and veterinarians. But at the same time, it feels like just yesterday I met the love of my life. Now I know a lot of you probably think that I'm talking about our dear Mikasa Ackerman that we lost to soon. No I'm talking about her cousin, Levi Rivaille Ackerman. He has helped me more in the past two months than my mom has in my whole 18 years of living. And those of you who know me personally know that she has had to helped me a lot." Eren got a few laughs from that, even a small smile from me. "Well this amazing guy has changed how I think about things and has kept me going through all these hard months. He was there when no one else was and is amazing in private activities." More peopled laughed that time, "With his help I was able to reach all my goals this year," I noticed that Eren was searching the crowd. At first I thought that he was just making eye contact with everyone but when his eyes met mine, our gazes locked. His eyes lit up when he saw me and I smiled at him. Eren made me happy and I really damn hopped that I made him happy too.  
  
Eren didn't disconnect our stare not once. I felt loved as he continued to speak, "With his help I was able to finish this year keeping all my titles. I love him dearly and I think that we all have a Levi. Someone that we love and care about. Someone who picks you up when you fall. I can't thank everyone who helped me enough through my life. My goal was to go into research at our local hospital but I want to help people. I've changed my mind and I'm going to help the patients at Trost Hospital, take on my own cases, run a team. But I won't be the only one helping people out. Because some of us will become firefighters, or doctors, or even just artist. Every job helps someone and I hope that we all can rise to the occasion and be the best we can be. Congratulations on the class of 2015 on Graduating!" When he finished his speech everyone was cheering and clapping. Eren was the ultimate role model and everyone loved him, but no one had his ultimate love.  
  
  
  
  
I was happy that I actually came to the graduation, everything with Eren was fixed. I was fixed. Eren was always able to fix me, in every possible way. I loved him so much and I couldn't get enough of him. I walked around outside, looking for him. It took a while, but I finally found him with his family. Mr and Mrs Yeager lit up when they saw me. The family was found of me and I wasn't complaining in the least.  
  
Eren didn't notice me until his mother pointed at me. I almost laughed at Eren's face when he saw me. He was so surprised and happy and over blown with emotion. I loved it and I loved how he walked over to me, cupped my face, and kissed me. After a week without speaking to Eren, I never wanted to go a second without seeing him ever again. We were moving into that apartment asap.   
  
When Eren finally stopped sucking on my face, he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. His mom laughed at us and I think we even got a small smile from his father.  
  
"When are you going to propose to him?" When Eren's mom said the words both Eren and I turned bright red.  
  
"It's only been two months," Eren said, stuttering in the process.  
  
"So, you know its true love, I know it's true love, everyone who sees you two on the street know it's true love. Just get over yourselves and get married all ready."  
  
"Give us some time," Eren said, not so flustered anymore.  
  
"Fine but you got to marry him one day," she said with a small smile.  
  
Everything was better now. Eren fixed me up and I couldn't thank him enough.  
  
  
  
 _Light the first light of evening, as in a room_  
 _In which we rest and, for a small reason, think_  
 _The world imagined is the ultimate good._  
  
 _This is, therefore the intensest rendezvous._  
 _It is in the thought that we collect ourselves,_  
 _Out of all the in differences, into one thing_  
  
 _Within a single thing, a single shawl_  
 _Wrapped tightly round us, since we are poor, a warmth,_  
 _A light, a power, the miraculous influence._  
  
 _Here, now, we forget each other and ourselves,_  
 _We feel the obscurity of an order, a whole,_  
 _A knowledge, that which arranged the rendzvous_  
  
 _Within its vital boundary, in the mind._  
 _We say God and the imagination are one..._  
 _How high that highest candle lights the dark._  
  
 _Out of this same light, out of the central mind,_  
 _We make a dwelling in the evening air,_  
 _In which being there together is enough._

**Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour** _  
Wallace Stevens_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I said I would explain the whole Jean, Eren, Levi thing. But I didn't. Oh welp. I'm not sorry!
> 
> I'm a mean mean mean person. It won't happen again, i promise.  
> Ha I lied, I don't make promises.
> 
> Well remember feedback means the world to me, I mean I love reading your comments and threoys about the fic. It lets me know you guys are enjoying it.
> 
> PS the next chapter is going to be a year in the future.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is Bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY!!! Another fab chapter! and the first chapter where nothing bad happens!
> 
> I really like this chapter and my little poem at the end. 
> 
> Well enjoy this update and this chapter <3

\- One Year After Graduation -   
  
  
  
"Oh come on, having kittens would be so adorable," For the millionth time, Eren was asking for another cat so we could have our own kittens again.  
  
"For the fucking thousandth time, no. Having kittens would cause such a mess and I"m sure you won't do anything about the fucking mess." I said cleaning off the island in our kitchen. Eren was on the other side with his hair in a messy pony tail and his reading glasses falling off his face. It had been an amazing year living with Eren. It was nice having nothing to worry about.  
  
In two days it would be our one year anniversary. April was a beautiful month for both of us. Even though this was only our first April being together.   
  
When Eren and I finally moved in with each other and I sold my old house everything was looking up and still is. We live in Sina, Eren is in college, I work at home selling a best seller series. Thats right, my book Eternity is a best seller in three different countries. Eren is proud of me and so am I.   
  
"One cat is enough Eren. The more you ask me for another cat the longer I'm going to say no."   
  
"Fine," Eren said with a pout. He was such a kid sometimes, but I loved him.  
  
"Good now sweep and mop the floor, there is cat hair everywhere and it's bothering me." I said in a commanding tone.  
  
"If it's bothering you, you should clean it."  
  
"Yeah, but Poppy is your fucking cat."   
  
"SOO! The hair is bothering you!"  
  
"Don't raise your voice at me!" I yelled back.  
  
"What are you going to do if I don't?" Eren asked.  
  
There were so many things I could do to punish my dear Eren. "Well you know how I like BDSM?" Eren nodded slowly, I could tell that he was getting scared. Just as he should. "Well, I can make you submit to me."   
  
The ora was serious until Eren started laughing. I smiled a small smile as he laughed his beautiful ass off. He was such a happy guy going through life with no worries anymore. We didn't have Jean at our door spouting out crap, everyone was healthy, our relationship was fucking perfect. What more could you actually ask for.  
  
"Okay but really clean this kitchen up, the filthy dead cat hair is really bothering me." I said throwing my rag at him.  
  
Eren caught the rag effortlessly, the damn perfect bastard. "Fine, but you're cooking dinner tonight and I am fucking you into the mattress tonight as well."  
  
"One, I always cook dinner you lazy ass and two, I always like a good fuck." I said before retreating into my study.  
  
I had two bookshelves packed with books, a single glass desk with black accents near the large window. I loved my study, it was classic and beautiful. Eren always teased me about my study, said that I put way to much pride in it. The dumbass, if I liked my study then I liked it so what.  
  
I ran my fingers through my hair. Which was another thing that had changed in the past year. I liked the undercut but it wasn't working out for me. So, i got half my head shaved, well more like a forth of my head. It was nice and it went better with the holes in my ears. I got three new holes, a second piercing on both my ears, bars through my nipples, and Eren's favorite, my dick piercing. It was right at the base of my cock and Eren loved it.   
  
I loved it too.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Fuck Eren! Right there! Right there!" I screamed out. Eren was abusing my prostate, while yanking on the collar and chain around my neck, and if that wasn't kinky enough then I'll tell you there was a fucking egg vibrator taped to my dick. All of this had been going on for a good few hours. This was our forth round and we were still going strong.  
  
Eren and I had the kinkiest sex, soft BDSM, lingerie, and the occasional daddy kink. Only sometimes because Eren didn't like me calling him daddy while we were fucking. Just as a nickname whenever he was sad and shit.  
  
Eren tightened his grip on the leash gently pulling it back to the point where I didn't need to be on my hands and knees; just my knees. I let out a loud moan, maybe even loud enough for the neighbors to hear.  
  
"You like that Levi, you like that you little slut." Eren whispered into my ear. The damn sex god. He was just so sexy, it was to much to handle at times.  
  
"Fuck Eren, I fucking love when you treat me like the little cock slut I am." I said in between moans. My ball were probably beyond small at this point, having six orgasms would do that. Seven might just empty my balls completely.   
  
  
  
  
  
"Come on Levi, tell me what you're doing tomorrow!" Hanji and I were at the mall looking for new lingerie. I had worn most of my lingerie a couple times by now. I was looking at the corsets while she bugged me about my anniversary plans with Eren tomorrow.   
  
"I told you before, Eren is planning it and I don't know what's going on."  
  
"I'm sure you have some idea of what Eren is planning."  
  
"I really do not, now help me pick out a corset."  
  
"Fine," Hanji said given up on my stubborn ass. I was beyond stubborn and if I didn't know then I didn't know. Over the five  years of knowing Hanji it's taught me that if I keep my ground then she will give up.  
  
Like a good little lap dog, she helped me pick out a corset. My gift for Eren was fairly physical and I was sure he was going to like it. Well part of the gift I was sure about, the other half, I wasn't very sure about. Hanji just thought that it would be a good idea to get him something that would always remind him of me. What that was, I wasn't sure. The four eyes was keeping it from me and I couldn't wait to figure out what it was.  
  
When Hanji led me to a jewelry store I got a little confused, when I saw Erwin and Petra there I got more confused. "What the hell is going on Four Eyes? Why is Eyebrows and Tree Hugger here?"  
  
"Because, we are picking up some special necklaces for you and Eren."  
  
"And were are these said necklaces?" I asked.  
  
Petra got tapped on the shoulder by a black hair girl and was handed two boxes. "Right here sily," she said in a loving tone. Petra was always a good friend and I only trusted her to cut my hair. She never fucked up and she always did a good job. The Ral family was close to mine and I was practically part of it. Petra's mom cut my hair when I was little and now Petra cuts it.   
  
She handed me the two boxes and I opened one up. Inside was a sapphire and diamond necklace. The gems were arranged in the shapes of wings and it made me think about my father. My dad was in the military before he met my mother. He was a pilot and a good one at that. I remember looking at the pictures of my father in his uniform. The wings reminded me of his favorite medal, the Wings Of Freedom. I still had the medal and the necklace looked just like it. "Guys," I said with a soft and broken voice.   
  
I didn't need to say anything else for them to know that I was thankful for them being my friends. It may seem like I hate them at times, but I love them more than I think I do. They put up with my shit all the time and never leave me. That's what you call good friends.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Seriously where are we going?" I asked with a smile. Eren still hadn't told me what we were doing. Just told me to get in the car and we started driving.   
  
"It's a surprise, can't you just wait."  
  
"No I can't, I'm being you, wait I mean I'm being an impatient brat."   
  
"Very funny, but I'll have you know that I think that you will like this surprise." he said with a small smile. I let out a sigh, giving up on trying to get any information out of him. Eren was stubborn and tonight was a good night, I didn't want to ruin it. Today in general was amazing. Eren didn't have any classes, I work from home, so we both just watch movies and cuddled. We ordered chinese for lunch around 11. Drank wine with lunch and just relaxed until it was time to go out.  
  
The drive wasn't very long maybe 20 minutes or so. Our destination, a small local restaurant. The way that Eren acted it made me think that we were going to some five star place for dinner, or maybe a picnic on Sina Point. I wasn't really complaining, just confused.  
  
Eren gave me a small smile before getting out of the car and walked around to my side, opening my door for me. He was such a gentleman it was to much to handle. Sweet, caring, polite most times, and a complete sex god. I looked up at him, locking our gazes. His beautiful gem eyes were so amazing. Just looking into them made me wonder how in the world Eren was my boyfriend. I'm just some short ass who fucks everything up.  
  
Like the gentleman he was, he offered me his hand to help me out of the car. How could I be this lucky to have him take care of me. I wanted to marry Eren, hell I've wanted to marry Eren since I first saw him. To be completely honest I thought that Eren was going to give me a promise ring graduation day but he didn't. Maybe he was going to give me one today. It would make complete sense.  
  
Eren and I walked hand and hand into the small restaurant. The interior was beautiful, candles on the walls, an old chandelier with roses and ivy on it, beautiful paintings of farm land, and it smelt like fresh baked bread.  
  
"Welcome, Table for two?" The hostess' voice caught me off guard. She was wearing a black vest with a red dress shirt underneath. Her hair was dark like Eren's and she had a shit ton of freckles on her face. All together she wasn't bad looking.   
  
"Yes," Eren answered as I was lost in my thoughts.   
  
The hostess led us to a small table set for two.  She gave us our menus and walked away. Looking that the menu it made sense of the decor. Eren took me to a french restaurant. Kind of cliche since he knew I was french, but cliche some how worked for Eren. Maybe it was his eyes that did it. I wouldn't doubt it. I fell in love with them when I first saw them. It's not every day you see someone with gems for eyes.  
  
"Hi my name is Historia, I"ll be your waiter this evening. Can I start you off with something to drink?" This time when an employee spoke I wasn't caught of guard.   
  
"I'll take a glass of water and your finest red wine," I said.  
  
"Same for me," Eren said with a polite smile.   
  
"Sure thing gentleman," Historia said before leaving our table.   
  
Eren and I talked, looked at the menu, talked about the stupid stuff the Eren's classmates did in class. Laughed, joked, talked about how the wine tasted when Historia brought it over. It was actually pretty good. It was strong yet sweet and I really wanted it all the time. I wouldn't mind getting drunk off of it.  
  
When Historia came back to take our orders we stopped acting like an old married couple. There was a dusty rose tint on Eren's face and I wouldn't doubt it if I was blushing as well. She giggled a little before asking us what we wanted to eat. I got Noki with their secret cheese sauce and Eren got Eggplant ravioli.  
  
While we waited for our food the restaurant got quite full. Almost every table was being used and there was chatter all around. With all the people it made me miss the quiet and homey atmosphere from when we first arrived.   
  
We ate our food and enjoyed our wine. Acted like an old married couple and ignored the stares we got. Some were good some were bad but it didn't matter.   
  
After a while of having a beautiful anniversary dinner, I noticed that Eren was getting a little sweaty and nervous. "Hey are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be right back." Eren said before getting up and jogging to the bathroom. Was it something I said, or something I did. I don't remember doing anything that would make him nervous. Maybe Jean was getting into his head again. It had happened before. Maybe Jean even called him and started shit. I wouldn't doubt it.   
  
In the midths of my anger Eren came back and he looked way more relaxed. All my tension was gone when I saw that beautiful smile on his tan face. It was everything that I could imagine and more.  
  
The smile on his face reminded me that I had to give Eren his present. I reached into my blazer pocket and pulled out the black velvet box. Eren's eyes lit up at the sight of the box. Once again there was that hint of gold in his eyes. It was beautiful and I fell in love with him all over again.   
  
I slid the box towards him. Eren got the hint and opened the box. If it was possible for Eren to light up anymore than he was when he saw the necklace, he might be brighter than the sun. His expression was amazing as he pulled out the necklace. He just looked at me not saying a single word.  I let out a small laugh before speaking, "First of all your face is fucking amazing. Second, they are called the Wings of Freedom. It's one of the best medals you can get in the Air Force. It was my dad's favorite and most prized medal. Petra, Erwin, and Hanji had the medal turned into a necklace. So you can always be reminded of me, even when we are apart."   
  
Eren put the necklace back in the box and grabbed both of my hands. "Thank you Levi. It means a lot to me and the necklace is beautiful. Thank you and since we are giving gifts, I think I'll give you yours." He got out of his chair and walked over to my side of the table. I turned in my chair to face him as he got down on one knee. Was Eren proposing.   
  
"Levi, I've only known you for just over a year now and I can't thank you enough for putting up with me over this past year. Levi Ackerman, I love you with all my heart." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. It opened up and inside was a beautiful ring. It was a black ring with small diamonds on it. "Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"  
  
Tears were flowing down my face and I couldn't stop smiling. Eren was so amazing and I couldn't believe he was mine. "Yes, yes, yes. I will marry you!"   
  
Eren put the ring on my left ring finger the kissed me. I was so caught up with Eren I barely noticed the cheering and claps around us.   
  
Today was perfect, Eren was perfect.   
  
  
  
_When you're with the person you love,_  
 _You don't noticed the rest of the world._  
  
 _Time stands still,_  
 _and it's all about the two of you_  
  
  
<3  
(A poem by Meh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! they are getting married! It's about fucking time!
> 
> This is not the end of the fic, I have way more planned for this fic. It's going to be at least 30 chapters long. 
> 
> But this chapter is very cute. I think that Eren and Levi are just so adorable. Poppy is their cat and there will be a whole chapter just about him because I love cats. Plus I have this whole back story of Poppy.
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Remember I love feedback and reading your comments. And if you want updates and cute gay pictures follow me on instagram @ereri_panda
> 
> Untill the next chapter <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god! It's been like 4 weeks since I updated.
> 
> I'm so so SO sorry guys! I'm also sorry that this is a short chapter. I just wanted to get something out for you guys.
> 
> Anyways, I don't really have much to say, just ummm, enjoy the peace before the storm.

“This is such wonderful news!”

 

“It’s about fucking time!” Armin and Hanji said that the same time. Their words were so jumbled that it was almost hard to tell what they were saying. Eren laughed at them and I smiled a little, squeezing Eren’s hand as well.

 

We drove all the way from Sina back to Trost to tell everyone the good news. It had been a good couple weeks since Eren asked me to be his husband. Even with all that time I still couldn’t believe Eren wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I mean, me. Why me? I wasn’t really complaining but seriously. He could have anyone he could ever want and he picked me.

 

I guess that means he wants me.

 

We all chatted for a while before Armin had to go to work and Hanji had classes. She was taking courses at the community college. She would have a scholarship but her last high school project was a bit extreme and most colleges became scared to take her on. I don’t blame them.

 

Armin had that scholarship but wanted to make some money before going into college. Since he was such an outstanding student since elementary school, Sina University was willing to wait for Armin to be ready for college.

 

Hanji the soon to be Chemist and Armin the soon to be medical researcher. They really were something. Everyone I knew was going to be doing something great.

 

Everyone but me was doing great things. I wasn’t going to college; I wasn’t going to be some big shot career guy; I was just going to be a writer that doubled as a housewife.

 

Eren and I stayed at the café a little while longer. Just holding hands under the table and resting our heads on each other. Everyone once in a while we got some looks of disapproval but that didn’t matter. I was in love with the man next to me; I was in love with Eren Yeager.

 

I looked how at my ring and smiled. This was how I wanted to spend my life. I wanted to spend it with Eren, the man of my dreams. Big, strong, beautiful, a sex god, perfect in more than one-way.

 

 

 

 

Eren took a deep breath before opening the door to his childhood house. He didn’t expect anything bad from his parents; he just didn’t really want to tell them; just in case they did have something bad to say.

 

I kept reminding Eren that his parents approved of our relationship and just want us to be happily married already.

 

But Eren was stubborn and would still prepare for the worst no matter what you told him. It honestly wouldn’t doubt me if he had already planned for the end of the world.

 

The sent of lavender filled my senses; almost a little so much. That was the one thing I didn’t like about Eren’s Parents house; it was always so smelly in the damn house. Sometimes it was nice, but sometimes it was just too over whelming.

 

I know I said that there was only one thing that bothered me about Eren’s parents house. Normally I would forget about it until I saw Carla and Grisha Yeager together. They were the perfect couple, had a perfect marriage. Not like Stephan King’s Perfect Marriage, but a healthy and perfect relationship.

 

They were happy together and could never stay mad at each other for long. Both of them wanted the other to be happy. Just seeing them made me wonder what type of relationship my parents had. I know that they couldn’t get married or were married or I don’t even know anymore. Things were confusing on my mother’s side and I had no idea what was going on, on my father’s side.

 

Seeing Eren’s parents made me miss my own, even though I could only see them in pictures my whole life.

 

Mr. and Mrs. Yeager were in the dinning room drinking tea. They must have just made it because it smelt like fresh brewed tea.

 

It didn’t take long for Carla to notice us awkwardly standing in the doorway. She smiled at us and told us to sit down while she got us some tea. We sat down next to each other, opposite of his parents.

 

Grisha gave us a small and quick smile before going back to reading his book. Soon after Carla came back with two cups of tea, gently setting them down in front of us.

 

“So what do we owe for this wonderful surprise visit?” she asked with a small and tender smile.

 

Eren and I exchanged looks, telepathically trying to figure out how to tell them. After a few seconds of not being able to read each other’s minds, I let out a sigh and lifted up my left hand showing them the ring on my finger.

 

Carla’s face was one I would never forget. Neither will Grisha’s face. They were both so shocked; it was almost funny.

 

“This is amazing news!” Carla exclaimed. She stood up and came over to hug me. I hugged her back with a small smile on my face. I was glad she was happy for us, and that she understood what the ring ment.

 

It was obviously not a promise ring, There where three fucking diamonds on the ring.

 

They went on asking questions about what happened, how Eren picked the ring, the whole investigation. Eren just laughed and I smiled, holding Eren’s hand the whole time.

 

He had nothing to be worried about and I knew he saw that now. If his parents took the news beyond well then he shouldn’t worry about everyone else. I mean like what could they do, stop being friends with us. Everyone wanted us to be dating each other; everyone wanted us to be happy.

 

 

 

After my new soon to be in-laws let us go we headed towards a local bar to meet up with everyone else.

And it wasn’t until I saw Jean’s car in the parking lot, did I realize that we were going to have trouble.

 

 

 

“To The Happy Couple!” Reiner toasted.

 

Everyone was so happy for us, well everyone other than Jean. No one could really tell but Jean was heart broken. It made me feel, depressed. A feeling I hadn’t felt in months. All thanks to Eren.

 

I couldn’t help but just watch Jean, I was scared he was going to try something again, and I was worried that I broke him. It was something I was good at doing, breaking people.

 

 

 

Hours into the night Jean decided he had enough social time. Him and Armin left holding hands but I could tell he didn’t want to be holding anyone’s hands. He wanted to be alone. I could feel for Jean, I felt bad; really bad.

 

Once Jean left I felt a little better, but not completely better. I still felt like crap and I wanted to apologize for everything but little old me just couldn’t do jack shit.

 

We all went on with the night, getting drunk and acting stupid. Eren challenged this bald guy named Connie to a drinking challenge. Whoever could drink 10 shots first won. What they would win I didn’t know; I wasn’t really paying attention.

 

During said challenge I slipped away to go to the bathroom.

 

I just looked at myself in the mirror and I wanted to die. I loved Eren and I didn’t want to hurt him but I wanted to die so badly. I knew I shouldn’t let Jean get to me but that was such a hard thing to do.

 

I splashed some water in my face before going back out. Maybe just maybe I fixed my raven colored hair.

 

When I got out Eren was so drunk it wasn’t even funny.

So we all agreed to go home. Erwin helped me carry Eren to the car and we started the drive back to Eren’s house.

 

Today was just weird.

 

The weirdness in this world is getting annoying, but what can you do.

 

All I could do was hope that Jean didn’t do anything stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn Jean always causing trouble for my babies.
> 
> There was going to be more to this chapter but I'm just like Nah, my head hurts, I'm not in a good state with my relationship, and I just want to go to sleep.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed everyones reactions to the proposal! 
> 
> Well Thanks for Reading Loves! <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's my fault but not at the same time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this?! Another chapter so soon!  
> Maybe because I had chapter 18 all planned out long before I had finished chapter 17. Weird I know.
> 
> But here is is, another chapter to this oh so painful fanfiction.  
> It's kinda short but a lot happens, there is a little bit of angst at the end, and maybe another funeral. But I won't say no more!
> 
> Enjoy the chapter my lovely readers!!

-Jean’s POV-

 

“You don’t understand Armin! I don’t love you I love him! He’s my last chance to be with Mikasa and now he’s gone! I might as well be dead!” I yelled at my boyfriend Armin. The tears began to fall and I knew I fucked up. You don’t say anything like that to anyone. It’s rude and terrible and heartbreaking.

 

But I couldn’t help it. It was the truth. Levi was my last chance to be with Mikasa. I had been eyeing him for a while, tried to talk to him only to get ignored. I wanted Mikasa and I wanted Levi. But Eren got to them both. Both Levi and Mikasa were in love with the damn bastard.

 

I hated him for it. Hated him with a burning fucking passion.

 

“You’re just a fucking asshole Jean!” Armin yelled at me before running out of our apartment.

 

I couldn’t blame him for calling me an asshole. I was an asshole. I was a terrible person that didn’t deserve to live anymore.

 

I couldn’t get Mikasa to love me, or Levi to even fucking talk to me. I was a worthless piece of shit and I needed to end my life before I ruined anyone else life.

 

Wiping the tears out of my eyes I walked to the bathroom. I wasn’t going to chicken out, this wasn’t something that was out on a fucking limb. I’ve been depressed for years, ever since I lost the love of my life. Ever since I lost Mikasa to that fuck tard Eren. With his perfect life.

 

I grabbed a razor blade and sat down near the tub in my bathroom. Personally I didn’t want to go out like you see in the movies. I wanted to go out on my own terms, with my own way, and not sitting in a fucking tub like a typical wrist slitting.

 

As I cut open my veins I thought about Levi. His perfect hair, small frame, beautiful silver-blue eyes. Everything about him was beautiful and amazing. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Since I knew I couldn’t have Mikasa. Levi was the next best thing; but better.

 

I felt my head get heavy and my chest tightened as the blood flowed out of me. I felt free for the first time in a long time. Since I saw the beautiful Prince they call Levi.

 

“I Love you Levi. I always will,” I said with a smile before passing away.

 

 

-Levi’s POV-

 

“Don’t fucking touch me you fucking, you fucking,” I couldn’t even finish yelling at Eren. Jean was dead and I couldn’t help but feel like it was my fault. That there was something I could have done to save him.

 

“Calm down Levi, I’m just trying to help.” Eren said in a calm tone. How I don’t know, he should be freaking out. I mean, Jean fucking killed himself!

 

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down! Our friend is dead and, and, it’s my fault!” I yelled.

 

“I know that Levi!” Eren yelled back.

 

I was freaking out, I just wanted to cry my heart out. Jean might have not been the best person in the world but he was still a fucking person. He didn’t deserve this; never in a million years did anyone deserve this.

 

“Just please calm down, we can talk about this, help Armin and Jean’s parents with the funeral. Do anything you want to do to clear your head. I hate seeing you like this.” Eren had gained his composure once again. He was a miracle.

 

Slowly I nodded and walked over to Eren, hugging him tightly, my head against his chest. I listened to his hear beat, making sure I wasn’t dreaming about the whole thing. That Eren was real and living. Not some creepy zombie that acts to be a fucking human being.

 

Eren ran his fingers through my hair and wrapped his other arm around my waist. I loved when Eren held me, I loved being with him. He made me feel safe, he helped me forget about all the shit in this world. Crazy how I wanted to kill him to I need him to keep me sane.

 

His eyes were my drug, and Eren was my dealer.

 

And I, Levi Ackerman was Eren’s one and only consumer. His only addict.

 

 

 

 

We both sat at the church as everyone else paid their respects to Jean’s family. My face was against Eren’s shoulder. Small tears falling down my face.

 

I didn’t want to be here, I just wanted to go back to Sina and not worry about a thing. Move on with my life, get out of Trost forever. To many deaths took place here and I just wanted to run away with Eren. Have my happy wedding and move the fuck on with my life.

 

 

 

 

“I really don’t know why I’m up here. I wasn’t very close to Jean. He would always try to talk to me and I would ignore him. Personally I think it was his two-toned hair. I always though it was stupid.” What was I doing, thoughts of regret were running through my head. But I kept speaking.

 

“About a year ago, Jean confessed his love to me. He was heavily drunk and I didn’t believe him until I found out he killed himself. Personally I think I’m part to blame for his death. I couldn’t do anything.” A small tear rolled down my face. I couldn’t keep talking. It was to hard.

 

“I’m so so so sorry Jean. I know things were hard and I’m sorry we couldn’t have been friends.” More tears were falling down my face. It was embarrassing but that really was the least of my worries. I had practically killed someone.

 

I turned around to face Jean’s dead body in his coffin. He looked peaceful, I was almost jealous. Slowly I bent down and kissed his lips. I didn’t love Jean but he cared about me and I couldn’t thank him for being there. Even if I wasn’t there for him.

 

I walked down back to my seat next to Eren and continued to cry.

 

 

 

 

“I think that was really brave of you Levi,” Eren said and we walked out of the church and back to our car.

 

“Yeah, I guess,” I mumbled in return. I was still filled with emotion and I just wanted to get back to Sina already. Go back to my cat, and my book, and having kinky sex with Eren. Maybe not the sex thing so soon, I would just feel like total crap if we had sex so soon after a death.

 

 

 

The car ride back to Sina was quiet and tense. I knew Eren thought that I was having second thoughts about everything in my life but I wasn’t. I loved Eren with all of my heart and I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want anyone else to have him.

 

By the time we got back to our apartment it was already pretty late and I just wanted to sleep all the pain away.

 

 

 

“Do you love him?” Eren asked me. We were spooning in our bed and he was asking me a question like that.

 

I rolled over so I could see his face, “I don’t love him, I love you.”

 

“Okay,” he said, avoiding my eye contact.

 

I sighed before cupping his face in my hands and kissing his soft lips. “I love you and only you. I’ve loved you since the moment I saw your beautiful face. When I look at you I get this feeling in my chest that no one else gives me. Eren Yeager, I am proud to be your fiancé. All I want in life is to grow old with you and that’s what we are going to do. I won’t leave your side, never in a million trillion years.”

 

Maybe my speech was just a tad bit cheesy but that didn’t matter; Eren was smiling and kissing me.

 

We both just enjoyed each other’s scents as we went back to cuddling. This time, Eren’s arms were wrapped around me, bringing me closer to his chest.

 

My time with Eren was the best. It was hard, forced, or anything negative. Hell sometimes I think we have a better relationship than his parents.

 

I listened to Eren’s heart beat as I fell asleep in Eren’s arms. As I fell asleep where I knew I belonged.

 

 

 

**My Only Love**

**By (Unknown Writer)**

 

 

_Just to say I love you_

_Never seems enough._

_I’ve said it so many times_

_I am afraid you won’t understand_

_What I really mean when I say it._

_How can so much feeling_

_So much adoration possibly fit into_

_Those three little words._

_But until I find some other_

_Way of saying what I feel, then_

_“I Love you” will have to do._

_So no matter how many times I say it_

_Never take it lightly, for you are my life,_

_And my only love._

_I love you now more_

_Than ever before._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JEAN'S FUCKING DEAD!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> ugh! I'm so so so sorry guys but I had to kill another person off! And I feel so bad for my little Armin!  
> You get to catch up with the little guy a little and see how he's doing in the next chapter.
> 
> But ugh, why do I kill everyone off. I mean like I think everyone will be dead by the end of this fanfic. Maybe that's just me!
> 
> Anyways, Thank you for reading and remember Feedback/Reviews are very much appreciated! Also you can get updates about the fic on my Instagram, @Ereri_Panda   
> Plus a lot of cute gay pictures.
> 
> Thank you Lovelies!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll be here for you, through every tragedy and painful moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm dying in feels about this chapter!!!
> 
> But Yes, another chapter has risen!!! YUS! God I'm such a dork.  
> Just one thing, there is some angst and shit in this chapter but it works out I promise guys!
> 
> Enjoy Chapter 19 and the first chapter in a while that was a normal length chapter!! WOOT!

It’s been three months since Jean passed away and the pain of guilt still hung over me. I tried everything to make it so I wouldn’t feel so guilty, I distracted myself, had sex with Eren, made some new friends. Nothing worked.

 

Not even writing was helpful. Everything was going down hill.

 

I pushed myself away from Eren, as hard to believe as that is. I didn’t want to plan the wedding, I didn’t want to go on dates, I didn’t want to cuddle, I just wanted to lay around by myself.

 

Self hate, my depression, the thoughts, the voices, judgment. Everything from my past was coming back to bite me in the fucking ass. Everything sucked again. I was back in my depression, it was like Eren wasn’t even there in my life.

 

I knew that I only had specific times to hang out with Eren and I never used them. I didn’t want to be a burden to him. I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. Ever…

 

 

-Eren’s POV-

 

You would think after three fucking months he would be over it. But I guess not.

 

It’s been a long few months, dealing with him sulking around, blaming himself for Jean’s death. He won’t even spend time with me anymore. It’s like, he’s in his own world again.

 

I’ve tried getting advice from Hanji but all she had to tell me was, that I had to wait it out. That it would take a while but Levi would become himself again.

 

But I didn’t want to wait, I wanted my Levi to be back. I wanted him to talk to me, or if not me someone. Hanji, Erwin, Pixis, anyone. I really did not want him alone in his own world. I was scared at this point, and who could really blame me.

 

In the year and a half I’ve known Levi, I’ve picked up a lot. I know that he shouldn’t be left alone when he’s not feeling well. Sick or depressed. Mainly because he will start drinking or do something stupid and end up killing himself over it.

 

Hell, I’ve had to skip class just to make sure Levi was okay. Luckily I was able to catch up on all my work and I was still an A average student. Thank whoever was watching out for me.

 

I was so lost in my thoughts I almost forgot I had to meet up with one of my friends from school. Rico wasn’t the most emotional person in the world but she knew a lot about how humans acted. She was going to be a great psychologist some day.

 

“Levi?” I called out while putting on my converse.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I’m going out to meet Rico,” I stated to my fiancé. He stat on the couch watching some French movie on Netflix.

 

“Have fun,” Levi said with no emotion at all. I let out a sigh before walking over to him and kissing the top of his head.

 

“Don’t do anything stupid my love,” I said with all the care in the world in my voice before leaving our apartment.

 

I really missed my Levi, the one that would blush whenever I did something so affectionate, told me to be safe, walked me out of the apartment. The Levi who would act like a house wife no matter how much I teased him about it. I let out a sigh before walking down to my car.

 

Clearing my mind before driving. I could talk everything out with Rico when I got to the Café near her Dorm.

 

 

 

“You look, on edge today, that’s going on in your pretty little head of yours?” Rico asked me. I knew she cared and would try to help me however she could. That’s why I was so happy that I was able to hang out with her outside of class.

 

“It’s Levi,” I said blankly.

 

“Be more specific Eren.”

 

“It’s been three months since our friend killed himself and he’s still blaming himself. Three months, that has to be enough time to get over something, or at least stop blaming himself. I miss the old him, the one that was happy. The one who would actually hang out with me. Cuddle, go on dates, watch horror movies with. I just feel like he doesn’t love me anymore.” I said all at once.

 

“Eren,” personally I really thought that Rico was going to call me stupid but when she began to speak calmly I knew she wasn’t going to do as I thought. “He’s a gentle one, don’t worry. What did you do when Levi was depressed before?”

 

I took a quick sip of my coffee before replying, “I would take him out on a date.”

 

“Then that’s what you have to do,” Rico said immediately,

 

“How a I supposed to do that! He doesn’t even fucking talk to me anymore. He just sits in front of the fucking television and watches the same movies over and over again. I can’t get him to do anything anymore! I feel like he found someone else or he just doesn’t feel the same way. Hell I’m surprised he even still wears his damn ring!” Maybe yelling wasn’t the best idea. Sure there weren’t many people around but still, yelling about your fiancé isn’t the best idea.

 

Rico kept a straight face the whole time I was talking. She adjusted her glasses, fixed her hair, and crossed her legs. Her silver hair in perfect place now, glasses perfectly aligned with her eyes, and, posture a ballerina would be jealous of. Rico was so put together I was jealous of her most of the time.

 

“He didn’t find someone else and he still loves you, you big brat. He has a history of depression correct?” Rico asked.

 

”Yeah, what are you-“ I began to say before Rico cut me off.

 

“He’s going to take this more to heart than the average person. He’s lost a lot of people if I remember correctly. I’m sure he still blames himself for every one of those deaths. But you were there to comfort him. Make him smile again.”

 

I kept quiet and let Rico continue, “I’m sure he’s just waiting for you to show him that you love and care about him. That you will be there for him through his darkest times. That you will be there to take away all the tragedies and take care of them. Levi is scared, he’s been scared his whole life from what I can tell. He wants to feel protected and only you can protect him from his own demons.”

 

Rico went on about how I needed to be there for Levi more than ever. Keep him safe no matter what. She also reminded me that school was ending soon and I could spend more time with Levi.

 

She was a real help, I didn’t feel like I couldn’t do anything anymore. Instead, I knew I needed to do something to protect the love of my life.

 

He was the light to my life and I needed Levi in my life. Forever and always. That’s why I wanted to marry him. I wanted to grow old with Levi. Have kids with him. Do all that cheesy shit with him. Go on romantic dates and share milkshakes at Red Robin’s.

 

I loved Levi and I would never be able to stop loving him; never in a million years.

 

 

 

I let out a long sigh before walking into my apartment. Levi was still on the couch after three hours. I wasn’t really surprised.

 

His Raven hair was patted down but looked oily. Which was rare for Levi, he always kept himself cleaner than Mr. Clean. Levi’s small figure looked even smaller since he was curled up into a ball.

 

The way that he was laying down, I didn’t think that he knew that I was home.

 

 

-Levi’s POV-

 

Being curled up in my little ball on the couch was my new favorite thing to do. Sure I was closer to all the filth that was on me but less germs and dirt would get on me this way. I really needed to take a shower, bathe, do something. But I had no motivation.

 

I heard the door click close and I knew that Eren’s was home. He just stood in the entry watching me. It was kind of weird but I guess if was only because I looked overly small curled up like a little kitten.

 

Personally I was expecting him to say something to tell me it was him but he stayed silent. I didn’t say anything either, just stayed in my little ball.

 

It may have looked like I was cold but I was actually over heating. I could feel the nasty sweat all over my body and I just wanted to take a shower. Damn me and my fear of filth. I’m not really sure how the fear devolved, it just did.

 

Eren finally stopped staring at me and walked in front of the couch blocking me from watching the movie. I looked up at him, finally acknowledging his presence.

 

Without telling me what he was doing, Eren pulled me up and into a tight hug. My eyes widened in surprise. I really thought that Eren was so done with me. That was half the reason why I didn’t do anything with him anymore. The other half was that I was just too depressed.

 

He ran his fingers through my hair, never releasing me from his arms. It was so caring and it was like he was saying, “I’ll always be here for you.” Strange how something so small could mean something so big and important.

 

I felt safe in his arms. I always have felt safe in his arms. Eren just being there made me feel protected. And when he did little things like this, it made me feel like I could always trust him to be there no matter what.

 

If I was having a break down, Eren would do anything to get to me. Step out of class and drive home, stop his studies and help me, if he is out with friends he will just leave and come save little old me.

 

Eren’s strong arms finally loosened their grip on my body. He rested his hands on my shoulders and leaned down to put his forehead against my own. Eren was so much bigger than me and it was amazing. He was my gem eyed prince and I couldn’t thank him enough for never giving up on me. Even now when I wouldn’t do anything with him.

 

“Levi, I love you more than anyone in the whole world. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Do all those cheesy things that couples do. But to do that we need to stay strong and trust that we will always be there for one another. I know that you’ve been struggling these past months and I’m sorry I wasn’t there enough for you. I should have been helping you every step of the way but I was to busy being a fucking asshole.” Eren said every word with matching passion. There was so much passion that tears began to fall down my face.

 

“You’re such a big doof, I love you,” I said. Once again, I suck at words always have but some how Eren knew that I really did love him.

 

“I love you too,” He replied.

 

 

We pulled each other into a hug and stayed there for a while. Everything was going to be okay between us. We both loved each other and we would be there for each other every second of the day. Through all the tragedies and painful moments.

 

We weren’t just kids in love anymore, we were in ever lasting love and I knew that I wanted to grow old with the man I was hugging.

 

I couldn’t wait to be Levi Yeager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYYYYYSSSS!!!!!! My children are so fucking adorable I can't!!
> 
> The next chapter is probably going to be the wedding or planning for the wedding. Like the prep and shit.  
> I haven't really decided yet but it's going to be cute.
> 
> These next 2 or 3 chapters are going to be super cute. And personally I think that we need some cuteness in this fic. With all the shit that has gone on in this story, some serious fluff and cuteness is needed. Don't you think?
> 
> Also if you guys have any ideas for the wedding leave them in the comments!! I don't really know what I want to happen at the wedding so ish needs your help!!! 
> 
> HEHEHE!
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and remember, Comments/Feedback is greatly appreciated. And If you want updates about how the chapter is going or if you just want to see cute pictures of my babies then follow me on Instagram @Ereri_Panda  
> You can also give me requests on there! 
> 
> Thank you for reading Lovelies!!! <3


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Make Love to Me Eren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After What seems like forever. I finally got into the mood and the sprit to finish this chapter. Well Start and finish this chapter.
> 
> I would say that it turned out fucking amazing. But maybe that's just me. I could look back on it like 3 days from now and hate it more than ever but who knows. Right now I'm beyond proud of myself. And I'm really glad I took that break. I really needed it to work everything out. With school and every other last bit of stress, I just would have ruined this chapter. I would have ruined this fic so badly.
> 
> Anyways, I really hope you guys are excited about this chapter. I think you will really enjoy it. 
> 
> Enjoy Reading!!!

Exactly 9 months before the Wedding

 

“I am not wearing a mother fucking dress four eyes,” I said as rude as possible. We were supposed to be picking up my suit for the wedding but no, Hanji just had to drive and take me to a wedding dress place thing. How should I know what they’re called. I don’t even know what the terminal term for the place where you get suits is called. 

“Come on Levi! You would look so cute in a dress!” Hanji was practically screaming in the car and I had, had enough. 

I let out a very audible sigh before getting out of the car. Honestly I just wasted to avoid getting a terrible headache and if that meant trying on a few dresses, I couldn’t see the harm. I wouldn’t be wearing one to the wedding so it doesn’t really matter.

Looking at the building it didn’t look to bad, looked very professional. Almost classy even.

Hanji followed me inside where we were greeted by a fairly tall young woman; Maybe in her early twenties. She had very long hair, down to the small of her back. She greeted us kindly, telling us to ask her if we needed any help. We said thank you and began to look through the dresses. As if I would actually put one on and wear if to the wedding.

“Why exactly are you waiting so long to get married to Eren? We all know you love him why not get married right away?” Hanji asked holding up a dress to see how it would look on me.

I just signed pushing the dress away. “Because the second book to my series is getting published in a few months and I’ll be busy with book stuff to actually do anything other than work.”

“Ahhh, but still. You should just get married already! You guys are beyond adorable together I can’t get over it!” She said placing her hands over her heart looking up at the ceiling looking love struck. 

“Can you not?” I said pulling out a dress to look at it better.

I wasn’t going to wear a damn dress but I could still, you know. Actually look at them and put them up to my body. And Damn. I was really considering wearing a dress to my wedding. No matter how Gay I was and how Straight it would be if I wore a dress to the wedding.  
“You like that one don’t you?” Hanji said with a smirk.

I looked down at the dress once again. It had a lace corset top with some gems near the waist line. Falling down straight. I smiled a small smile before clicking my tongue and glaring at Hanji. “It’s just a nice dress. Nothing more.” I said putting the dress back reluctantly.

Hanji just laughed at me and took the dress. Finding the sales person, asking her if I could try on the dress. At first she was confused on why I wanted to wear the dress but when Hanji outed me to her she got the hint and gave me a warm smile. Agreeing. 

The women opened up a dressing room. Taking the dress from Hanji and pulling me into the dressing room. I sighed when she told me to strip. Doing as she told me. Taking off my blazer, t-shirt, and skin tight jeans. Leaving me in my briefs. 

She didn’t say anything to me when I was undressed. Just looked me over and smiled. Thank you for not saying anything, I thought to myself. I didn’t need anyone to tell me I looked stupid or anything of the sorts when I’m about to do something that had me beyond self-conscious. 

The sales person loosened the corset, holding it open for me to step into. I sighed, stepping into the dress. She pulled the dress up, moving behind me to tighten the corset. “Is this to tight?” she asked when she finished tightening the corset.

“No, I normally wear my corsets a lot tighter.” I said not really thinking how that would be put into context.

Luckily all I got was a small giggle from the girl. “It sounds like you and your partner like to be a little different.” This girl was an angel. She didn’t pry, she didn’t ask stupid questions, and she didn’t judge me.

“Yeah,” was all I could really say.

“Let’s show your friend how amazing you look,” she said resting her hands on my shoulders. I let out a sigh before nodding. Turning around to walk out of the dressing room and onto that cliché platform. I looked myself in the mirror and really liked the way that the dress looked on me. 

Turning around I was greeted with a gasp from Hanji and a small giggle from the girl who was helping us. Whatever the hell her name was. “You look so adorable, and sexy, and beautiful, and handsome!” Hanji was practically screaming at me.

She walked up next to me. Grabbing one of my hands with the both of hers. “I really think you should wear this dress to the wedding. You would look so beautiful in it and I think that Eren is going to cry when he sees you. Actually I don’t think I know he’s going to cry if you wear this dress.” Hanji said smiling at me in the mirror.

I let out a sigh looking over myself again in the mirror. I looked like such a girl. Wearing a dress. I even felt like one. It’s normally the girl who gets everything ready for the wedding. Venue, getting pastor, sending out invitations. “It feels weird wearing a dress.” I admitted. Feeling like a soon to be wife was different from being an actual girl. 

“That’s just because you aren’t used to wearing dresses. But I really think you should think about getting this dress.” Hanji said, still stuck on the idea of me wearing a dress. 

But honestly, the more I thought about it the more I wanted to wear the dress. Sure wearing it felt a little weird but I would get used to that fact. Wear it on my special day and rock it better than any female. That’s what I did. Made most girls look bad because I had things they wanted but never could have. 

Maybe that’s why I gave up on girls. Just maybe. I’m still pretty sure the reason I’m so gay was because I was just born a completely gay person. Born with a rainbow tattooed on my ass when I was born. Sadly, I didn’t have an ass tattoo, or a tattoo in general. Not to self, get a tattoo soon. Hopefully before the wedding.

“Yeah, I think I’ll wear this dress down the isle.” I said messing with the skirt slightly. This dress would be my little surprise to Eren on our wedding day. Shitty Glasses better be right about Eren crying when he sees me walk down that isle because I want to see that. Ever since I knew I was gay and that I would be the one walking down the isle on my wedding day, I knew I always wanted my partner to look at me and get all emotional. Never did I think that I would be wearing a dress but I didn’t really mind at this point. 

I was trying a lot of different things. Like one, actually getting married after years of telling myself that the man that I wanted to marry would never marry me. But look at where I am now. I’m going to marry my prince finally and I going to live in my beautiful Gay world. Have some kids, and live happily with the man of my dreams.

Life for once was going well and it was really all thanks to my beautiful Gem Eyed Prince. I looked myself in the mirror, imagining what Eren would do when he saw me in this dress. Would he cry, carry me, fuck me in front of everyone. I didn’t know. And I honestly didn’t care. Eren was the love of my life and I couldn’t thank him enough for everything he’s ever done for me. 

“I think you picked the best dress. It looks wonderful on you. I’ve seen a lot of girls try this dress on but none of them looked this bright and beautiful in it.” The sales women said. I looked over at her with a smile. Looking back in the mirror.

“Yeah, I want this one.” I said. I really couldn’t take my eyes off myself. For once I felt confident in something I didn’t normally wear. People normally told me that I could pull off everything. That I just had that face. Personally I didn’t see that, but I was really pulling this dress off, making it different. 

The women smiled at me, “Okay, we will have to order it in a size smaller since this is a little big on you and if you want the corset to be like how you normally wear them you’ll need one size smaller.” She said helping me down from the platform. 

I would need help getting around in this dress. Make sure I didn’t fall on my face in nine months.

“Okay,” was all I said before she walked me back to the dressing room. Helping me out of the dress. Leaving me to get dressed once I was out of the dress. Carrying it back to the counter she was behind when we first arrived. Getting the order ready.

Hanji was over by the counter talking about my relationship with Eren with the women. Saying that we were beyond adorable and that it was lie we were soul mates. Meant to be together. I couldn’t really agure with that. Everything with Eren was always natural and great. Him and I were meant for each other. True life partners.

I walked over to the counter, holding my blazer instead of wearing it. The lady told us that the dress would arrive in about seven months and that when it did arrive that they would call us. I would also have to come in for fittings once the dress had arrived. Agreeing, I paid for the dress, thanked the women, and walked out with Hanji.

“I’d say that was a successful trip.” Hanji said once we were in her car. 

“Yeah, who would have thought I would be wearing a dress to my wedding. It’s so… Hetero.” I said buckling in.

Hanji just barked out in laughter, turning on the car. “You are too gay for your own good Levi.” She said once her laughter subsided. Beginning to drive to our next destination. Personally I didn’t know where that would be.

 

The door clicked shut behind me. I slipped off my shoes walking over to the couch where Eren was sitting. Reading what looked like a text book. He looked so caught up in what he was doing, I didn’t think he actually realized that I was home.

I walked behind the couch. Leaning over to hug him from behind. Rubbing my head against his. The action caught Eren’s attention. He closed his book, putting it on the end table. Turning his head to give me a kiss with his soft lips. I smiled into the kiss, walking around to sit next to Eren. Wrapping my arms around him. 

Eren smiled at me, putting an arm around me, pulling me a little closer. I hummed nuzzling against Eren. 

“How was your day?” Eren asked, finally breaking the silence.

“It was good. I got some things ready for the wedding.” I said, making sure not to mention the fact that I was going to be wearing a dress. Eren was supposed to be kept in the dark about it. Hell, the only people who were going to know about the dress were the people who were giving me away to Eren. Pixis and Hanji.

“That’s good to hear.” Eren said rubbing my arm. “I really missed you today,” he said kissing my head. 

My face turned slightly pink as I smiled. It was little things that made my day. Knowing that Eren missed me, made me fall in love with him all over again. It was like the first time I saw that gold glimmer in his eyes, I fell in love with him a thousand times over. 

Eren was beyond perfect and I didn’t know how I managed to be with someone so perfect.

He stood up, picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder. I gasped in shock, hitting his back telling him to let me go. Putting me over his shoulder was Eren’s favorite pass time. Every time I would fight him he would only just laugh at me. But stubborn me would still try to fight him. 

He carried me to our bedroom. Gently placing me down on the bed before pinning me down. It was then that I knew what Eren was going to do. I sighed loudly, turning my head to the side, pinching the bridge of my nose. “You’re such a teenager,” I said looking at the wall instead of Eren.

Not only was carrying me one of his favorite pass times, but so was fucking me so hard I’m not able to walk properly if at all.

“I’m only like this with you. No one else pulls this side of me out.” Eren said with lust filled in his eyes.

I smiled at him, pulling him down into a passionate kiss. Tangling my fingers in Eren’s hair. Biting at Eren’s bottom lip. 

He pulled away only to attack my neck. Pulling at my shirt. I let out low moan as Eren licked and bit at my neck. He played with the hem of my shirt, pushing it up. Exposing my chest. He exchanged licking and kissing my neck for biting and pulling at my nipples. 

I arched my back letting out a loud moan. “Fuck Eren,” I moaned out as he didn’t light up on my nipples. Eren hummed, surely enjoying my reactions. I looked at Eren through hooded eyes. His eyes looked so bright and I knew I wouldn’t be able to fight him, and honestly I didn’t want to fight him. 

I gripped his hair, as Eren messed with my nipples. Not holding back any of my moans. He twisted and pulled at one while biting and licking at the other. 

Eren pulled away, looking at me. There was that hint of gold in his eyes, he looked so beautiful and amazing. I moved a strand of hair out his face, smiling at him. “Make love to me,” was all I said.

It was a rare request. Normally both of us just wanted to have rough sex, to the point where neither of us could move for a while. It was always like that from the first time that we had sex. (Ahhh, Such Gay Memories) 

But sometimes, some passionate meaningful sex was in order. 

Eren smiled at me with love instead of lust in his eyes. It was crazy how we went from wanting to fuck like beasts to gentle and caring lovers. “Of Course.” He relied.

He pulled me into a soft kiss. Running his hand over my exposed chest. When air became a problem, he pulled away taking the time to help me out of my shirt and I helped him out of his own. Returning to the kiss.

I ran my hands over Eren’s back, feeling every dip and curve. Eren did the same but with my chest. Running his fingers along my v-line.

Soon Eren pulled away. Leaving a trail of kisses down my chest to my pant line. Undoing my pants and pulling them, leaving me in my boxers. He smiled at me, kissing my member that was poking out. I had barely noticed my hard on, I was to busy admiring the way that Eren’s lips felt.

My face turned a light shade of pink as he did so. You could see the pre cum leaking out onto my underwear, giving Eren the idea that it was time to free me. He pulled down my briefs and I gasped a little at the cold air on my warm member.

Eren left a few kisses on my dick before coming back up to kiss me. His lips warm and soft. I smiled into the kiss, flipping our positions. I kept kissing him, running my hand up and down on Eren’s chest. His muscles firm under me.

All those hours he spends at the gym really pay off. I licked his bottom lip, asking for access. Eren didn’t waste time before opening his mouth, letting my tongue into his mouth. The kiss was soft and heated, an odd mixture of feelings. 

I didn’t pull away as I undid Eren’s pants. He helped me take them and his underwear off. Once the offending clothing was out of the way, I moved myself down between Eren’s legs. Grabbing the base of his cock and giving it a few strokes. 

Eren gasped slightly, watching me began to lick and kiss his length. I took the head of his cock into my mouth, teasing the slit, cleaning off the pre cum that was leaking out. He let out a moan that was completely sexy it made my cock twitch.

I hummed as I took more of Eren’s cock into my mouth. Soon I felt Eren’s pubic hair tickle my nose. I took the opportunity to look up at Eren. His face was flushed and his mouth was slightly parted. I hummed around his cock as I began to bob my head. Eren let out a gasp and gripped my hair with one of his hands.

I let out a moan as Eren did so, enjoying the feeling. He never pulled on my hair hard enough to hurt me. Unlike me whenever he would fuck me so good I would scratch at his back to the point he would be bleeding. I would always feel bad for doing so in the morning and Eren would just shake it off saying it didn’t hurt all that much. But both of us knew that was a total lie. It’s like saying that I would be able to walk without a limp after Eren fucked me hard against the wall or into the mattress. There was no way I wouldn’t be in pain and the same goes for Eren.

Eren bucked up into my mouth hard when I wasn’t expecting it, causing me to cough a little when I removed his dick from my mouth. Instantly Eren sat up started apologizing. 

“Levi, are you sure you’re okay?!” He kept asking.

I chuckled at him, leaning up to place a kiss on Eren’s lips. “I’m fine, now let me finish sucking you off.”

Eren gulped slightly as I lowered myself back down between his legs. Returning to wrapping my lips around his warm cock. Eren cursed under his breath as I began to bob my head. Sucking in my cheeks to tighten the feeling. Once again, Eren pulled at my hair, gasping and moaning.

It didn’t take long before Eren came into my mouth. I struggled a little to swallow all of his cum but I managed with only a little coming out of my mouth. I removed my mouth from his cock after I milked him of everything that would come out right now. Eren looked at me through hooded eyes, completely lust filled. 

I moved up to pull him into a passionate kiss. Eren didn’t waste time to ask permission to shove his tongue into my mouth. Deepening the kiss further. Unlike most of our lust filled kisses, this wasn’t messy and sloppy. It was heated and passionate, yet clean and loving. That was the best thing about kissing Eren, he was just a kissing sex god and I fucking loved it.

Eren pulled me into his lap, beginning to grope my ass. I let out a moan into his mouth. His hands slowly moved closer to my entrance, before I realized two of Eren’s fingers were teasing my entrance. I pulled away from Eren’s kiss and let out a moan, resting my head on Eren’s shoulder. 

Slowly he began to push both his fingers into my dry. It was painful at first but soon the pain turned into pleasure and I was moaning into Eren’s neck as he pumped in and out of me slowly. 

“Eren, ahh, fu-fuck more.” I moaned out. 

I knew that Eren was probably smiling like an idiot. He kissed my head before adding another finger, pumping in and out of me a little faster. I clung onto Eren, as this was the first time in the year and a half that he had ever gone into my dry. I scratched his back, leaving red streaks where my nails were. I couldn’t help it. My ass was stinging but it felt so raw and wonderful without all the lube. I could only imagine how wonderful Eren’s cock was going to feel inside of me.

Eren avoided my prostate while he stretched my asshole. I didn’t mind since I was already experiencing such pleasure at the moment without my prostate being abused. I let out lewd moans as Eren pumped in and out of me.

I scratched at Eren’s back some more, even more when he added a fourth finger. I gasped when he did so. Really made me wonder why I didn’t ask Eren to make love to me more often. He took such great care of me and was gentle but still caused me to have such extreme pleasure and a fucking wonderful orgasm at the end.

Clinging to Eren didn’t seem to bother him. He kept quiet, listening to me moan into his neck. “Eren, ple-please, fuck me, I don’t think, ahhh, I can wa-wait any lon-longer.” I moaned out when I felt my orgasm coming closer.

Personally I think that Eren knows when I’m about to come. Maybe it’s the way I move under his touch or maybe it’s a change in the way I’m moaning. Whatever it was, it sure came in handy. Eren didn’t pull his fingers out of me, instead he just curled them, hitting my prostate once, causing me to cock my head back and let out a loud moan.

Eren pumped in and out of me while I rode out my orgasm. It was insane what Eren did to me. How I would just turn to nothing under his touch, and completely disappear without a trace when he fucked me. Even if it was just his fingers.

I rested my head on Eren’s shoulder, completely out of breath. I didn’t know how I would last an actual round with Eren right now but I wanted to. I wanted Eren’s hot dry cock inside of me. I placed a few kisses on Eren’s shoulder before sitting up to pull his lips into a kiss.

He slowly pulled his fingers out of me, in exchange for gripping my hips tightly. I didn’t mind, I just ran my fingers through Eren’s hair as I kissed him. 

Hell I barely noticed when Eren picked me up and placed me on my back on the bed. Mainly because we didn’t stop kissing once until Eren began to slowly push his cock into me. I watched his length slowly disappear into me and I was right thinking that feeling Eren dry would be a beautiful experience. His cock was so raw and I could feel everything. I whimpered slightly at his size before nodding my head, signally Eren that it was okay to move now.

He trusted in and out of me slowly at first, me moving my hips down to meet his trusts. At the beginning Eren didn’t try to hit my prostate but once we gained a rhythm he repositioned me so he had a clear path to my prostate. Making me see white every time he hit it.

There we were, him making love to me and me loving him with all my heart.

Everything was looking right in the world and I was beyond happy. I let out lewd moans, enjoying myself and I was sure Eren was feeling just as much pleasure. Even more so when I would clench around his length.

Eren continued to make love to me, and I couldn’t stop falling in love with my Caribbean Green Eyed Prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY BABIES!!! AHHH YES! After Jean and everything they are finally going to get married and Have their happily ever after. Maybe. Just kidding, or am I?
> 
> I'm not there is going to be a lot more that happens in this fic. Hell, Eren has to finish school and Levi has to do something beyond stupid and Erwin has to get more involved and it's all just a mess in my head right now but the more I write the better it will become.
> 
> But I'm so happy for my babies, they are just my whole world. Hell, fanfiction and fanart actually helps me get through my depression and stress. Weird I know, but I just love this Ship so much. It is my life. I'm not even joking. I love Eren and Levi more than anything in the world. Like more than Tacos, and if you know me, I fucking love tacos.
> 
> Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed Mama Hanji and Little Levi going to pick out a beautiful dress. (Cough Cough, My old dream dress before I realized I wanted my future wife to wear it) Yeah. I love Hanji so much, and Eren. I love Levi too. I love my little short baby so much. He's my world an I need to just ugh, I just love him so much.
> 
> GUYS! Remember! Reviews/opinions/theories/comments/feedback is so very much appreciated!! I love reading your comments and getting messages on Instagram about how someone it feeling about my story!
> 
> If you don't want to comment and you want to do it more personal, Please feel free so contact me anytime on my instagram. @Ereri_Panda  
> I haven't been posting a lot lately but I reply to ever one of my comments and/or Direct messages
> 
> <3 I love you guys too I hope you know <3
> 
> Thank you for reading!!!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I just suck at updating this story. Sorry Guys.
> 
> Anyways. This chapter is just filling up some space before the Wedding. And to lead up to something tragic because I'm just evil like that. 
> 
> Personally I don't know how I feel about this chapter, I feel like it just fucking sucks but it has it's moments.

4 Months to the Wedding.

 

December, which meant two things. One fairly important thing, and one not so important thing. The not so important thing about December is my 20th birthday. The important detail would be the fact that I only had 4 months until Eren and I got married and I was so swamped with wedding plans. With the dress coming in, in a couple months, the venue people being beyond rude because we were a gay couple. For fucks sake, it isn’t 1994. Guys can get married, it’s fucking legal, now don’t go all cold feet on me because I want to marry the love of my life.

So there I was, sitting on the couch, alone in Eren and mine apartment trying to figure out everything for the wedding. Nothing was coming along and the only thing that I was really doing was increasing my stress and anxiety.

Eren wasn’t going to be home for a while and I didn’t know what to do. I pushed away all the work I had in front of me, letting out a sigh. I pinched the bridge of my nose and leaned back on the couch.

I don’t know how long I stayed like that until my phone started to go off. 

Hanji would call me at a time like this. It had been a while since her and I last talked. Maybe about two months. I took in a deep breath before answering. “Look I don’t want to hear about your date with Erwin shit glasses. I have more important things to take care of,” I said before she could say anything.

“I wasn’t going to talk about that!” she said quickly in return; and rather loud too.

“Then what do you want to talk about Shit Glasses?”

“I want to talk about you and Eren Mr. Grumpy.” She said with a serious tone. I rubbed my temples not knowing what was going to happen. “Little birdie told me you and your prince haven’t had sex in a while and I’m here to explain how to spruce up your sex life! Because just because you are getting married in four months doesn’t mean that your sex life is over.”

I let out a groan, tired of Hanji’s shit. “Eren has been busy with school work and I have been busy with my book signings and planning for the wedding. My sex life isn’t over and doesn’t need sprucing up”

Hanji let out a loud groan of her own into the mic of her phone, causing me to pull my phone away from my ear. “You are so full of shit. I can’t come over since I have a class in like two hours but whatever. You need my help you baby.”

“Unless you know how to plan a whole wedding over night. I don’t need your help.” I said really having none of Hanji’s shit.

“Well…. I could help you with that if I wasn’t already planning a surprise for you and Eren.” Hanji mumbled the last bit of her sentence, but I was still able to make out what she said.

“What the fuck Hanji? What surprise are you talking about?” 

“Oh it’s nothing Honey Bun. Just suck Eren’s dick when he gets home.”

“You’re-“ was all I could say before Hanji interrupted me.

“Gotta go baby doll, I’ll call you when I can!” Was all Hanji said before cutting the line. I let out a string of curses before putting my phone on silence and placing it with all the paper work that was on the coffee table.

Hanji was worried more about my fucking sex life than anything else. Not my wedding, not my book, not anything. She just wanted Eren and I to have hot sexy sex. Honestly, I couldn’t blame her. When I talked to Hanji before about Eren, I would always say how I wanted to have hot gay sex with him every day of my life.

I stood up from the couch walking into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea.

Tea was a beautiful thing and I could never drink enough of it. Maybe that was why I was literally a stick. I drink so many cups of tea. I sighed pouring the hot water into my cup.

“Why is life so fucking complicated?” I asked no one in particular.

“Because, the world likes to challenge us to make us stronger.” 

I looked up from my cup of tea to see Eren’s Caribbean green eyes. I smiled at him as he walked over to me, dropping his bag on the ground to pull me into a hug. He placed a few kisses on my forehead, causing me to chuckle softly.

“What are you doing home. You said you had class until after three o’clock.” I said, catching his gaze.

He fixed my hair, giving me one of his famous tender smiles. “I got a call from Hanji maybe 15 minutes ago telling me that I need to treat you more like a princess. So I decided to skip my last class to spend time with you.” He said caressing my cheek. 

Eren’s hands were warm on my skin. I couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “Weird, because I got a call from Hanji telling me that I should suck your cock when you got home.” I said with a soft chuckle.

Once of the best things about Eren was that he was never fazed when it came to the blunt shit that came out of my dirty mouth. Eren just laughed at my words, not saying anything. 

I don’t know how long we just stood there. Me being in his arms and our gazes locked. Beautiful green eyes mixing with icy grey ones.

 

Christmas Eve’s Eve

 

~Eren’s POV~

“I don’t know about this Hanji. Do you really think Levi would like it if we threw a surprise party for his birthday?” 

Hanji had drove over to Sina to talk about Levi. His birthday was in two days and I still didn’t know what to do for it. Hence why I was at a café with Hanji. Personally I just wanted to spend quality time with Levi and maybe go on a dinner date later but it was Christmas and I would have to make reservations right now if I wanted a table at any decent restaurant. 

“Honey, you should have more faith in me!” she said loudly as normal. I hadn’t known Hanji all that long but I was able to get used to her loud voice. Mainly because I knew it was just because she was so passionate about everything.

I let out a fairly audible sigh, taking a sip of my coffee. Trusting Hanji was always a hit or miss. Something really wonderful comes out of it or something terrible comes out of it. She did well with pushing me towards Levi and she helped me calm him down after Jean messed with us in that café. I knew Hanji only had good intentions for Levi and I. “Okay fine, what exactly is going to happen at this party?” I asked.

Honestly I didn’t know if I should have trusted Hanji but it was whatever now. We were going to throw Levi a surprise birthday party. Hopefully he wouldn’t get to pissed off at us. That would be bad, but would be funny; unless he starts yelling at us. Oh well, it was all in the hands of Hanji now.

I said my goodbyes to Hanji before walking out of the café, and onto the cold streets of Sina. Luckily I parked close and didn’t have to freeze my ass off for to long. Slipping into my car I turned it on quickly, revving the engine to warm it up faster. Sina was farther from the coast so the winters were not nice. But it was nice to see snow, and maybe throw it at Levi when he isn’t expecting it. I was such a nice boyfriend.

A small chuckle escaped my lips as I started driving back to my apartment. Levi should be home since he had a deadline for the next chapter of the final book of his series. He was such an amazing writer and was getting fairly popular with everyone. Book signings, interviews, hell someone even wanted to turn his books into movies. Levi obviously turned down the movie offer, saying he wasn’t going to risk them, and I quote, “Fucking up my book and turning it into a porno because people like watching other people have sex.” 

Lets just say the movie companies were embarrassed. No one tried to change his mind about it, to scared to defy Levi’s wishes. They were smart that way.

Thinking back to that interview was funny. I wasn’t able to be with him on that day since the press just wanted to see Levi, not his partner. Personally I just like to go to those interviews for the entertainment. At least one person would piss off Levi and watching them get cussed out or humiliated first hand is funny. Watching Levi get sassy in general is just enjoyable to say the very least.

Before I knew it I was pulling into my parking space outside the apartment building. I took in a deep breath before leaving the nice warmth of my car, running into the building.

Luckily I ran fast enough to avoid getting to cold. 

No one was in the lobby as I walked to the elevator, going up to my floor. The whole building seemed to empty, must have been because of the holidays. Most people take expensive vacations that they had plans for since eight months ago. Sina, the city of the rich.

I unlocked the door walking into my apartment. None of the lights were on, the only light that showed was the small streaks that came in through a gap between curtains.

Levi must have been locked up in his study the whole day. I sighed wondering why he worked so hard. There was a difference between what hard work was and being a workaholic. Levi was a workaholic when it came to his books lately. Always wanting to turn in a chapter early so he could keep writing. Maybe it had something to do with the wedding coming up. Something that I wasn’t allowed to help with. Levi always saying there were to many surprises for me, therefore I wasn’t allowed to do much work on the wedding. All the little details were left to Levi.

Personally I didn’t like Levi doing so much work, but I really couldn’t do much about it. Levi would be Levi. His stubborn self forever.

I walked through the dark apartment to Levi’s study, pressing an ear to the door to see if it was a bad time or not. No noise escaped the room, not a single click or rustle. I knocked on the door before opening the door. 

Honestly I shouldn’t have been surprised to see Levi’s sleeping form. He had fallen asleep on his desk; his dark hair covering his face. I walked over to his desk, placing a kiss on his forehead before saving his document. It would be a shame if all of Levi’s work went to waste. I carefully picked Levi up, carrying him back into our bedroom.

Levi looked content as I placed him on his side of the bed, covering him up with the comforter. He curled up, hugging his pillow as I placed a quick kiss on his lips.

He was such an amazing person and I didn’t know why life was still so hard on him. He was constantly bothered to do stuff he didn’t want to do. Hell, he didn’t even want to do a book signing but Pixis told him that his book would do better if he did. 

I loved Levi more than anyone else. Sure things at the beginning were weird and awkward but we made it. Looking at Levi now, you would never know he was so depressed and had given up on the world. He wasn’t cured of his depression but he was getting better now that he had something to motivate him. A life that he wanted to live. I couldn’t have been more proud of Levi for everything that he has over come. He lost everything but he still keeps going.

He would always have my love and respect.

 

The Next Day

~Levi’s POV~

Some how I was in my bed when I woke up. I could have sworn that I fell asleep at my desk around like what three or maybe six or maybe noon. Fuck if I knew.

I sat up and stretched out, there was no way I was going to be able to sleep for the next few days considering how rested I felt. The room was dark around me and I couldn’t see a thing. Hell I wouldn’t have even known that someone was in the room with me if Eren hadn’t started to softly snore in his sleep. Gross.

Since Eren was asleep (and snoring at that) it must have been the middle of the night. The day before my birthday. I let out a loud sigh, honestly not wanting Eren to make a big deal out of it. What he did last year would be fine. Cuddle up on the couch watching old Christmas movies, drinking hot chocolate, and sharing soft kisses. That’s what I really wanted for my birthday.

Eren and I had decided last year that we wouldn’t celebrate Christmas since I wasn’t entirely fond of the holiday. It was just another day where people came together and pretended to tolerate each other. Everyone knew it was fake but we laugh and smile all the same. 

Instead, we just celebrate my birthday, doing whatever Eren really wants to do. It maybe my birthday but to me, December 25th was just another reminder that I’m getting older. The only perk was that I was a year closer to being legally able to go to bars.

I got out of bed, pulling up the comforter so the bed was neatly made on my side. I would deal with Eren’s side when he woke up.

Looking down at my body I noticed that I was still in my stupid clothes. Yay, actual pants. I took them off without a second thought, putting on some sweatpants. Much better.

Eren was still sound asleep even though I made a lot of noise trying to find a clean pair of fucking sweat pants. I would have to laundry later. After my birthday, I thought to myself walking out of my room and into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

I put the kettle on the stove before walking to my study while I waited for the water to boil. Everything was still in it’s place, Poppy hadn’t gotten into his stuff. Speaking of Poppy, where was the little bastard. Probably hiding in their bedroom since he wasn’t on the couch. I sighed, picking up my phone from my desk, checking if I missed anything. Sure enough there were plenty of missed calls from Pixis and I didn’t feel like calling him back anytime soon. My deadline wasn’t for another week, he could wait to get the chapter. I put my phone back down and walked back to the kitchen, the water should be ready soon anyways.

Sure enough the water started to boil soon after I got back into the kitchen. Everything in my life was filled with work, nothing tragic or exciting. I guess I shouldn’t really complain. I’ve dealt with more tragedy than I really should have but it’s whatever at this point. 

As long as I don’t ever have to leave Eren for any reason and he didn’t have to ever leave me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, the ending just screams Tragedy.   
> This story is Called "Tell Me Your Tragedies" I'm a fucking evil being.
> 
> I honestly think a lot of you are going to hate me for what I have planned. Forget everything I said about happiness. There is going to be a lot of ups and downs. And ummmmm. A lot of fucking Angst. Like a lot. 
> 
> THAT SHALL BE ALL I SAY!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my! Another chapter all ready?! It's a fucking miracle!  
> It really is because I can never write these fucking chapters. But I had like everything planned out for this chapter while I was writing the last chapter so it was fairly easy. It was just a matter of having time to write it or not.
> 
> Anyways, I really hope you enjoy this chapter and try not to cry. Because I'm a fucking asshole and I made my babies suffer. A lot. Like a lot in this chapter.
> 
> I'M SORRY!!!!!!
> 
> I'll leave you to you're reading

Christmas Day

~Eren’s POV~

Levi spent all of yesterday working. Said he was to close to finishing the chapter to stop yet. So while my beautiful fiancé was working his ass off, Hanji and I were working on Levi’s surprise birthday party. We invited everyone we knew so we could throw the best party ever.

I wanted Levi to feel wanted to feel as special as he was. He was everything I could ever want and more. Fuck, he was stunning, he was smart, he had the best sense of humor, and he was fucking amazing in bed. Like, fuck. He’s perfect.

I didn’t notice I was smiling like an idiot until Levi walked in and pointed it out.

“Why are you smiling like that? Are you thinking about me again,” he said smirking. God that smirk did shit to my heart. Levi might be a complete bottom but I wouldn’t mind getting fucked in the ass by him. With that dick piercing too. 

Fuck I could feel myself getting aroused just think about having sex with Levi.

“How can you be so fucking self conscious but be so cocky at the same time?” I asked leaning against the counter as Levi poured himself a cup of tea.

“It’s a curse.” He said with a shrug turning around to face me. His eyes looked so bright and beautiful. I couldn’t help but to get lost in them. They were like ice on trees. Beautiful and picture worthy.

My smile didn’t fade as I walked over to him, lifting him up on the counter. He moved the things on the counter out of the way, wrapping his legs around me. This was going to be his best birthday yet and I was going to make sure of it.

“When do I get my birthday present?” he purred out pulling me closer to him; a smirk playing on his lips. He was so fucking hot I couldn’t help it. I pulled those soft lips into a heated kiss. His lips warm against mine.

We tugged at each other’s clothing, desperate to get the offending fabric off our bodies. Yep, I was determined to make this Levi’s best birthday.

 

Everything was turning out perfect. I mean like, everything was perfect. Levi was away with Hanji to celebrate his birthday with her, all the while everyone else was driving in from Trost and my buddies from college were coming over as well. I talk about Levi enough for them to actually know him. Everyone was really excited for this party. Mainly because there was going to be a shit ton of alcohol, provided by Pixis of course.

I left the door open so that everyone that was here for the party could just walk in and start helping out. 

We went with a winter theme because why the fuck not. The whole thing was very last minute but it would be fucking awesome! Fuck yes!

I was so ready to surprise Levi. Sex in the morning and a party at night. Yep, I really outdid myself. 

“Hey Eren!” I turned around to see Farlan. He was a cool guy, he really knew how to calm someone down and in a way reminded me of Armin. 

He was holding two bottles of wine, figures. He was of legal age to buy alcohol so it made sense that he would bring some. The more alcohol the better.

I walked up to him, taking one of the bottles away from him, “Hey man, glad you could come.” I said leading him to the kitchen to put down the bottles.

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Levi means a lot to you and you both honestly deserve a good party.” 

Farlan was right. Levi and I put up with so much shit it was going to really nice just to have a day to relax. I nodded, putting the wine bottle with the other alcohol. Leaning against the counter. “Honestly, I just really hope from here on out everything is smooth sailing. Levi has been through enough and I don’t want him to go through anymore pain.” I said looking at my feet.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, looking up to meet Farlan’s grey eyes. They weren’t grey like Levi’s, his eyes reminded me more of someone who was blind. But his pupils were black and not white, crème, grey color. I know my colors so well.

“I’m sure the worst is behind you and even if it’s not you guys can work through it. If what you say about him is anything to go by, he’s completely in love with you and doesn’t ever want to leave you. Both of you guys can work through the end of the world together.”

He was right, Levi and I could work through any problem that came our way. We always have and always will. 

Love was a weird thing but it was also a powerful thing. 

“Thanks Farlan,” I said simply before I started bossing him around. We still had a couple hours before Levi was going to be home but there was still a lot of work that needed to be done.

Decorations were going up and people were picking out music that they thought would be good for the occasion. Everything was turning out perfect and we finished well before it was time for Levi to come home. I sent a text to Hanji telling her to come back with Levi whenever they were ready.

In the mean time, I brought out the alcohol. Pouring everyone who wanted some a glass. Some just grabbed a bear from the fridge instead.

We had a cake that said happy birthday, the apartment was covered in lights, there was decent music playing, everything was as perfect as it could be. I am 99.9% sure that Levi would enjoy our efforts. If not, he would enjoy the wine and vodka.

Honestly I don’t know how many drinks Farlan and I had before I finally got the text saying that Levi was ready to head home. I smiled widely showing the text to Farlan. I knew I was getting pretty drunk at this point but it didn’t matter right? Right. Everyone was here and I yelled out telling everyone to take their places.

It didn’t take long for them to get home. We had turned out the lights and hid behind anything we could find. When we heard the rattle of the door being unlocked. The door opened and we turned on the lights, jumping out from our hiding spots to yell “Surprise!” in some what unison. Levi was a little shocked, but quickly figured out what was going on.

He rolled his eyes, taking off his shoes like he always did when he got home. “Someone better get me a drink,” he said. 

We all cheered, someone handing him a glass of wine. The party could start. Christmas never felt so good.

 

~Levi’s POV~

It was nice I guess, for them to throw me a party. Honestly I just wanted to go another round with Eren but I guess alcohol would work too. 

The thing that bothered me the most about this party was Eren was being way to handsy with someone I didn’t even know. Most likely a friend for college but still. That was my Eren you were clinging on. 

For most of the night I drank the vodka straight from the bottle, screw cups. No one needs you.

Honestly, I thought it was going to be a good birthday for me. But with how Eren was acting towards the blonde, dirty blonde, pale brown haired fuck face I couldn’t exactly enjoy the party.

I tried my hardest not to take notice to their drunken flirting but that plan failed when I saw the other whisper something in Eren’s ear, making Eren laugh. That was when I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t just sit there and watch Eren openly flirt with someone other than me. I was the one he was getting married to, I should have been the one whispering sweet nothingness into his ear, I should have been the one he was clinging to. 

I took one last drink of vodka before storming over to where Eren was, he didn’t even notice I was standing right in front of him. I was fuming with rage and wasn’t entirely clear with what I was doing. 

If it weren’t for the sound of my hand smacking Eren’s face I wouldn’t have even known I slapped him. He looked at me in shock, holding his cheek. “Why don’t you just fuck him while you’re at it!” I screamed out before storming out of the apartment. Tears were flowing down my cheek as I ran down the hallway to the elevator. Continuously pressing the button until the doors opened. I stepped into the elevator pressing the lobby button. I needed to get out of here. Somewhere, anywhere as long as I was far from Eren.

 

I ignored my phone as it kept buzzing in my pocket. I didn’t know or cared who was calling me right now as I walked down the streets of Sina. No one giving me second look. 

Honestly, I didn’t want anyone to look at me longer than a second. I didn’t want anyone to look at me period. 

I was lost in my thoughts thinking about everything that I could have done better. Everything that I could have done to have prevented this heart break.

But everything seemed to make sense. I wasn’t good enough for Eren, I never was. I was just something that Eren used to pass the time. A mere sex buddy who could barely even please him bed. Eren just felt sorry for me, that’s why he stuck around. Not because he fucking liked me, because he felt bad for me. That’s why he really talked to me that first fucking time. He wanted to rub everything in my face. Tell me that I wasn’t the only one with fucking problems and I should just get the fuck over myself. He was right, I was pathetic. I was worthless. Nothing but something to take up fucking space.

The tears never stopped falling as I walked alone down random streets.

 

~ Before Levi’s Blow Up ~  
~Eren’s POV~

 

Farlan and I were clearly drunk so it didn’t surprise me when Levi didn’t come over and thank me for the party. I knew he would. Maybe not today but tomorrow after I fucked him like he liked to be fucked. Just thinking about made my dick twitch. 

Levi was fucking amazing, even if he looked so angry most of the time. Levi could never really be mad at anyone other than himself. It was a self conscious thing I guess.

I was hanging off of Farlan, singing along to Katy Perry’s, Dark Horse playing in the background. Honestly, I knew I looked fucking stupid, I felt fucking stupid. But none of that mattered. It was Levi’s birthday and we were celebrating like one happy family.

Farlan chuckled as he glanced over at Levi. I gave him a confused look as he leaned in next to my ear, “You’re soon to be husband looks like he needs to take a shit, that or he’s really sexually frustrated.” 

The comment made me throw back my head in laughter. Taking a glance at Levi, I knew Farlan was right. He did look pretty sexually frustrated, or just regularly frustrated. 

I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face until I felt a stinging sensation in my cheek. Instantly my hand covered my cheek that was stinging like a fucking bitch. Levi was fuming in front of me as I gave him a shocked look as he screamed out “Why don’t you just fuck him while you’re at it!” and stormed away. 

Everyone looked over at me as Levi ran out crying. No one had seen this coming and everyone was frozen in shock. That was, everyone but Hanji. She took one look at me and she was pissed. I still had my arm wrapped around Farlan as she walked up to me, slapping my other cheek. Grumbling out a “You fucker” before running out after Levi. 

I didn’t know what I had done wrong, I was just having fun. Maybe Levi heard a rumor or he felt left out or something. All he knew was that the party was over and he had been slapped twice. Hard.

Farlan tried to comfort me once I returned from my state of shock. I pushed him off me walking over to my bedroom. I sat down on the bed and pulled out my phone. 

It took me a good couple minutes before working up the courage to dial Levi’s number. The line kept ringing until it finally went to voice mail. I didn’t bother leaving a message. 

I don’t know how many times I called him or how many texts I sent him. He wasn’t reading any of the texts or calling me back. 

Levi must hate me now, I fucking ruined everything. 

That’s when the tears started to flow down my face, dropping onto the ground. I was sobbing as I thought about Levi. How he must be off finding someone better than him. Someone that wouldn’t cause him pain. Right? 

This pain that Levi must have felt was all my fault. I deserved to get slapped, I deserve to get beat into the ground for hurting Levi. 

Levi the most precious thing in my life. I loved him more than anything else, I love him so fucking much and I blew it. I hurt him and I didn’t know how to fix it. Hanji hated me now and I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone at the fucking party hates me now. I honestly wouldn’t hold it against them.

I laid down on the bed, curling up under the comforter that still had Levi’s lingering sent. I held it close as I sobbed, soaking the pillow with my tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm an asshole, I really am.  
> I mean like Eren doesn't know what he did wrong and Levi thinks Eren isn't in love with him. He's not sure anymore. But you as the reader know exactly whats going on! So it makes it that much more frustrating :)  
> And this isn't the last of the angst. There is going to be like 1 to 3 more chapters of angst before I plan on fixing anything between Eren and Levi. I'm sorry but, it has to be done.
> 
> Plus I love watching people suffer, I mean what?  
> I didn't say that
> 
> But whatever,  
> Remember Comments/Reviews/Feedback is alway appreciated! 
> 
> <3 Thank you for reading my lovelies


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't help but crave you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH My GOD! I've missed you guys <3
> 
> But yes, after over a month maybe almost two months ( I lost Track ) I have finally busted my ass enough to fucking finish this chapter. And might I just say,  
> My Heart
> 
> I was going to keep this chapter filled with angst and torture you guys but I decided to be nice for once.
> 
> Also, there is a lot of point of view changes in this chapter. Just telling you.  
> Oh and a little Levi x Mob
> 
> Sorry.... But it's not graphic, not really. I mean, it's very general. But I think you will forgive me at the end of this chapter. Maybe. I don't know. I wouldn't put it against you if you didn't. I'm a terrible person.
> 
> Well, Enjoy the chapter!! <3

~Levi’s POV~

 

I ended up staying in a hotel the night of my birthday. I turned off my phone, bought a shit ton of ice cream, and seduced the guy at the liquor store to sell me four bottles of vodka. 

It wasn’t the best idea since it ended with me having to give him a head but I didn’t care. Eren was probably getting one anyways by that guy he was leaning on. I let the pervert come in my mouth, swallowing the bitter seed. The action earned me a bottle of wine of my choosing. Free of charge of course. 

Over all, I was proud of myself when I sat on the hotel bed drinking myself into a coma. I turned on the tv watching some show called “Person of Interest”

I don’t really remember what the show was about since I was to busy finishing off the first vodka bottle. As I took the last drink of the bottle, I could feel the wetness of my tears running down my face. They were cold like the rest of my body. I was truly pathetic. 

Pathetic in the sense that I really thought that Eren wouldn’t get tired of me. That he would always whisper sweet nothingness into my ear, hold me up when I can’t feel my body, take care of me. Love me for as long as we lived. That was why he purposed to me wasn’t it? 

Maybe there was a point in time where he was in love with me but it seems like that faded some time ago. 

I lay my head down on the pillow, curling myself into a ball. My tears don’t stop falling from my eyes and I can’t find it in myself to wipe them away. 

Everything is cold, the air around me, my body, my heart. Eren wasn’t there to warm me up. He is my sun with his beautiful eyes and tan skin. With his laugh that always made me happy, his personality in general was just perfect.

Maybe that’s where we went wrong. I wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t anything. Eren was perfect, he had a life, forever caring friends and family. My family was dead, no one in my life seems to stay. It was really a miracle that Hanji and Erwin have stayed with me so long. They were both amazing people with passions and hopes. Me, I didn’t have that. I just lived life, doing what I thought I was suppose to do. What society wanted me to do.  
That’s how it always is, we can’t get away from society. We can never escape the fact that we have a place and if we don’t pick the path that leads to that place, society will punish us. Push us on the streets, make our partners cheat, take away everything that we care about.

I am nothing and Eren is something. We don’t belong together.

 

~Three Days Later~

 

I don’t even think I’ve left this hotel room for more than just to get more alcohol. Which lead to me having to have sex with the guy that owned the liquor store once I ran out of money. So there were times when I was out of that room for at least an hour. Old perverts never last long and always make me leave unsatisfied. 

My hotel room was trashed, bottles of vodka and wine everywhere. At this point I was sure I had alcohol poisoning. 

Hell, I might as well be dead in the state that I’m in. No one knows where I am, if they even care. Which would be a long shot that they even do. Eren is probably happy that I was gone. Happy with his new boyfriend, living in love. 

Three days ago, I would have held it against him, but now. 

I can’t help but be happy that he found someone he cares about. Because anyone who can have the blessing of Eren’s love should be grateful. I am. Even if he wasn’t in love with me anymore, he still loved me at some point. 

 

~New Years Eve~  
~Eren’s POV~

 

It’s been nearly a week since Levi’s birthday. I’m scared out of my mind and I don’t know how much I can stand. I was the biggest idiot in the whole fucking world. I lost the love of my life because I was so fucking drunk. Hanji hated my guts, so did Erwin. Hell, everyone at the fucking party hated me, I even hated me. 

I was truly a terrible fucking person and I just really want to die. Is this how Levi felt when he lost his Uncle. The last of his family.

As I sit, in a pile of Levi’s clothes, I know what it feels like. To have everything taken away from you. 

My whole life has been taken away from me, twice. First, Mikasa. Then I met Levi, and he brought me back to life. Allowed me to lean on him, and I allowed him to lean on me. Now, I lost my life, the love of my life, the reason I loved waking up in the morning. Because, I knew, no matter what, Levi would be right there next to me. Now, whenever I wake up in the morning, he’s not there.

His clothes are loosing their scent and it hurts.

Everything hurts.

 

~Levi’s POV~

Walking on the streets feels so foreign to me now. Actually feeling the sun on my skin and the wind blow on my face. 

The only part I don’t seem to enjoy is the fact that it’s fucking freezing and I didn’t run out with a jacket. I was almost tempted just to steal one of the blankets from the hotel but I don’t really want to go back to my apartment in hand cuffs. I don’t really think Eren would appreciate that. Or that guy he was with on my birthday.

Eren.

His name still makes my heart flutter but it also makes my stomach drop. 

I know no matter how hard I try, I won’t ever be able to get over him. He is the love of my life but I’m not the love of his. Not anymore at least.

After about an hour of trying to find out how to get back to the apartment I give up and get someone to call a cab for me. Funny how if you have terrible bags under your eyes and look totally helpless, people will help you but when you’re totally fine, no one gives a shit. No one seems to care until things get really bad. Go humanity.

Normally, I would be against getting into a car that so many people have been in but I didn’t want to be walking on the streets. Not on New Years Eve. I still have some of my pride left. Being seen alone on this night on the streets, you are labeled as a lonely junkie that has no one. I may be turning into that but I don’t want to be that just yet. 

I tell the cab driver where to go and he drives. No questions asked. That’s the good part about cabs, they don’t ask you why you’re going some where. They just want you to pay them money.

Luckily, my driver doesn’t try to make conversation with me. Probably since I look like I haven’t had a decent night sleep in months. But in reality it’s only been just under a week. Tomorrow would be a week. New Years.

 

~Eren’s POV~

 

When I heard the knock on the door, I was so confused. I honestly thought that it was going to be the police telling me that they found Levi’s body and wanted me to identify the body.

When I looked through the peephole and saw Levi, my mood got a thousand times better. I opened the door so quickly I’m surprised that the door didn’t break. The look on Levi’s face was filled with emotion and I didn’t have time to figure out any of them before I wrapped my arms around him. 

At first he was tense but after a few moments he relaxed and I felt him hug me back. I really doubted that I was forgiven for being the biggest asshole ever but the fact that he didn’t hate me was great. Gave me a chance to actually fix my mistake.

“Levi,” was all I was able to get out before the tears started streaming down my face. I couldn’t help it, I was so happy. Happy to know that he was okay, alive, and that he was able to hug me back. My heart was slowly putting itself back together as Levi rubbed my back.

I never knew I could miss someone’s touch so much. I needed Levi, needed him more than anything in the whole world.

I just hoped that Levi needed me too. 

After a while I felt Levi slowly pulling away, sniffling softly. I didn’t even realize he was crying too. 

He looked at me and the tears just fell helplessly. He looked so broken, so lost and confused. I knew I probably didn’t look any better.

I watched him try to wipe all the tears away, only causing more to fall. I placed a chaste kiss on his forehead, trying to calm him down.

Levi pulled me close, burring his face into my chest. His tears still falling. 

We stayed like that for only god knows how long. But I didn’t even care. Levi was back in my arms and I couldn’t have been happier. After nearly a week without being able to hold him, I didn’t ever want to let him go. 

“I’m sorry I’m crying, I just,” Levi started to say but I hushed him. Starting to run my fingers through his raven black hair. His hair was greasy but I didn’t mind. Once he calmed down a little I would clean him. Make him feel better, apologize for being the biggest asshole that ever walked the Earth.

Levi’s tears started to slow down and his breath evened out. But neither one of us pulled away. 

“I came here to apologize for not being good enough. I’m so sorry I wasn’t enough, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to keep you happy. It’s all my fault and I just want to you to be happy. And if that’s with someone el-“

I didn’t let Levi say anymore as I connected his lips with mine. His words mad my heart drop and I couldn’t take him putting himself down. I would never stop loving Levi, not even a little bit. I will always love him. 

Our kiss was slow and passionate, as he didn’t hesitate to kiss me back. His arms moved from my waist to around my neck. I moved my hands lower to pick him up, Levi wrapping his legs around my waist. 

I didn’t break the kiss as I brought Levi into the apartment and closed the door. Levi broke away from the kiss to my neck, sucking on the skin. Skin that hadn’t been marked in ages. I craved Levi’s touch, didn’t want anything else in the world.

As Levi left marks on my neck, I carried him back to our room. The room I made love to him so many times. Pleased him, took care of him, loved him more than anything else in the whole world.

Carefully I placed Levi down on the bed, pulling away to take off my shirt. 

He looked at me with such fondness my heart fluttered. I missed the way that Levi looked at me. How he never let anyone not know that he wasn’t in love with me. It was flattering and I loved it. Loved him. Loved him more than anything else in the world.

I helped him out of his shirt, gently running my fingers over his marble skin once it was discarded on the fabric. I felt him shiver under me and it only made me smile. 

“Eren,” he breathed out as I started to unbuckle is belt. I looked up at him to catch his gaze. There was so much love and care in his eyes it was overwhelming. “I love you, I love you so much, and I won’t ever be able to love anyone the way that I love you,”

His words were filled with passion and love. I couldn’t help but smile as I moved up the place a chaste kiss on his lips. “I love you too Levi. I can never stop loving you, I don’t ever want anyone other than you.”

I saw his eyes glimmer as he gave me a soft smile. A smile that made my heat flutter. Levi was more than perfect and never in my whole life would I want anyone other than him. I will spend the rest of my life, constantly proving that I am an always be madly in love with him. I leaned down to connect our lips together, our kiss now hungry and filled with need. 

We craved each other, needed one another.

 

~Levi’s POV~

 

When Eren confessed to me, I knew I forgave him. That he had a reason why what happened, happened. Feeling him touch my bare skin set me on fire. I never knew I would become so addicted to a person. But then again. Eren was more than just a person. He was better than everyone else in the whole world.

Eren was perfect.

I laid on my stomach after he made love to me. Eren rubbing circles on my bare back, leaving chaste kisses on my back. Kisses that made me smile. Smile like nothing had even happened. 

“I love you,” he said softly against my skin and I looked over my shoulder to catch his gaze. Seeing him now, looking right at him as he said those three words to me. Even after we had sex. “I loved you a week ago and I love you now. I’ve loved you for years. I only wanted to confine with you when Mikasa was dying. I only wanted you through hard times, only wanted you for years. I’m sorry I got drunk that night, I’m sorry I was hanging off of Farlan. But you have to believe me when I tell you, I never cheated on you.”

I don’t know how long I just stared at him after he explained himself. 

The whole thing was a misunderstanding?

I felt the tears rolling down my face and I didn’t even try to wipe them away. I was the biggest, most insecure person to ever walk the face of the planet. “Fuck, so this whole time, I thought that you weren’t in love with me anymore. That you found someone else.”

Eren kissed the nape of my neck and grabbed my left hand. He brought it up to his mouth and kissed my ring finger that still wore the ring Eren gave me. The ring that told the world that we were together. I blushed lightly, as Eren looked up at me.

“You obviously still had hope, because you’re still wearing my ring. The ring that expresses my undying love for you,” Eren’s words were as smooth as velvet and I missed him so much. Missed his voice, touch, scent.

I was in a room filled with nothing but Eren. He flooded my senses, and I didn’t want it any other way.

“I love you Eren,” I said softly.

“I love you too Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES! My babies. Oh my god.  
> Ummmm  
> Do you guys hate me for the beginning of this chapter? I won't put it against you if you are.
> 
> But yes! The misunderstanding has ben resolved, and my babies can stop blaming themselves for what happened. And blame me because I'm a fucking evil ass person. hehe
> 
> I'm not even ashamed. Like, having Levi come back and be like "I can't stop loving you no matter what" makes my heart exploded. Like Levi, stop being a sweet little angel. I love him so much!  
> AGHH
> 
> But yes, thoughts about this chapter would be greatly appreciated! I love reading comments, it makes me all happy.  
> Also! You should follow my Ereri account! @Ereri_Panda  
> I love talking to you guys and if by some fucking miracle you draw fanart for this story I promise to love you forever. Because like, I will. I will forever Love you. 
> 
> Anyways!  
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter and how everything turned out. And Hopefully I don't take 10 million years to write Chapter 24  
> <3 <3


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can forgive but you can never forget. Never stop blaming yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoot. It hasn't been ten million years! Anyways, this chapter is very meh to me. 
> 
> But whatever, I hope you guys enjoy it!

“I love you Levi”

Those words were burnt into my memory as I fell asleep in Eren’s arms. How? How was any of this possible, that he would just take me back after everything. I ran away from him and I hit him and I cheated on him. Sure it wasn’t emotional and it was just to get booze, but still. 

“I love you Levi”

Eren was perfect, I didn’t deserve him. He deserves so much better. After everything he still loves me, and wants me to know it. Burn it into my soul that he loves me. 

“I love you Levi”

I was blessed, blessed by this angel named Eren. He was everything I ever needed. Everything else, I need to get over by myself. 

“I love you Levi”

Never have I cried this much, not even when I was ripping my arm apart with a razor. Not what caused that. Having Eren take me back, accept me, love me, that made me so happy I could just let go of everything else. Lean on him and not have to worry on anything else in the world. 

“I love you Levi”

Eren is my everything.  
“I love you too Eren”

 

I woke up to Eren placing kisses down my bare back. His lips warm against my skin. “Well good morning to you too,” I said looking back at him with a smile. 

Eren smiled, placing a chaste kiss on my lips. “It’s always a good morning when I wake up next to you,” he said softly against my skin. He softly rubbed his thumbs over my hips as he kissed the small of my back. 

“You’re too perfect Eren,” I said into the pillow. Was I really worth all this trouble and love? Eren should have someone better than me. My smile quickly faded and I buried my face in the pillow. Secretly trying to suffocate myself.

“I’m not perfect, I hurt you. That makes me imperfect. We all have faults but love is when we accept someone’s flaws and find them beautiful. I love you more than anyone else, because I don’t just love you. I’m in love with you Levi. Nothing is going to change that, I will love you in this lifetime and I will love you in the next.”

Yep, Eren was just way to perfect. 

I flipped myself on my back so I could look at Eren. His hand finding my face and gently caressing my cheek. “Why do you love me Eren?” I asked leaning into his touch. 

Eren smiled at me and my heart fluttered. I missed his smile, the one that told me silently that he would always be there for me, take care of me, hold me, love me. How could I have ever thought that Eren was cheating on me. It was painfully obvious that he’s head over heals in love with me for some odd ass reason. 

“I love you because you are you, Levi Ackerman, soon to be Levi Yeager. A beautiful man that is so talented, in and out of the bedroom,” he said the last part with a chuckle and it made me smile. “You have soft black hair, smooth skin, scars of your past. You’re smart and you care a lot. Even if you don’t like to show it, everyone knows you care.”

I chuckled at the caring part, “Looks like my secret of actually being a human being got out. I was really hoping everyone thought that I was an alien here to breed with Humanities Finest.”

That got a laugh out of Eren. “And, you’re funny. You have a strange sense of humor but it’s still funny,” he said resting his forehead on mine.

We both closed our eyes and just enjoyed each other’s presence. I don’t know how long we stayed like that before Eren let out a heavy sigh. “I love you Levi, more than anything else in the world,” his words were softly said but they held so much passion.

 

 

“My Sweet Darling Levi!” Hanji yelled at me the moment she saw me, tightly wrapping her arms around me. 

“Tch, nice to see you too shitty glasses,” I said blankly patting her back until she finally let me go.

After a few days of constant sex with Eren, we decided it might be a good idea to tell Hanji that I returned. That, and explain that it was all just a misunderstanding. 

Just a misunderstanding. 

I let out a sigh, feeling terrible for putting Eren through that again. It just seems like no matter what I do, I can’t get away from negative thoughts. Everything in my life is bad, except for Eren. But even with him I feel that I don’t serve him. That he is untouchable but for some reason he has let me touch him. 

Eren chuckled as Hanji released her death hold of a hug. She was like my sister and I loved her like one. She was great and just wanted the best for me. Even if she did give me headaches every single time I see her.

“Were in the world did you run off to baby boy? You scared all of us. After the first two days and I didn’t hear anything about you coming back home, I called the police to go and find you. But don’t blame me if they call you a child, you are pretty short and I might have referred to you as my, and I quote, “Adorable Smol Child”. But who can blame me! You’re so adorable!” Yet again, she pulls me into a life sucking hug. 

After a little while she picks me up and carried me to the couch. “Damn Four Eyes put me down!” I yelled at her. 

She just let out a cackling witch laugh as she placed me down on the couch. Eren followed, sitting down next to me. Hanji sat down on the arm of the couch, facing Eren and I. 

Eren, took it upon himself to lay down on the couch, with me between his legs. I didn’t hesitate to lay back on him. Eren’s cuddles were going to be needed if I’m going to be talking to Hanji about everything for the next hours. Maybe even days knowing Hanji. I felt Eren wrap his arms protectively around my waist and I hummed in appreciation. He was warm and comfortable. Just beyond perfect in every way imaginable. 

I looked up at Eren, Placing a kiss on his cheek, “I love you,” I said softly, unsure if Hanji would be able to hear our exchange of words.

“I love you too,” Eren whispered back.

Our exchange was followed up by a squeal. We both looked back at Hanji, Eren’s face heating up a little from getting lost from the task at hand. I simply shook it off, getting my mind ready for Hanji’s million questions.

“You guys are to adorable together! How did any of us think that one of you would purposely cheat on the other. Like, you are so madly in love it’s so insane! I don’t think I’ll ever come across such lovers as you too. It’s like your souls were meant to be together no matter what!” Hanji said overly excitedly. She looked at us both like she was studying us and all in the universe seemed to be going well. Like, everything was falling back into place. 

Deep inside of me, I hoped that this year would be better than any other year. I would be getting married to Eren, Eren would finally be getting his kittens, and I would be releasing another book. 

In theory, everything should go well and it should be a good year but, knowing me, I’m going to fuck something up. I just really hope Eren will be there to help me fix my mistake.

My Caribbean Eyed Prince.

“You forgave me quickly,” Eren said with a chuckle.

“Well, if Levi forgave you then that means that nothing really went down with that ashy blonde hair guy from the party. Because, I know Levi and if something did go down he would blame himself and leave with no further explanation,” Hanji explained with a shrug.

“Yeah, you have that right,” I chimed in. Running my thumbs over the knuckles of his hands that rested on my stomach. 

Eren placed a kiss on my head, smiling. “Everything is fine now. We cleared up the misunderstanding and made up,” Eren explained being very vague on details.

And Hanji didn’t miss a beat, “Mhmm, and how exactly did you guys make up? Because from the way you’re acting right now; Levi has been back for at least a few days.” Leave it to Hanji to figure everything out. She loves the truth, needs it, craves it. Personally I think that it comes from her being transgender, but I haven’t known her, her whole life so I don’t know if she was always like this. “So, give me all the dirty details my darling,” she said sitting back like she was going to watch a movie.

I let out a sigh. Fighting Hanji was pointless, she would just get us to tell her no matter what. Well, I guess I could just ignore her and grind on Eren’s crotch. Get him aroused and have him see Hanji out of our apartment. I didn’t really have time to make my decision before Eren started to talk, “Well, Levi knocked on the door and I instantly pulled him into my arms. He cried, I cried. We realized that both of us were in a wrecked state without the other. Yada Yada, one thing led to another. We kissed and ended up having sex for three days, and honestly I’m surprised that Levi can even really walk.”

My face turned bright red and I buried my face in my hands from Eren’s last comment. Hanji started laughing and I could feel, I could literally feel that smug smile on Eren’s face burning into the back of my head.

“My little honey bears made up and that’s all that matters, well it’s what mostly matters. The fact that you aren’t giving me more information about your little sex vacation it a little troublesome but I’ll over look it for now,” Hanji said with a smirk. A smirk I knew so well, that I could feel her smirking.

“You guys are so, oh my god,” I said keeping my face buried in my hands. 

“We love you baby! That’s why we do this! Plus, I find the sex between to men to be way more interesting than straight sex. But maybe that’s just my opinion,” Hanji said with zero shame in her voice. 

I slowly looked up at her and there was that fucking smirk. A groan escaped my mouth and I pinched the bridge of my nose. “To be completely fucking honest here, I’m really surprised you haven’t planted a camera in our room to record us having sex. Or maybe even hide somewhere in our room to watch us,” I said blankly feeling a headache coming on.

Hanji laughed at my statement and I could reasonably assume Eren was blushing madly. My blush had faded and I just wanted Hanji out of my home. Considering I was still slightly hung over from my little six day drinking fest. 

“Oh baby honey bun, I am strange but I know my limits. Personally I cross the line at condoms, and since you don’t use any I can’t really do that,” she said.

Her comment made me look at her and want to strangle her. “Condoms, you mean you would take a used fucking condom and collect them. Oh my fucking god, I can not, I will not. Holy fucking mother shitting monkey of a motherfucker ass burger,” I said trying to get even closer to Eren and farther away from Hanji.

“No Honey! Condom wrappers, you know the little thing that keeps the little baby shield safe from being broken and forming a baby,” she said not even addressing my colorful language. 

One great perk of having Hanji as your friend, she loves it when you let out strings of curses. She says that you can pick up different speech patterns and anomalies that way. Personally I don’t believe it but she doesn’t care that I curse worse than a British sailor. “Okay good, because if you were collecting used condoms I would never be talking to you again because that is so beyond fucking gross,” I said placing my hands on Eren’s, lacing our fingers.

“Agreed, that would be really gross and I would be worried that you might start cloning people,” Eren said his voice a little shaky.

Hanji just chuckled. After a few moments her phone started to go off, she got off the couch taking the call. “Hey baby… No I’m with Levi… Yeah he ran back into Eren’s arms a few days ago… They were busy making love to each other… Yes yes, Love. L.O.V.E… You’re such a big doof Erwin… Okay… Yeah… I love you too baby,” She said before hanging up. “Well sweeties, my baby needs me to head back so I can help him a new piercing thing he got from work. I’m sorry for running out on you guys but I’m sure Levi wants me out of here anyways,” Hanji was already getting get stuff together walking to the door, “I love you both! Keep having lots of gay sex so I can ask your neighbors about how loud Levi is in bed!”

That last comment made me want to punch her in the face but I knew that wouldn’t be a very good idea. Maybe after the wedding I would kill her. Or if she actually talks to the neighbors.

 

~Night of the Same Day~

 

I couldn’t sleep for the life of me. Eren and I ended up just cuddling on our bed, watching Netflix on his iPad before he fell asleep on me. Leaving me to lay their in the darkness. 

After maybe a few hours of just laying there Eren finally let go of his tight hold on my waist. Moving from lying on his side to lying on his back. His chest steadily rising and falling with soft snores escaping his mouth. This was actually the first time in a while I was awake when he was asleep. For the past days we’ve been fucking through the night and I was sleeping and sleeping and sleeping. No wonder I wasn’t able to sleep now. 

I really do hate that my body thinks that anymore than four hours of sleep is too much sleep. Like what the hell body. Can’t you just have a normal sleeping schedule? Apparently, it’s just to much to ask for. 

Watching Eren sleep was peaceful, relaxing. His breath always even, mouth slightly parted, and face so relaxed. Eren was a sleeping beauty that’s for sure. I moved closer to Eren, curling up next to him. I rested my head on his arm, moving my leg over Eren’s body, and placed my hand on his chest. Watching it rise and fall with Eren’s chest.

He was warm, so warm and amazing. 

Soon, I was finally able to sleep. But once I was taken by sleep, I wished I wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, good old cliff hangers. My favorite thing to write then post then watch the world explode. Nah, I'm just kidding. I just didn't want the chapter to get really long so I decided to cut it here and leave all the good stuff for the next chapter. Lots of drama, lots of emotions, and a lot of confessions.
> 
> It is a tragedy story so I just have to have even more tragedy.
> 
> Then I have to plan the wedding and all that cute stuff. Honeymoon, cuteness. Really build up that sweetness just to tear it down. Then build it up again, then end the story.  
> Yes, I am planning on ending this soon. I honestly don't know how many more chapters I'm going to write for this fic but it will be coming to an end.   
> You will finally be able to see if these gay babies will be able to live in gay happiness or if I'm a complete asshole and planned on ending this story in a totally tragic way.
> 
> Because, I had two endings planned out in my head when I started this thing and I finally picked one. You'll just have to see if I picked the good or the bad ending. 
> 
> hehe, the tension.   
> Anyways! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!   
> Thoughts and opinions on the chapter and story as a whole would be really nice! 
> 
> I love you all!!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> EEK!
> 
> I know a lot of people just want Eren and Levi to get together but it's going to take time. There is a lot that's going to go down just a warning. But it's going to be an adventure that I think that you guys will enjoy.
> 
> But did you guy see my Little #ErenDidNothingWrong Thing? hmmm  
> Guess not.
> 
> Well, I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter of this new fic! Please any feedback and reviews would be so much appreciated!
> 
> Thank you for reading Lovelies! <3


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